abstract
| - The Warden of Bargate Prison is known only for his horrible poetry, which he forces the winner of a footrace to listen to. His poetry is mainly written for Lady Grey, although Lady Grey doesn't like any of it. He resides in Bargate Prison, and you have to steal the keys from his office while he reads you poetry. He looks identical to 5th Regiment Guards. The Warden is a poet at heart, and when not running Bargate Administration or inflicting torture, he spends his time composing poetry. These poems can be heard by the Hero during each trip to the Warden's Office. The Cautionary Song of the Jailbird Behold, the ball, the spirited sparrowAs it doth fly above our dreary jailNone can harm it, not even an arrowAnd should you try, You would surely failIts tail does bore forth from its beakHow once it was imprisoned inside of a cageNow tis one with the clouds, so to speakTwas turned to vapour by an angry mageOh, spritely sparrow, dearest of all birdsOh, that you were behind bars againIf only you had heeded my watchful words. Lady Grey Grey, is the prettiest colourOh, Grey, is the prettiest colourFor it’s in her name, her eyes,And her soulShe makes me feel ten feet tallerTo see her, is to lose controlShe lives in the North side among rainbowsAnd I look at her from dead, scummy slumsHer suitors, are always the same onesHer presence afflicts them, with the runsShe's the Mayoress of my kingdomI worship her all night and all dayMy words are true, and I bring them! An Ode to Torment No lilacs blooming in the orchid, on a cool autumn’s dayCan compare to inflicting some torture! With pincers from a trayNo roses out in the sun, or dripping with rainCan equal the joy that fills one, when delivering painScalpels, pokers and forks, can rend, sever and hackBut nothing produces such songs, as those upon the rack!
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