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Back to the horse breed articles :) This is a collaboration that I have been working on with User:Tsaag Valren, who has taken the article to FA on the French WP. The multiple editors working in foreign languages (me with French and Tsaag with English) has resulted in the finding of more prose niggles than usual on subsequent read-throughs. Due to this, I'd (even more than usual) like to get some additional eyes on this before I take it to FAC. As always, a look-through for jargon and readability would also be appreciated. Thanks, Dana boomer (talk) 21:32, 26 June 2012 (UTC)

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  • Peer review/Trait du Nord/archive1
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  • Back to the horse breed articles :) This is a collaboration that I have been working on with User:Tsaag Valren, who has taken the article to FA on the French WP. The multiple editors working in foreign languages (me with French and Tsaag with English) has resulted in the finding of more prose niggles than usual on subsequent read-throughs. Due to this, I'd (even more than usual) like to get some additional eyes on this before I take it to FAC. As always, a look-through for jargon and readability would also be appreciated. Thanks, Dana boomer (talk) 21:32, 26 June 2012 (UTC)
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  • Back to the horse breed articles :) This is a collaboration that I have been working on with User:Tsaag Valren, who has taken the article to FA on the French WP. The multiple editors working in foreign languages (me with French and Tsaag with English) has resulted in the finding of more prose niggles than usual on subsequent read-throughs. Due to this, I'd (even more than usual) like to get some additional eyes on this before I take it to FAC. As always, a look-through for jargon and readability would also be appreciated. Thanks, Dana boomer (talk) 21:32, 26 June 2012 (UTC) Comments great read, lovely breed. (did a review, lost all the comments, thanks Internet Explorer) * Link studbook in the lead. * You link mining (reasonably common term) but not the specific varient of driving in the lead, I would link both. * "The breed is considered to be endangered" does it have any official (e.g. IUCN) status? * Comment This is a breed, not a species, so I don't think there is an IUCN status. However, there are breed conservancy groups as well as French govt info. Dana, does the FAO keep a worldwide list of endangered breeds? --MTBW * Surprised there's no article for "French National Stud". * We are missing dozens of European state stud articles. There are a few on German ones. Definitely a need --MTBW * "large horse of Hainaut" is this what the source says or is there also a French/Flemish initial wording? * "The studbook was under the responsibility of the combined studbook group Studbook of Northern Workhorses" bit "studbooky". * "continued to be introduced to the line" sorry, forgive my ignorance, but I don't understand this. * "16.1 hands (65 inches, 165 cm) " hand, imperial, metric, but " 850 to 1,000 kilograms (1,900 to 2,200 lb) for stallions" metric, imperial... I know this is picky but I'd prefer consistent ordering. * "with a stylized "N" brand on " would branding be a better link here? * "among the those confiscated by Germans " odd "the" and for what purpose why they confiscated? * "consumption of the Trait du Nord by butchers " this makes it sound like just the butchers consumed the meat! * Not sure you need to link Sicily and Guadeloupe. * "The French National Stud backed this degree" wrong National Stud linked... * Uses section reads a bit muddled for me, starts with "mining" and the beginning of the 20th century, then takes us to the 1950s, then back to the Industrial revolution. * "generally four to eight to a" -> would "generally between four and eight to a..." be ok? * Some readers like the use of the format parameter for representing PDFs. * Ref 12 could use an accessdate for consistency. * I see whitespace between the two templates at the bottom of the page. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:29, 2 July 2012 (UTC)
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