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| - Dirk Kuyt (born 22 July 1980) is a Dutch footballer who played for Liverpool as a winger and striker from 2006 to 2012, before leaving for Fenerbahce, for a fee of £800,000.
- thumb|200px|Uśmiech, tak zwany, pozowany Dirk Kuyt (ur. 22 lutego 1980) – holenderski piłkarz, grający na pozycji napastnika. Zawodnik, którego nazwiska żaden z komentatorów polskich nie jest w stanie wymówić. Do dziś żaden Polak prócz Smolarka nie wie, jak naprawdę to nazwisko brzmi. Oto niektóre próby wymówienia Kuyt przez polskich komentatorów sportowych: Kał, Kałt, Kant, Kyjt, Kełt, Kent, Kijt, Kłyt, Kojt, Kujt, Kut, Kynt, Kajt, Kejt, Kyt, Kłit, a nawet Hujt. W komentarzu angielskiej Fify 2008 można usłyszeć też wersję Kłicz. Aktualnie pogrywa dla niejakiego Fenerbahce Istanbuł oraz dla Holandii. Ani z jednym, ani z drugim nic nie wygrał. Wcześniej grał dla Liverpool FC.
- Dirk Kuyt (born 22 July 1980) is a Dutch footballer who plays for Feyenoord as a forward. In April 2015, Kuyt signed a one-year contract to rejoin his former club Feyenoord for the 2015–16 season. Kuyt began his professional career with FC Utrecht in 1998 and quickly became part of their first team. He spent five years at the club and in his final season he won his first senior honour, the KNVB Cup, and was chosen as the season's Dutch Golden Shoe Winner. Following this, he left Utrecht in a €1 million transfer to Feyenoord. He became the club captain in 2005 and was a prolific goalscorer at the Rotterdam club; he was the club's top scorer for three consecutive seasons, the top goalscorer in the 2004–05 Eredivisie season, and the 2005–06 Dutch Footballer of the Year. Kuyt missed only five
- Dirk originally played for dutch club Feyenoord, but in 2006 he understandably wanted leave a country with unlimited hookers and bud, with its slightly better weather, for the north west of England, where it drizzles 894 days a year, and there is not unlimited bud, but still unlimited hookers, all be it a bit more dutty. Dirk chose a city where its residents have whistles lodged in their throats as babies, and where they will steal anything which isn't nailed down, along with 97% of the stuff that is. On arriving at Liverpool FC, Dirk had to endure a spell under the massive cunt that is Rafa Benitez. Benitez actually won the official prize of "Most Cuntish man of the year" in 2K6, 2K7, 2K8, 2K9 and 2K11 (he failed to win in 2K10 because Nick Clegg came to public attention.) After enduring
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| abstract
| - Dirk Kuyt (born 22 July 1980) is a Dutch footballer who played for Liverpool as a winger and striker from 2006 to 2012, before leaving for Fenerbahce, for a fee of £800,000.
- thumb|200px|Uśmiech, tak zwany, pozowany Dirk Kuyt (ur. 22 lutego 1980) – holenderski piłkarz, grający na pozycji napastnika. Zawodnik, którego nazwiska żaden z komentatorów polskich nie jest w stanie wymówić. Do dziś żaden Polak prócz Smolarka nie wie, jak naprawdę to nazwisko brzmi. Oto niektóre próby wymówienia Kuyt przez polskich komentatorów sportowych: Kał, Kałt, Kant, Kyjt, Kełt, Kent, Kijt, Kłyt, Kojt, Kujt, Kut, Kynt, Kajt, Kejt, Kyt, Kłit, a nawet Hujt. W komentarzu angielskiej Fify 2008 można usłyszeć też wersję Kłicz. Aktualnie pogrywa dla niejakiego Fenerbahce Istanbuł oraz dla Holandii. Ani z jednym, ani z drugim nic nie wygrał. Wcześniej grał dla Liverpool FC.
