About: Superman (Earth-X)

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About: Superman (Earth-X) Sponge Permalink

An Entity of Type : dbkwik:resource/fTd4Std5AiaWC9MxmY1UsA==, within Data Space : 134.155.108.49:8890 associated with source dataset(s)

Superman was, is, and will always be the second biggest commie on Earth-X. We say second biggest them Yanks can't keep keep up with the Commietude of some Russians. Superman can beat anybody up, ever, except for the Hulk who is green, just like kryptonite.....or something. He was beating people up dressed in spandex while your grandpa was still in diapers. And anybody who says different is selling something. Or thats what they tell you. The truth is that Kal El is a Communist. Infact, Kal-El doesn't exist, but you'll learn about that later. We're here to tell you the truth.

Attributes	Values
rdf:type	Hero
rdfs:label	Superman (Earth-X)
rdfs:comment	Superman was, is, and will always be the second biggest commie on Earth-X. We say second biggest them Yanks can't keep keep up with the Commietude of some Russians. Superman can beat anybody up, ever, except for the Hulk who is green, just like kryptonite.....or something. He was beating people up dressed in spandex while your grandpa was still in diapers. And anybody who says different is selling something. Or thats what they tell you. The truth is that Kal El is a Communist. Infact, Kal-El doesn't exist, but you'll learn about that later. We're here to tell you the truth.
dcterms:subject	Things that made Bob Kane cry Males Things that make Bruce Wayne cry Characters who suffer from Hero/Villain transfer syndrome Bale-approved articles dbkwik:resource/_qC0n-A58Kf0210T2RA7ew== Allies of Superman
dbkwik:whysoseriou...iPageUsesTemplate	dbkwik:resource/1R33Lt8iNU62UiTUd92xzg== dbkwik:resource/jLGpU9onSBmrms_vQWh3sg==
Eyes	So blue you could just fall right into them
Affiliation	Legion of Super-Heroes Justice League of America
Hair	Spit-curled black
Name	Superman
Allies	Wonder Woman Batman
Species	Kryptonite Commie
Homeworld	Krypton
Gender	Male
Death	Disturbingly frequently
Birth	Last son of a doomed planet
abstract	Superman was, is, and will always be the second biggest commie on Earth-X. We say second biggest them Yanks can't keep keep up with the Commietude of some Russians. Superman can beat anybody up, ever, except for the Hulk who is green, just like kryptonite.....or something. He was beating people up dressed in spandex while your grandpa was still in diapers. And anybody who says different is selling something. The story goes that Superman was born on the planet Krypton. His parents neglected "Kal-El" and one day Kal's father "Jor-El" got drunk and stuck his son in an air-tight cannister and rocketed him to Earth-X. Kal landed on the outskirts of a small village named Smallville...Ironic? Yeah, probably... Anyway, two farmers, Ma and Pa Kent found the cannister on the side of the road and, thinking it was some XXX, they stopped their Model T and grabbed the cannister. When they realized it wasn't alcohol, Pa Kent almost threw the cannister away untill Ma Kent saw the nearly dead baby Kal-El. The starving, suffocating Baby of Krypton. They took the child into their home and raised him as Clark Kent. As he grew up he realized he had superpowers and became Superman, Avenger of the Oppressed. Or thats what they tell you. The truth is that Kal El is a Communist. Infact, Kal-El doesn't exist, but you'll learn about that later. We're here to tell you the truth. You think the Communist party is all but dead? This is just the beginning.

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