| abstract
| - ❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅❄❅ — Nickelback, Far Away SCREAMS. The sounds of paws pounding the floor. The dull thud of bodies. The grinding and crunching noises of fighting. It's this kind of bloody inferno that greets my ears, then my eyes, as I regain consciousness. I have no idea where I am. I raise my head, ignoring the blazing knot of pain at the top of my skull. Someone has tucked me behind a piece of rock. And I'm not alone. I look down and see a limp form at my paws. My heart leaps into my throat. "Farrah," I moan in pain, bending down and squinting to make out the she-cat's condition. She's covered in dried blood, her fur spiky with it. Torn flesh glistens at her belly. Her breathing is shallow. I have to yank myself away so my tears don't fall on her. This is all my fault. All my fault. We've obviously been kept here for safekeeping. I peek around the side of the rock that shields us and take in the commotion outside. If we weren't at war before, we are now. The Snow Guard cats and Triad cats battling each other in the main hall are fighting to kill. I spot my friends at the thick of it all. Jett is desperately trying to wrestle Sasha from the grasp of a much larger Guard tom. Calder is fighting with a manic energy, and I know the reason for his bloodlust is lying lifelessly at my feet. Even Eider is there. I hear her scream, "This is for my sister!" and see Diana hit the ground. Then I see Lucifer. His white pelt has turned a hue of rosy pink and is clumped with blood. His blue eyes flash like a blizzard sky as he deals out deathly blows. I have never wanted to be near him so badly. I want to run across the battlefield and just be with him. But I can't leave Farrah-- Then something else changes my mind about leaving. Eider breaks away from the group to chase Diana, who is dragging herself away. "Don't walk away from me!" she screams. "You hurt my sister! She could die because of you! Because you're a coward and a snake!" I see her glide in behind Eider like a wisp of silver smoke. None of the others notice, not even Lucifer; they're all too busy trying to stay alive in their own fights. I'll never make it in time, but I throw myself out from my hiding place. The scream of warning building in my throat turns into a scream of pain. "Eider, NO!" Eider looks at me in surprise. Her eyes travel down to the claws embedded in her chest. Her little body gives a jerk as Greer retracts her claws, and she tumbles forward. A thin stream of blood dribbles down her chin. I'm skidding on blood and bits of claw and flesh and stars-know-what-else, but I don't care what kind of carnage I'm stepping on. I reach Eider and cup my paw behind her head. "Shh," I say; her body is shaking as her mouth opens and closes wordlessy. "Don't say anything, save your strength." "P-Plover," she stammers, her eyes wide with fear. "I'll take care of her." I'm crying silently, rivers of tears running down my cheeks. I can't stop them from falling on Eider because I can't let go of her. "L-love her. Love you all." The light dies in her eyes, and she goes limp against me. Someone touches my shoulder, and I fold into Lucifer like I'm a cripple incapable of supporting my own weight. I pound my little paws against his chest and scream, "This isn't fair! We saved her on the mountain! We protected her! We tried so hard -- for nothing!" "I know." His voice is choked. "I know. It's not fair." "I hate everything! I don't even want to live!" I crumple over. "It's over," I whisper to the scarlet ground. "I don't care anymore." I'm falling apart. Completely. All my seams and hinges are bursting. I will not be a star, mother: I am a supernova. I am melting, burning, dying in a wreath of red and white. At least I'm not dying quietly. I'm dying loudly, like a neverending scream. "Everly!" Lucifer shouts in my ear. "You cannot die on me!" He shakes me, hard. "You can't give up! I will not let you!" "You're not the boss of me." I stick my lower lip out defiantly. "I need you." He presses his forehead to mine, so his blue eyes are all I can see. Lucifer, you are are my sky, I think, absurdly, and even more absurdly, almost say out loud. Now is not the right time, place, or lifetime for my foolish sentimentality. "You're the only one who can help me fight wolves." Wait, what? What happened to "I need you, I love you"? "Well, that's romantic," I say without thinking. "What?" "What?" I repeat