| rdfs:comment
| - Intelligent Falling (IF) is the "sister theory" to the fashionable, new, and absolutely true theory of Intelligent Design. The theory of Intelligent Falling holds that Newtonian gravity is a blasphemous lie concocted by evil anti-theistic scientists, and that objects fall because God an Intelligent Puller is pulling them down. An article by Skip Skip Master Canal News begins with the observation that, "Americans do not believe that humans just fall, and the vast majority say that even if they do fall, God guided the process. Just 13 percent say that God was not involved."
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| abstract
| - Intelligent Falling (IF) is the "sister theory" to the fashionable, new, and absolutely true theory of Intelligent Design. The theory of Intelligent Falling holds that Newtonian gravity is a blasphemous lie concocted by evil anti-theistic scientists, and that objects fall because God an Intelligent Puller is pulling them down. This intuitive theory is based on the observation that if falling was truly random — as gravity suggests — each thing would independently fall in a different direction, and the odds of everything falling down are astronomically slim. The second law of thermodynamics proves that things cannot fall towards a more ordered state of all being at the same (floor) height from random starting heights; hence, there must be God a guiding intelligence behind it. Intelligent Falling stands in contrast with Newtonian gravity, the naturalistic theory that explains why things fall, which is commonly taught in public schools. The concept of Newtonian materialistic gravity differs from the theory of Intelligent Falling in positing that God the Intelligent Puller does not guide the process of falling. It asserts that unguided natural processes, such as being dropped, can make things fall. A majority of the most prominent and vocal defenders of the naturalistic gravitationary position since World War II have been atheists. An article by Skip Skip Master Canal News begins with the observation that, "Americans do not believe that humans just fall, and the vast majority say that even if they do fall, God guided the process. Just 13 percent say that God was not involved." The traditional model for Newton's theory of gravity was based on "unnatural connection", or "I've fallen and I can't get up". Today, modern advocates of Newtonism no longer adhere to this notion, and have redefined it as "that thing that lets me walk down stairs". Intelligent Falling is an argument against the naturalistic theory of unguided falling (see falling through natural erection). IF argues that life and other aspects of the physical universe are too complex to be able to fall through natural processes alone. In particular, the big red ball is too intricate to fall without having been pulled (see I don't get relativity, so it's wrong). Thus, various features of the universe, and of living things, are best explained by a puller and not by undirected processes. Fall theory leaves the identity of the Intelligent Puller open, although fall opponents insist that it could only be God. These opponents condemn IF as "creationist pseudo-science". But then they would say that, since they're being tricked by SATAN.
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