About: Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Awesome Man   Sponge Permalink

An Entity of Type : owl:Thing, within Data Space : 134.155.108.49:8890 associated with source dataset(s)

Alright, Senor Awesome, here are my critiques: Quotes 1+2 = lose 'em. The third one is awesome. Your sections need to be fleshed out farther. This article does contain a really interesting concept though; a contributor creating an article about one's self to try to make themselves look cooler than they actually are (evident in the intro's last sentences). I think if you continued under that idea, there would be great potential for funny. Do some work detailing your current sections, and maybe add a few other ones. A list of super powers is fine, but if there isn't sufficient material to balance, it just looks like a way to pad out a short piece. Unlike some editors, I enjoy a well crafted short article, but this one isn't there just yet.

AttributesValues
rdfs:label
  • Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Awesome Man
rdfs:comment
  • Alright, Senor Awesome, here are my critiques: Quotes 1+2 = lose 'em. The third one is awesome. Your sections need to be fleshed out farther. This article does contain a really interesting concept though; a contributor creating an article about one's self to try to make themselves look cooler than they actually are (evident in the intro's last sentences). I think if you continued under that idea, there would be great potential for funny. Do some work detailing your current sections, and maybe add a few other ones. A list of super powers is fine, but if there isn't sufficient material to balance, it just looks like a way to pad out a short piece. Unlike some editors, I enjoy a well crafted short article, but this one isn't there just yet.
dcterms:subject
Mcomment
  • Because you're trying, and I think it could be very funny sometime soon.
Pcomment
  • Better than a number of articles housed here, but needs upgrades.
Icomment
  • Awesome Man is neither The Flash nor Major Victory. It only sorta makes sense.
Pscore
  • 6(xsd:integer)
Ccomment
  • Superfluous, but could be something very funny.
Cscore
  • 6(xsd:integer)
Mscore
  • 8(xsd:integer)
Hcomment
  • Its getting there..
Iscore
  • 4(xsd:integer)
Hscore
  • 5(xsd:integer)
Fcomment
  • See Endnotes.
dbkwik:uncyclopedi...iPageUsesTemplate
Signature
  • --06-13
abstract
  • Alright, Senor Awesome, here are my critiques: Quotes 1+2 = lose 'em. The third one is awesome. Your sections need to be fleshed out farther. This article does contain a really interesting concept though; a contributor creating an article about one's self to try to make themselves look cooler than they actually are (evident in the intro's last sentences). I think if you continued under that idea, there would be great potential for funny. Do some work detailing your current sections, and maybe add a few other ones. A list of super powers is fine, but if there isn't sufficient material to balance, it just looks like a way to pad out a short piece. Unlike some editors, I enjoy a well crafted short article, but this one isn't there just yet. I like the tie-in with Who Wants to Be a Superhero?, but you can't really throw that curveball as the article's conclusion. Either integrate it into the storyline or discard. Over all, I think it needs to be tightened up and expanded. Perhaps adding detail will push the humor forward a bit. Keep at it!! :) -- 22:04, 13 June 2007 (UTC)
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