quickly. "Are you serious?" Lucifer nods. "DiAngelo's here. And Greer gave him asara." "Is she insane?" "Yes." "What happens to a wolf on asara?" "He's in the training cavern right now," Lucifer says grimly. "Why isn't he in here, slaughtering all these cats who are too stupid to realize they should stop fighting and get out of here?" "He's feeding," says Lucifer. I feel bile rise in my throat. "Anyone we know . . .?" "I don't know. They're all unrecognizable now." I stare down at Eider's body. "I almost feel relieved she died by Greer's paw, not . . . that way. It's so sick," I say, horrified. "We can't leave her for DiAngelo to . . . to have." "That's not the plan. We're staying here." "Here? In the peak?" "Yes. We're getting read of DiAngelo first. Then we offer the Guard one last chance to stay here, where it's safe. Otherwise, we drive them out." I don't recognize the Lucifer I see now. Though his words are harsh and solemn, he's not the cold-blooded assassin I first met, but he's not my slightly goofy best friend either. He's a soldier, a commander. "How are we going to kill DiAngelo?" "Not kill. That's not possible. Not yet," says Lucifer. "But I have a plan. Come on." I follow him towards the training cavern, but something else catches my attention as I glance over my shoulder. It's Greer, locked in combat with Jett. "Keep going," I say hurriedly to Lucifer, and I race over to Jett. I shove Greer and manage to buy Jett enough time to gain freedom, but Greer tears towards the exit and doesn't look back. I want to chase after her immediately, but I hesitate. "Are you okay?" Sasha appears at Jett's side, breathless, eyes sparkling with worry. "I'm sorry -- I was trying to fight that she-cat over there--" "It's fine," Jett interrupts her, his gaze raking over her carefully. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" "I'm all right." "Eider is dead," I blurt. Both of them whip their heads around to stare at me in shock. Jett says, "Eider? But she was with Plover -- she stayed--" "No. She came to avenge her sister. Greer killed her." My words are blunt, like falling boulders. Hit 'em quick, run the other way so you don't see the wreckage left behind. Sasha lets out a whimper of shock and staggers wildly, unhinged; Jett presses his shoulder to hers to support her. "No," he says, begging me with his eyes to take it back, to say it's some kind of cracked joke. I don't answer his silent plea. "I'm going after Greer," I say. "Would you do me a favor? Kill Diana." I run out of the peak and scan the mountain. Greer is nowhere to be seen, but it doesn't take me long to pick up her trail, marked by scent as well as pawprints, misplaced rocks -- all the marks of a hasty getaway. She hasn't bothered to cover her tracks. Did she assume all her most ardent opposers were too occupied to follow her? Or does she not care anymore? For a second, I'm filled with fear for Lucifer and the others. I've left them behind in the peak with DiAngelo. But you have to do this first. Until Greer is gone, the schemes will never stop. We'll always have to be on our guard. I scramble down the side of the mountain. It's a lot easier than it used to be; my paws find holds and climbing spots naturally, and my pads are toughened, impervious to the countless scrapes I used to get. I still have a splitting headache, but the cold and exhaustion have numbed the rest of me so much that I barely feel any other wounds. I'll pay for all of this later; I can already tell my muscles are going to be in agony when I next wake up, but for now, my battered body is determined to work for me. I've been walking for a while when I spot a flash of silver up ahead. Greer is waiting at the same tributary of the River Thorn where I first met Lucifer. She is crouched under a beached glacier, the ice frozen in the shape of a wave above her head. She knows I'm there. She raises her head, water dripping down her chin, and our eyes meet. "I thought it would be Lucifer who'd come after me," she says, her voice carrying its usual mocking lilt. "I couldn't let him." "Let him what? Kill for revenge? Destroy his soul? Some other pathetic dribble like that? Oh, I forgot, Everly. You're a sweet angel. If you kill me, it'll be for the right reasons." "No," I say simply. "I just want to be the one to watch you die." "How touching. I suppose it's a kind of poetic justice that I shall watch you die instead." She slams her paws into the ground, and the