| abstract
| - The Goomba War was the result of Nintendo accepting Internet The Explorer into their games. The reason the war started was because Internet was to replace the goombas in game, and the goombas got pissed, and George W. Bush declared war against the Nintendo foremen. (Note that even though he had nothing to do with the war or the event, he started it because of his strange lust for blood, as first demonstrated when he continued the Iraq War, though this was partially to win a bet with King Singalong.) The Nintendo foremen originally declined the offer for war, but a squadron of goombas broke into Nintendo headquarters and captured 51 Nintendo officers including Shigeru Miyamoto. Nintendo, outraged at this, sent a cruise ship filled with Nintendo officers, triggering an ambush. This was when the war started. It was the shortest war as it lasted from June 6, 1606, 5:00 AM, to June 6, 1606, 6:00 AM, spanning exactly an hour long. 21 minutes into the war, however, Kangaroo Jack appeared and told everyone to stop the fighting, but a Nintendo foreman shot him in the head for no apparent reason and continued the war, despite originally not wanting to fight. Finally, Nintendo ceased the fighting, saying that they were sick in living in the fear of losing too many members, and the goombas absolutely refused. However, a goomba rookie appeared before the captain, bearing the news that Internet The Explorer was shot and killed by a stray bullet (which was not the case, as it was just a Nintendo enforcer who looked exactly like Internet that was killed.) The fighting then stopped when Nintendo kicked Internet out. However, the conclusion was not pretty as many people met their fate within that hour. However, Shigeru Miyamoto was still alive, thankfully for Nintendo. Note: Later, when the rookies report for the goombas was revealed to be an accidental fraud, the captain of the goombas ordered his men to hang and gut the rookie. The goombas laughed as they saw this, and laughed even harder when the captain decided to stuff his body with Mario cookies, making the dead body of the 12 thousand-year-old rookie become the laughing stock of the entire goomba community. However, the captain was later revealed to be Dr. Rabbit, one of the Bad people, in disguise. An epic battle ensued when the goombas swarmed and attacked him for this. However, Dr. Rabbit won despite the sheer size of the goombas, and decided to spare the goomba palace, deciding to keep it as a base to contact the other Bad people if they were separated and he had an important report to make.
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