| abstract
| - Kiev, Ukraine In north central Ukraine, built on the steep bluffs overlooking the Dnieper River, the city of Kiev is known for its electronics, aviation, and chemical industries. It is even better known for being 50 miles downstream from the infamous Chernobyl nuclear power station, the effects of which linger to this day in the chronic health problems of its citizens. The most important center for research and education in Ukraine, it is the site of the Ukrainian Academy of the Sciences and other universities, as well as theatres, museums, and concert halls. In contrast to the high-tech industries housed here are the magnificent, centuries-old cathedrals and monasteries such as the ancient Cathedral of Saint Sophia with its exquisite frescoes, the huge Kyevo-Pecherska Lavra (Monastery of the Caves) complete with extensive catacombs, and the baroque-style Church of Saint Andrew. The green and purple M1A3 Abrams Main Battle Tank that is Maruader, pulls into the designated arena, his tank treads easily moving through the wooded forest as he approaches Chernobyl, not that it's recognisable these days. Fifty years of nature, combined with zero maintainance, have left the site of the nuclear disaster quite lovely. Transforming, Marauder rises to his feet, and surveys the area, "And to think, this beautiful forest glade was once the site of the Chernobyl Nuclear Disaster." Blades has finished all of his matches the same way: unconscious. However, for /judging/ this match, he's quite awake and aware. The beauty of the nature around him does not really strike him the way it might Groove. Green is just... not Blades's colour. He calls out, "Green and purple? What kind of camouflage is that? Do you just hide behind Devastator and hope no one notices you?" Repugnus grins too happily at Marauder as he shows his face. "Yeah, I know, isn't it great? It's all irradiated and rotting and nasty... best place on Earth! I bet there's all kinds of WEIRD mutated animals in here, too! Maybe even mutated HUMANS..." He looks between Blades and Marauder. "HA! He just BURNED you!" "Derweze's pretty neat, too, but it kind of makes Hot Spot twitchy," Blades comments, on the topic of radical travel spots, "And don't get me started on Centralia." He pulls out some dice he may have swiped from the Swordfish casino. "Snake eyes, anyone?" Repugnus laughs. "Ha! That's my favorite ninja, how did you know?" GAME: Blades rolls a (6)-sided die: ROLL: Repugnus rolled a 6 ROLL: Marauder rolled a 3 Triggerhappy thinks the Olypmics are a complete waste of time, but hey, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot else to do thanks to that slagging truce. So why not take the opportunity to hurl insults at some Autobots (who had better hope the maniacal Decepticon can supress his relentless urge to shoot someone with an Autobot badge for the duration of the match)? Doesn't beat shooting them to slag, but it's sure better than sitting on your hand servos back at base. He descends from the stratosphere, not really minding the nuclear wasteland of a landscape. He sits down to watch, grinning madly. "Have fun getting your aft pulverized, Autombum!" he calls out. Marauder gives Repugnus a mildly dissatisfied blank stare, before he nods his head out of respect for the judicial position, if not the current occupant. He begins reciting some nearly forgotten oath, "I, Marauder, stand ready to endure metal burn, mesh wounds, be bound, beaten, and killed by the sword, and do so for the greater glory of Galvatron and the Cybertronian Empire." "Yeah?" Blades asks, when Repugnus declares his favourite ninja. He peers at the result of the dice, cupping them in his hand and rerolling them when they have the gall to come up a pair of threes. "Well, make like that ninja all over Marauder's skidplate. Y'have high roll. One other thing. No ranged weapons. I catch you using any, and I take them away and beat you with them." He stares at Marauder for a moment and then declares, "You are a right piece of work." Repugnus casually flips Triggerhappy off as he S.T.A.L.K.s towards his opponent. "Ha, yeah right, buddy! If it was you I'd shove your partner up your... can I say that on TV? Ah, whatever." He stops just short of Marauder, looking him up and down. "Well, prepare to do some of those things, Marauder, because--" He swings a sucker punch at the Decepticon, then turns to Blades, smirking. "Oh, wait, did you say go? I can never tell with these things! Hahaha, oh, and don't tempt me, Blades!" Combat: Repugnus misses Marauder with his Punch attack! Triggerhappy laughs loudly at Repugnus' comment about