sheet of ice I'm standing on slips down the riverbank, carrying me straight into her claws. I lash out with my paws, blocking her blows, but my eyes are focused on a piece of wood sticking out of the snow about a tail-length away. It's tapered on either end. It would make a really good sled. I have to end this quickly. I don't really stand a chance against Greer in one-on-one combat on a good day. With my head-wound and other injuries, I probably have seconds to live. Using all the force I can muster, I crush Greer against the glacier. While she regains her bearings, I seize the piece of wood in my jaws and scramble to the top of the glacier. I jam one end of the wood into the ice and leap at it, driving it down with my weight. There is an earsplitting crack as the better half of the glacier breaks off and comes crashing down on Greer's head. A chunk of ice falls against my leg, pinning me in an awkward position, trapping me in the wreckage of the glacier. It takes me several minutes to free myself, and my leg is numb with cold and frosty with ice by the end of it. Panting and huffing, I scramble down the pile of broken ice. Greer is barely visible; the force of the collapse knocked her aside; I can see the groves in the snow where she slid on her side. Her green eyes are open -- my heart stops for a second. Then I see the glazed look on her face. She's alive -- barely. She tries to say something as I approach. "Pff... ee..." We've gone through so much to stop this murderous she-cat. Yet even I can't deny that there is something almost merciful about it when I sink my claws into her throat and finally end it. "Everly!" I don't know how much time passes between Greer's death and Lucifer's arrival. The white tom skids to a halt, staring down at her body in disbelief. "You -- you killed her." I glance down at my paws, which are still covered in blood, and start shaking explosively. Gently, Lucifer guides me down to the river and washes my paws, then my pelt. With intense tenderness, he licks my wounds clean and lends me his warmth to heal the icy water's residual chill. It's a while before I can speak, and my voice is squeaky and unsteady. "D-DiAngelo?" "A trail of asara. That was my plan. We were in no state to try to take him on." "What happened to the Guard?" "We imprisoned them in the training room for now. Once everyone is fit to walk, they'll have a choice: they can join our cause, or leave. When I tell them Greer's dead, I'm hoping they'll surrender. But they might try to avenge her, so we can't tell them yet. We aren't in any state to handle another fight." "You're good at war," I mumble. "You're a good leader." "So are you. A real leader gives their cats something to fight for," he says, smiling down at me. That smile is the most incredible thing I've ever seen: a revelation, one that reminds me that there is still joy and love left in this dark world. "Thanks for not letting me give up." For reminding me, simply with your presence, that giving up means giving you up. That's the one thing I can never do. I can handle almost anything else. Almost. "I can't believe Eider is gone," I whisper. "Are the others okay? Is Farrah--" Everything in me is blazing with pain for Eider. I don't know what will happen to me if Lucifer says anyone else is dead -- will I simply crack into a million pieces, like the glacier I shattered? "Miko is taking care of Farrah. She's still clinging to life, but it's going to be an uphill battle. Plover is helping Miko. I think she's still in shock." Plover. I will keep my promise to Eider; I will take care of her sister as if she were my own blood, my baby sister or my daughter. "The rest of our group is injured, but they'll live. There have been other casualties, though. Lots of them." Lucifer's face is drawn and pinched, and I understand. There will be no celebration back at the peak. Greer is dead, but so are countless others. I will be walking back into a funeral home, full of broken cats who have witnessed unthinkable horrors. "We'll find a way to get them through this," I promise Lucifer. "And we'll get through it ourselves." "Thank you," he says. Together, we begin the trek up the mountain, towards whatever new beginning we find it in us to build. This was never about the Guard versus the Clans. This is about keeping the cats of the mountain safe. DiAngelo still threatens that. The war isn't over. Not yet.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)