| rdfs:comment
| - The Grand Canyon is the 1st level in Alternate Earth. In this level, based off the awe-inspiring Arizona landmark, you start at the bottom of the canyon and climb your way up to the top using a series of ropes, platforms and springs. As with most levels of this nature, it's easy to slip up and fall down to the bottom. Birdo can be fought just before the end of the level, but in a rare instance, the player can just as easily skip past her and reach the exit.
- Have you ever seen a picture of the Grand Canyon? I have. My grandmother sent me a postcard from Arizona with a picture of the Grand Canyon on it. If the Grand Canyon was truly as big as many claim it to be, then there's no way it'd be able to fit on a 6 x 8 postcard from my grandmother.
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| abstract
| - Have you ever seen a picture of the Grand Canyon? I have. My grandmother sent me a postcard from Arizona with a picture of the Grand Canyon on it. If the Grand Canyon was truly as big as many claim it to be, then there's no way it'd be able to fit on a 6 x 8 postcard from my grandmother. Okay, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "But I've been there, and it's fucking massive!" No it's not. Now you're thinking, "Yes it is!" Look, I've been to the Grand Canyon as well. The tour guide told me that the Grand Canyon is over four miles wide or something. Now, I'm no measuring tape, but I'm pretty sure four miles is not that great of a distance. Wilt Chamberlain could jump four miles in a single bound, even after making love to twenty-seven women and two trannys in the locker room, and he proved that at the 1971 Slamfest in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. My car can do four miles in under four minutes. If the Grand Canyon was really "grand", could a car drive across it in under four minutes? Now, we also have to consider depth, because when it comes to holes, it's all about how much of nothing is in them. The Grand Canyon is a mile deep (nothing Wilt Chamberlain couldn't jump) and you could, admittedly, fit a whole lot of nothing in that. But is it really a big enough chasm to be deemed "grand"? I think not. For example, I once stuck my dick in the Grand Canyon when I was a curious teenage boy. I hate to say it, but my first sexual experience was with the Grand Canyon. I remember only two things from that event: 1. These cacti don't hurt that bad, and 2. I should've brought more lube because the Grand Canyon is really tight. The Grand Canyon was so tight that I came in under a minute. Not my fault, it was the Grand Canyon's. And I think that's a great metaphor for life.
- The Grand Canyon is the 1st level in Alternate Earth. In this level, based off the awe-inspiring Arizona landmark, you start at the bottom of the canyon and climb your way up to the top using a series of ropes, platforms and springs. As with most levels of this nature, it's easy to slip up and fall down to the bottom. Birdo can be fought just before the end of the level, but in a rare instance, the player can just as easily skip past her and reach the exit.
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