About: Oxford Animal Lab   Sponge Permalink

An Entity of Type : owl:Thing, within Data Space : 134.155.108.49:8890 associated with source dataset(s)

A relatively new construction in Oxford, the Oxford Animal Lab can be seen towering over the rest of the city like an enormous devouring monster with doors and windows. This is in no small part due to choice of EvilTex, the most evil alloy of obsidian and bone known to man, as the main building material. Such is the destructive power of EvilTex, that construction workers on the lab were forced to hide their faces in balaclavas and gas masks, to avoid the toxic effects of the poisonous EvilTex fumes. Additionally, the walls have been installed with large spring-loaded spikes capable of detecting a cute kitten and firing themselves into it, skewering it and dragging it back inside the Animal Lab where scientists do unspeakable things to it.

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rdfs:label
  • Oxford Animal Lab
rdfs:comment
  • A relatively new construction in Oxford, the Oxford Animal Lab can be seen towering over the rest of the city like an enormous devouring monster with doors and windows. This is in no small part due to choice of EvilTex, the most evil alloy of obsidian and bone known to man, as the main building material. Such is the destructive power of EvilTex, that construction workers on the lab were forced to hide their faces in balaclavas and gas masks, to avoid the toxic effects of the poisonous EvilTex fumes. Additionally, the walls have been installed with large spring-loaded spikes capable of detecting a cute kitten and firing themselves into it, skewering it and dragging it back inside the Animal Lab where scientists do unspeakable things to it.
dcterms:subject
abstract
  • A relatively new construction in Oxford, the Oxford Animal Lab can be seen towering over the rest of the city like an enormous devouring monster with doors and windows. This is in no small part due to choice of EvilTex, the most evil alloy of obsidian and bone known to man, as the main building material. Such is the destructive power of EvilTex, that construction workers on the lab were forced to hide their faces in balaclavas and gas masks, to avoid the toxic effects of the poisonous EvilTex fumes. Additionally, the walls have been installed with large spring-loaded spikes capable of detecting a cute kitten and firing themselves into it, skewering it and dragging it back inside the Animal Lab where scientists do unspeakable things to it. To increase mobility, the Oxford Animal Lab has been fitted with wheels that allow it to careen around the streets of Oxford at a breakneck speed, spewing forth vile fumes that cause terriers to be knocked unconscious. Flexible vaccum tubes can then collect the terriers and suck them into a holding chamber, ready to have their legs cut off and replaced with steel bionic claws.
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