Barbie was originally conceived in 1959 by former Nazi doctors now working for NASA for the less known "mind race" against the Soviet Union. The original idea was that since under Stalin's regime, the people were oppressed, the Barbie doll's flawless physique (her original design had breasts proportionately equal to 36L) would mind control via hypnosis from launching anything until after the staging of the Apollo 11 landing. This secret project was outsourced to Mattel, who simultaneously produced it in the USA as Barbie. The Russian model was given no name only a citizen identification number, and those found masturbating to it were promptly shot by Big Brother. In 1971 Nixon resurrected the plan to draw the public into a state of unaware shallowness and allow him to not be a crook. Howev
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