Contents
| - :Lois: Peter, we have people coming over and they're expecting a turkey!
:Peter: If they're expecting a turkey, I'll just put on Evan Almighty! Zap!
----
:Lois: Chris are Brian and your father back yet?
:Chris: No, and why are you saying the dog's name before Dad's?
:Stewie: It's weird. Y...yeah, you're right, that is weird.
----
:[Lois and Joe watch Kevin and his little person girlfriend have sex outside]
:Lois: Oh, my God, it looks like he's chalking up a pool cue!
----
:Peter: We'll be back with a turkey faster than you can say, "Jack Robinson."
:Lois: Jack Ro... [Slurs] Jack Ro... [Slurs]
:Peter: She had a stroke that killed the part of her brain that says, "Jack Robinson." We got plenty of time.
----
:["Meet Virginia" by Train plays on the radio]
:Peter: Is this...is this fine?
:Brian: I mean it's not...it's...yeah, it's fine if you think it's fine.
:Peter: It's not that good of a song, but we know it.
:Brian: Yeah, ok. Sure.
:[Brief silence]
:Peter: Brian, I love Train!
:Brian: I fucking love Train!
----
:Brian: Nice Thanksgiving... I don't know why I ever listen to that jerk.
:[Brian looks over his shoulder and sees that Peter is following him]
:Peter: What? Home is this way. We're both just walking home.
:Brian: Leave me alone!
:Peter: No way. We're a team, Brian, whether you like it or not. Just like almond butter and no sugar added fruit preserves.
:[Cutaway of a commercial where a mother makes her kids lunch]
:Mother: Who's hungry?
:Kids: We are!
:Announcer: Hey, kids! Would you like a terrible healthy sandwich?
:Kids: No!
:Announcer: Too bad! Because your recently divorced mom has a crush on her trainer! And he eats like this, so now you have to, too! Almond butter and no sugar added fruit preserves! Just like PB&J, but with more of your mom railing this guy!
:Trainer: I named myself "Kaya".
----
:Peter: I wish you didn't have to die, but a bunch of white people put on sweaters.
----
|