- Dirk Kuyt (born 22 July 1980) is a Dutch footballer who plays for Feyenoord as a forward. In April 2015, Kuyt signed a one-year contract to rejoin his former club Feyenoord for the 2015–16 season. Kuyt began his professional career with FC Utrecht in 1998 and quickly became part of their first team. He spent five years at the club and in his final season he won his first senior honour, the KNVB Cup, and was chosen as the season's Dutch Golden Shoe Winner. Following this, he left Utrecht in a €1 million transfer to Feyenoord. He became the club captain in 2005 and was a prolific goalscorer at the Rotterdam club; he was the club's top scorer for three consecutive seasons, the top goalscorer in the 2004–05 Eredivisie season, and the 2005–06 Dutch Footballer of the Year. Kuyt missed only five games over seven seasons from 1999 until 2006 and appeared in 179 consecutive matches between 2001–06, striking up a fruitful partnership with fellow Feyenoord teammate Salomon Kalou. He left Feyenoord after three years, having scored 71 league goals in 101 appearances, and joined Premier League side Liverpool for £10 million. He made his Premier League debut late in 2006 and became part of the first team squad. He scored in his first ever UEFA Champions League final with Liverpool against AC Milan. Kuyt scored several important goals for Liverpool elsewhere, including seven goals in the 2007–08 Champions League, including a goal in the quarter-final against Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium and in the semi-final against Chelsea, and two penalty kicks against Everton in the derby the same season. He scored his first hat-trick for Liverpool against Manchester United in March 2011. After coming on as a substitute, his extra time goal at Wembley for Liverpool against Cardiff City in the 2012 League Cup Final helped win the trophy for Liverpool, and was also his only trophy as a Liverpool player. He made his international debut in 2004 and has represented the Netherlands at five major international tournaments, the 2006, 2010 and 2014 FIFA World Cups and the 2008 and 2012 UEFA European Championships.
- Dirk originally played for dutch club Feyenoord, but in 2006 he understandably wanted leave a country with unlimited hookers and bud, with its slightly better weather, for the north west of England, where it drizzles 894 days a year, and there is not unlimited bud, but still unlimited hookers, all be it a bit more dutty. Dirk chose a city where its residents have whistles lodged in their throats as babies, and where they will steal anything which isn't nailed down, along with 97% of the stuff that is. On arriving at Liverpool FC, Dirk had to endure a spell under the massive cunt that is Rafa Benitez. Benitez actually won the official prize of "Most Cuntish man of the year" in 2K6, 2K7, 2K8, 2K9 and 2K11 (he failed to win in 2K10 because Nick Clegg came to public attention.) After enduring this spell Kuyt became a fan favourite at the Anfield club, mainly because his first name was Dirk, which amused their tiny minds. Kuyt is well known for being a porn star. In 2005 it was reported that he had an 18569 inch penis, which he uses to full affect. Although it was thought that no doubt could be cast over his sexuality, after he bonked 1.7million girls in a fortnight, falling into a viagra induced coma for 49 days, Dirk did reportedly have an awkward three-some with fellow team mate Pepe Reina, and Adrian Chiles. This was alleged to have taken place in the Saudi Arabian Alps during a skiing trip, although it is unclear whether the three-some took place whilst actually skiing, or who went in the middle. When asked to comment on what happened, Dirk said, "I'm too much man for 1.7M women, and also I was fucked off my tits on drugs". When the interviewers looked shocked at these revelations, Dirk pointed out "Well, I am Dutch." In 2007, Kuyt released a charity single to raise money for the release of Nelson Mandella, despite the fact he was released in 1990, although there was outrage when it was reported that some of the money had been spent on an English speech therapist for Steven Gerrard. The single was a cover BBK's massive hit "too many man" and sold 8billion copies in Stoke-on-Trent alone, however it was changed to "too many gals" and featured John Terry and Skepta, who spectacularly "whited up". "Too many gals" won the brit award for best international single, and rightly beat off the shit opposition of Baby by Justin Beiber (cunt). There was shock when Dirk went up onto the stage to collect his award, baked off his face with his18569 inch penis hanging out, he justified this by saying "Well, I am Dutch." Dirk was questioned by police after the awards ceremony when he was accused of accidentily strangling 18 people with his penis on the way up to collect the award, he was released with a caution. - Rolling himself a massive dooby - "Gardening" - Hookers and Hoe's - Wiping white powder off credit cards - Picking mushrooms, magic or otherwise - Getting absolutely fucked off his tits on drugs - Stamp collecting
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