About: Robert Cornhole

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One day while Cornhole and Thomas Priestly, future inventor of air, were getting high on low grade methamphetamine, Cornhole came up with a novel idea for the start of digestion of food. In addition to his bravery and fortitude in founding our Nation, he was also a scientist and inventor. His first widely popular invention was teeth, which he first crafted from the tusks of the North American hippopotamus, and one set is particularly famous for being worn by George Washington. The hippopotamus is currently extinct due to the great demand for Cornhole's teeth, abnormal obesity, and only being able to successfully copulate every 50 years.

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rdfs:label	Robert Cornhole
rdfs:comment	One day while Cornhole and Thomas Priestly, future inventor of air, were getting high on low grade methamphetamine, Cornhole came up with a novel idea for the start of digestion of food. In addition to his bravery and fortitude in founding our Nation, he was also a scientist and inventor. His first widely popular invention was teeth, which he first crafted from the tusks of the North American hippopotamus, and one set is particularly famous for being worn by George Washington. The hippopotamus is currently extinct due to the great demand for Cornhole's teeth, abnormal obesity, and only being able to successfully copulate every 50 years.
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abstract	One day while Cornhole and Thomas Priestly, future inventor of air, were getting high on low grade methamphetamine, Cornhole came up with a novel idea for the start of digestion of food. In addition to his bravery and fortitude in founding our Nation, he was also a scientist and inventor. His first widely popular invention was teeth, which he first crafted from the tusks of the North American hippopotamus, and one set is particularly famous for being worn by George Washington. The hippopotamus is currently extinct due to the great demand for Cornhole's teeth, abnormal obesity, and only being able to successfully copulate every 50 years. Cornhole's invention and American's increased digestive prowess led to a massive decline in the American porridge industry, a major power in colonial America up until this point. Upon the invention, nearly all porridge manufacturers moved their business back across the Atlantic into Great Britain, where they flourished, as teeth had not yet found their way to the island. In a preemptive strike against further loss of business, the porridgers plotted to sabotage the import of colonial teeth by collaborating with pirates (Side note: up to this point in history, the traditional pirate flag was called simply the "roger", since without teeth it was impossible to tell whether or not the skull was smiling). The buccaneers were commissioned to attack the British tooth importation fleet and sink them, ensuring that the teeth would never reach England. However, during the attack, one ship, the HMS Truthiness was merely crippled and left for dead by the pirate hoards. The remainder of the damaged shipment of teeth was eventually rowed to shore several days afterwards on the Isle of Wight near Portsmouth. The defective teeth (believed to be intact by the British, who of course had never had contact with them) were reverse-engineered by British entrepreneurs. These defective teeth were the only ones available in the British empire, and are officially recognized as the genesis of all British dental woes, the effects of which are still easily visible on the island today.

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