Blowpipe, for whatever reason. "Look at him using -human- obscenities! I dunno what it is with you 'Bots, you copy EVERYTHING those fleshies do!" Marauder takes a short step backward, to avoid the punch, his arm moving quickly to extend, grabbing at the fist once it reaches the end of its trajectory, and just before the Autobot begins to withdraw. "I have been prepared since the moment of my creation. What," he asks, knee coming up, flying at the flank of Repugnus' torso, "have you done to prepare?" Combat: Marauder strikes Repugnus with his Kick attack! Combat: Marauder compares his Size to Repugnus's Size: Success! Blades drawls, "So you're saying you haven't changed any since you've been built. Nice to know." He mimes yawning and gives Triggerhappy a squint on general grounds. Gonna try anything, punk? Repugnus catches the knee to the gut, letting out a brief "Oof!" But he seems fine as he just backs off slightly, grinning. "What have I done to prepare? Well... today, I was at the butcher's, slicing heads off of cattle! See, they like me there because my claws are so sharp and I nick the heads off the cows faster than they can blink, and I don't have to sharpen my claws at all! So, I have a lot of practice in cutting off heads, but for now..." He leaps at Marauder, trying to grab onto his face and stretch his cheeks wide. "EHEHEHEHEH! You're a little too stiff, buddy! You need to smile more! SMIIIILE! HAHAHAHAHA!" Combat: Repugnus sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Repugnus strikes Marauder with his Dirty Fighting attack! [Pulled -1] Marauder explains to Blades, "I am Marauder, Cybertronian by birth, Decepticon by choice, and I have endured." Yeah, like that's supposed to explain things, but it's something of a personal mantra. Unfortunately, as he speaks, a hand comes to his face. Marauder's helmet seems to do little to stop it, but the face is open. Instead of fighting the hand, he uses his wingspan to reach for the Autobot's shoulder kibble, trying to turn pick him up by it, so that he can twist the Autobot and drive him, head first, into the dirt. Combat: Marauder strikes Repugnus with his Face full of Chernobyl dirt (Smash) attack! Triggerhappy smirks at Blades. Maybe the Autobot should be careful about the kinds of looks he gives to 'Cons like Triggerhappy. Because he certainly doesn't mind having an excuse to shoot up the Protectobot. "What, not happy your mech isn't winning?" So far, Repugnus has missed once and Marauder hasn't missed at -all-. "Actually, I'm not happy because you're not in a puddle leaking on the floor! But we can't all have what we want, can we?" Blades answers Triggerhappy, way too brightly, his pleasant expression incongruous with his words. "Repugnus can and will handle himself. And lots of other things. Which probably aren't sanitary." Repugnus is slammed into the radioactive dirt, his head partially buried into it! Many Autobots would be mortified by this, but not Repugnus! He starts giggling, the sound muffled by the dirt. It's a horrible sound, the sound of a psychopath who enjoys being a psychopath far too much. Then, Repugnus tries to grab the hand that slammed him into the dirt. "HMHMHMHMHM!" he giggles, head still in the dirt. He grabs a middle finger and tries to yank it back, then another finger, and another... Combat: Repugnus strikes Marauder with his Marauder Got Fingerless attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Marauder's Agility. (Crippled) Marauder lets up from his assault once he hears the sound of giggling. "Autobot, are . . ." that brief glimpse of sportsmanship is quickly punished, as he feels his hand being grabbed, and his digits bent in a way that they were not supposed to be bent. Biting down on his proverbial teeth, he refuses to cry out. But he does begin kicking the upside down Insectibot, and trying to stop on its head. "Let my digits go!" Combat: Marauder strikes Repugnus with his Swift Kick to the Head (Kick) attack! There is probably a reason why Blades was picked to judge this fight. The reason may be that he had the free time. The reason may also be that Blades can watch what Repugnus is doing for an extended period of time without needing to throw up. "URMF!" Repugnus grunts, his head stomped further into the dirt. He kicks his legs about for a moment before he pushes his head out of the ground and transform into Monster mode! "Hehehehehe! NOW WE GET SERIOUS MARAUDER! You can lubricate yourself over your tiny little digits but that's the LEAST of what I'm gonna do to you!" He howls with manic laughter as he slashes at Marauder with his wicked talons. Repugnus twists and