abstract
| - Most operas in Richard Wagner's days began with an overture. Wagner, however, boldly refused to call the overture an overture. He instead called it an Einleitung. This was a brave and very effective move that made a lasting impression on the audience, even though the word Einleitung is total, complete gibberish. The Einleitung itself clearly reflected the nature of opera in general: very long and very boring. This often led to people walking out right in the middle of the opera. Consequently, few people know the story of the opera. "Lies!!" ~ The People of Germany Particularly noteworthy are the length, breadth and depth of the opera, its unprecedented dimensions making it not so much a musical drama as a proto-Cubist structure, which can be used as a coffin for those members of the audience or, indeed, cast, whom it drives mad or to death. The opera is comprised of three acts, each of which are as long as an average Italian opera, and of less musical interest. Wagnerian fanatics believe that this is an extraordinary achievement, and a testament to the ambition of the great composer. Wagner's detractors, on the other hand, believe that, since very little happens in each act, Wagner's ambition falls decidedly flat on its face, even flatter than the last note of GOTTERDAMMERUNG. The unifying philosophical idea of the opera is a confusion between sex and death. Tristan and Isolde love each other so much that they want to die (a sentiment shared by the audience), and tell each other this for an entire act, punctuated only by orgasmic screeching and which terminates in a coitus interruptus. In one notable scene in the third act, Tristan demonstrates his love for Isolde by tearing open his wound and spurting blood all over the stage, much to the audience's horror. This reveals far more about Richard Wagner than it does about Tristan and Isolde. Wagner was, in fact, the first notable emo.
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