About: National Certificate of Educational Achievement   Sponge Permalink

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NCEA, New Zealand's secondary school qualification system, is an acronym for Num-nuts Can Eventually Achieve or Naive Cunts Educating Assholes. A common misconception is that it stands for National Certificate of Educational Achievement, but this is a rumour without any factual basis.

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  • National Certificate of Educational Achievement
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  • NCEA, New Zealand's secondary school qualification system, is an acronym for Num-nuts Can Eventually Achieve or Naive Cunts Educating Assholes. A common misconception is that it stands for National Certificate of Educational Achievement, but this is a rumour without any factual basis.
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  • NCEA, New Zealand's secondary school qualification system, is an acronym for Num-nuts Can Eventually Achieve or Naive Cunts Educating Assholes. A common misconception is that it stands for National Certificate of Educational Achievement, but this is a rumour without any factual basis. Recently, NCEA has been referred to in the media with a variety of equally endearing nicknames, the most common being 'failure', which was closely followed by 'miserable failure' (and then 'very miserable failure'). However, it should be noted that the aforementioned definitions and connotations do not exist because the introduction of NCEA led to the deletion of the word 'failure' from Kiwi vocabulary. The new term is 'not achieved', 'working toward achieved' or 'almost achieved'. Thus NCEA can be referred to as 'Not Achieved'. NCEA could never be deleted. This is because for it to be deleted it would have to fail, but fail does not exist anymore. Therefore NCEA is here to stay. Not Achieved is the national secondary school qualification for New Zealand. However, it is worth noting that in the last census, New Zealand counted only 17 high school graduates from its entire population, 12 of which were illegal immigrants. Signs are looking promising for an increase in these numbers over the long term, despite the recent spate of high school terrorism.
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