flips around into his horrific creature mode! Combat: Bug Creature strikes Marauder with his Shearing Claws attack! [Pulled -2] Marauder takes a step back, as he is presented with perhaps the largest robotic Insect he has ever seen. Leaping back, he avoids one of the claws, but not the other, "You are surprisingly agile in that form." His former wingspan advantage is now negated, and so he decides to try to rush him, putting his shoulder into it, hoping to knock the bug off its feet, so he can figure out a way to rip those appendages off later. Combat: Marauder strikes Bug Creature with his Rush 'em and pray (Ram) attack! Bug Creature just laughs as Marauder tackles him to the ground, the bug flopping over onto his side. But as Marauder runs past, Repugnus swings his foot around, trying to get the claws on his heel into Marauder's ankle. One thing's for certain--fighting Repugnus almost always requires a high tolerance for pain. "Oh, not really, just the arms. Truth be told, I WANT you to hit me! Heeheehee!" Combat: Bug Creature strikes Marauder with his Kick attack! Blades asks, "Hey, you. Deceptichump. Do you /actually/ have a sword, or did that fancy oath mean you were hoping that Repugnus has one?" Triggerhappy smirks as the ugly Monsterbot is knocked over by Marauder. Wow, he's even uglier in his alt form, isn't he? But his attention returns to Blades. "Hahahahha! I like you, Blades!" Triggerhappy cackles, drawing his weapon from subspace and waving it dangerously around. "But who says you can't try, eh?" Marauder bulrushes the monstrous bug, but he trips on the leg, and sees some of the red paint of his inside ankle scratched. Tumbling, he rolls to his feet, and continues moving, pumping his arms as he does. Is he fleeing, has he conceded? Passing the treeline, he continues running yet. When he finds himself amidst the larger trees, untouched by the radiation, or hearty enough to endure it, he transforms his left arm into a cutting tool. After a moment, he has cut it into a Marauder sized caber. Running back, and carrying his newfound weapon, he runs, coming form so far away, picking up so much speed, that when he finally returns, throwing the caber, it flips several times in the air, before landing near, and perhaps on top of the monstrous bug. Combat: Marauder strikes Bug Creature with his Stelio Kontos Caber Toss (Smash) attack! "Ugh, ten points from Hufflepuff for failing to bring an entertaining weapon to the fight," Blades says, disgusted and shaking his head, when Marauder decides to do a caber toss instead of just shanking Repugnus. He looks over at Triggerhappy and comments, "You're going to put someone's optic out. Probably your own. Proceed." Bug Creature had been getting up right when the massive log slams into his chest! However, the Monsterbot merely is forced a few steps back and his chest armor is somewhat dented, but holding. "Heeheehee. Oh, what's wrong, Marauder? Don't wanna get close to me anymore?" He runs after Marauder, talons snapping in and out. "That's just a damn shame, because you can't run, you can't hide, you can't get away--I will catch up to you AND WHEN I DO I WILL BLEEEED YOUUU!!!" Hurling himself up into the air, Repugnus tries to bury his talons in Marauder's shoulders, then wrap his legs around the guy and constantly stab him over and over. And he just won't stop laughing all the while! Combat: Bug Creature strikes Marauder with his Shearing Claws attack! "Oh, come on, Marauder! Hit that ugly-aft glitchead with something better than a -tree-!" Triggerhappy shouts, smirking at Blades. That 'Bot was just scared, no doubt. Marauder evades as best he can, leaping up into the air, but as he begins to ascend, his other foot is caught by the claws of a Monsterbot. Rising in the air, he dives back down, trying to retrieve the discarded caber, and grips it like a club, using it in the same manner as Rory McIlroy. Addressing the Monstrous bug, "You are truly a vile and disgusting creature, " with the Repugnus as the ball, he swings, hoping to at least cause some damage. Combat: Marauder strikes Bug Creature with his Golf club swing (Punch) attack! Triggerhappy heckles more. "Yeah, that's right! Vile and disgusting! In other words, ugly as a halfway eviscerated sparkeater!" He shouts. "In fact, someone ought to rip that ugly face of yours right off!" Bug Creature is spun about by the caber, but not knocked over. His facial plating is cracked but the blow has failed to wipe the grin off his hideous mug. "Yes, I'm vile and ugly, I'll admit it... but when it comes right down to it, it doesn't matter. What does matter, guys... is the pain. I