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| - (A very soggy article submitted to Abraham, with ink smeared so badly that it is almost illegible.) Rusting, ancient pipes, overflowing sewers and poor water quality caused tragedy in a local Italian restaurant (Giovanni's Pasta House, 541 Addams Street) when the pipes burst, causing a roof to collapse and injuring two businessmen. The restaurant, long a favorite of Italians, has been in business for six years and was owned by Mr. R. Giovanni. He was unavailable for comment.
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| abstract
| - (A very soggy article submitted to Abraham, with ink smeared so badly that it is almost illegible.) Rusting, ancient pipes, overflowing sewers and poor water quality caused tragedy in a local Italian restaurant (Giovanni's Pasta House, 541 Addams Street) when the pipes burst, causing a roof to collapse and injuring two businessmen. The restaurant, long a favorite of Italians, has been in business for six years and was owned by Mr. R. Giovanni. He was unavailable for comment. An anonymous source demonstrated to this reporter the pipes at fault, so ancient that they crumbled on the impact of a high pressure water burst. Local officials insist that the public is in no danger but citizens are scared. Mrs. Betty Lizano, a neighbor of the pasta restaurant said, "We will all be killed! Our children! Won't someone think of the children?" and has started a petition to force officials to update the plumbing, some of which dates back to the first buildings in the region. Rumors of mysterious forces at work have been adamantly denied by officials, but this reporter will continue to investigate probable Illuminati influences.
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