About: Hosni Mubarak   Sponge Permalink

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Hosni Mubarak was born on 4 May 1928 in Kafr-El-Meselha, Al Monufiyah, Egypt in a small shed in his uncle's garden. He attended Mohammed High School in Cairo where he was bullied relentlessly for his inability to write prose of any sort, a memory that has stayed with him ever since. Upon leaving High School he was voted by his class as "Most Likely to go bat shit crazy", he was against this ruling for two reasons: 1. * He was unaware that people in school did not like him. 2. * They voted in a fully democratic manner with many people eligible for nomination.

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  • Hosni Mubarak
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  • Hosni Mubarak was born on 4 May 1928 in Kafr-El-Meselha, Al Monufiyah, Egypt in a small shed in his uncle's garden. He attended Mohammed High School in Cairo where he was bullied relentlessly for his inability to write prose of any sort, a memory that has stayed with him ever since. Upon leaving High School he was voted by his class as "Most Likely to go bat shit crazy", he was against this ruling for two reasons: 1. * He was unaware that people in school did not like him. 2. * They voted in a fully democratic manner with many people eligible for nomination.
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  • Hosni Mubarak was born on 4 May 1928 in Kafr-El-Meselha, Al Monufiyah, Egypt in a small shed in his uncle's garden. He attended Mohammed High School in Cairo where he was bullied relentlessly for his inability to write prose of any sort, a memory that has stayed with him ever since. Upon leaving High School he was voted by his class as "Most Likely to go bat shit crazy", he was against this ruling for two reasons: 1. * He was unaware that people in school did not like him. 2. * They voted in a fully democratic manner with many people eligible for nomination. Upon completing high school, Mubarak joined the Egyptian Military Academy, where he excelled in cookery and origami. On 2 February 1949, he left the academy and joined the Air Force Baking School in Alexandria, gaining his commission as a Cookery Officer on 13 March 1950, eventually earning a Master's Degree in Applied Confectionery. As an officer, Mubarak served with various units until he joined the "Speed Fire" squadron, where his skills were applied in a fast food chain attached to the Air Force Canteen. In 1959 he took a sabbatical from the Air Force in order to take his career in a completely new direction, this time he elected to attend the Josef Stalin School for the Tyrannically Inclined in Stalingrad where he took a course entitled 'Despots: A Guide to Conquest.' Modules in which he excelled were: * How to kill your boss and get away with it. * Assassination Dodging - the 5 style method. * How to have elections when there is no-one else to vote for. On his return to Egypt, Mubarak rejoined the Air Force and took command of the West Cairo Air Base in 1966. Although he was woefully under qualified for the job, he had created a fantastically glorified CV that was never checked, a policy he soon changed when in office. Mubarak continued his military career until it reached its apex in 1972 when he was made Head of the Air Force, knowing that he was in no way qualified for this role, and any wrong decisions would hurt any political campaign he would make in the future, he quickly opted to swap the Air Force for Politics, where his natural inclination for lying and cheating could be used to full effect.
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