can take it. Go ahead. Rip my face off. I won't care. But will you when I rip YOUR face off? In fact..." He transforms back onto robot mode, trying to grab Marauder's face and pull! "LET'S SEE!" The creature spins and twists about into Repugnus's robot mode! Combat: Repugnus strikes Marauder with his Dirty Fighting attack! [Pulled -1] Blades is unconscious more often than he is scared, which also says something about his (lack of) intelligence. He murmurs, "Oh be still my beating fuel pump," when Repugnus lunges for the face. Triggerhappy is really fighting the urge to simply breach protocol and shoot at Repugnus' disgusting mug. Marauder states, "In battling you, I begin to understand the Autobots. You, as much as anything else, are reason enough to be a Decepticon." In fact, when Repugnus uses the caber as a ladder to grab the flying Marauder's face, it takes on a surprised, shocked even, visage. "Let go!" he says amidst the struggling as he kicks, fights, and squirms, and eventually decides to crush the Monsterbot by driving them both, Repugnus first, into the dirt. Combat: Marauder strikes Repugnus with his Driven into the Irradiated Earth (Smash) attack! Repugnus sprains an ankle on contact with the dirt, but that's okay because he didn't really need to run that fast anyway. "Let go? Let go? No! NO! NOOO ahahaha!" He continues to wail away on Marauder's skull as they roll about in the dirt. "Oh, and PLEASE, don't tell me you're ANOTHER Decepticon that thinks it's cool to be a Decepticon just because of the ONE Autobot who likes to carve you up! Spare me--I've opened up enough Decepticon heads to know EXACTLY what's going on in your brains." Combat: Repugnus strikes Marauder with his Punch attack! Combat: Marauder falls to the ground, unconscious. Blades aws when Repugnus does not quite manage to get Marauder's face off, visibly disappointed. Then Repugnus just sort of... punches Marauder while they're rolling around in the dirt, and... Blades saunters on over to the combatants and starts counting off on his fingers. "Five. Four." Marauder screws up the landing, and instead of Repugnus being driven into the ground, it is Marauder, making a bit of a crater. The dust flies up into the air, creating a haze, confusing things for a moment, but when the dust settles, Repugnus is still very much functional, while Marauder remains, half buried, and unmoving. Repugnus notices Blades is still counting down, and, seeing the opportunity, grins and continues senselessly punching the poor guy in the head. "Tch, that was just dumb luck!" Triggerhappy shakes his head. But he glares at the Monsterbot when he starts pounding pointlessly on the downed Marauder. "Hey, quit! You won already if you hadn't -noticed- yet afthead!" Blades starts counting more slowly, "...three. ...two." Does he have to finish? Blades supposes so. "One. Repugnus is the winner! This means that Repugnus fights Buzzkill to determine gold and silver! And I'm just saying, if Marauder ends up missing his face, I will deny everything. I will deny that Marauder even had a face in the first place." Blades puts up his hands and looks shifty. Repugnus finally stops punching when Blades calls it! He springs to his feet, pumping his hands in the air. "OH YEAH! I win, yeah! I'd like to thank my mom, and Jesus, and Cthulhu, and the Fonz. EYYYY!" "Pft, who -cares-? This whole games thing is stupid, anyway." Triggerhappy groans. "None of it even matters, and ya know why? 'Cuz we're gonna beat your sorry Autobum skidplates to slag in the end, anyway and you know it!" Repugnus does the Robot (the dance) in front of Triggerhappy to show he feels about that remark. Triggerhappy again resists the strong urge to shoot the uglybot in the face. Blades tilts his head to one side slightly and looks Triggerhappy over, and then he shakes his head. "Yeah. No. I enjoy... all this," and he points vaguely at the mess Repugnus has made, "but that's not /why/ I'm fighting. And the reason why I fight ain't gonna accept my laying down to die against the likes of /you/." "Who ever said we get to decide whether to -accept- what we get in life or not?" Triggerhappy argues. "Sometimes stuff just happens, ya know?" he grins. Blades's expression is thin and hard, optics narrowed. "Things happen. What I do about them is up to me, and no one's going to answer for what I've done but me." He checks his schedule. "Helicopter rides for Russian orphans? Yeesh! How'd I get signed up doing /that/? Well, gotta bail." Blades transforms into his Bell UH-1 Iroquois mode. Repugnus does the robot out of there.
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