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| - Hello and welcome to San Francisco's greatest confectionaire "Bronco McStabber's", where we've been packing fudge for nearly a hundred years! During the half hour tour I'll be introducing you to some of the colorful characters that work here and, if you're lucky, they may let you get in on the action. Be warned though, if you're not careful, those guys'll work you so hard you'll be on your knees. But don't worry, 'cause when their done with you, I'll be taking you up the chocolate highway to ecstasy to sample our unique range of goods. Once you've tasted the mouthful of joy Bronco McStabber delivers you'll be drooling! And for only another $5 we'll keep filling your mouth 'til you can't swallow another drop.
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| abstract
| - Hello and welcome to San Francisco's greatest confectionaire "Bronco McStabber's", where we've been packing fudge for nearly a hundred years! During the half hour tour I'll be introducing you to some of the colorful characters that work here and, if you're lucky, they may let you get in on the action. Be warned though, if you're not careful, those guys'll work you so hard you'll be on your knees. But don't worry, 'cause when their done with you, I'll be taking you up the chocolate highway to ecstasy to sample our unique range of goods. Once you've tasted the mouthful of joy Bronco McStabber delivers you'll be drooling! And for only another $5 we'll keep filling your mouth 'til you can't swallow another drop. Before we start the tour, let me just tell you a little about our unique enterprise. Bronco McStabber was born in 1875 and even now his home town celebrates his anniversary every year - he must be the biggest bender to ever come out of Big Bend, West Texas. Legend has it he first got acquainted with the business of packing fudge way back in 1898 when he began working for Hershey. Bronco was apprenticed as a chocolateer and found himself under General Bear Angel. I don't know if you've ever heard of the General, before 1860 he was a notorious buccaneer and part-time jockey but he really came to fame during the Civil War when he was the only man court-marshalled from both the Union and Confederate armies. He was so famous for offering taffy to his men before battle that they called him the chocolate soldier. That kind old man couldn't bear to see any man suffer. So at the Second Battle of Bull-Run he gathered up the youngest, blondest confederate prisoners and sheltered four of them in his own tent instead of seeing them transported to a prisoner of war camp where God knows what could have happened to them. Seems he was in the act of lending them his uniform to escape when he was caught because, when they came to arrest him, he was barely wearing anything 'cept his wife's Easter bonnet and his cavalry spurs. Somehow he escaped to rebel lines and they were so grateful to him they let him head up the newly formed Kentucky special forces - the KY Kommando. But the General was so adventurous that his men weren't always comfortable under him and he was transferred for accidentally discharging his weapon into a young recruit. Fortunately, he had lots of naval acquaintances from his time as a navigator of the Windward Pass and he'd have ended the Civil War as a Rear Admiral if it hadn't been some nasty insinuations in the Gettysburg Gazette. Luckily for us he fled west to California where one of his close companions found him a position at Hershey's. Well, that old guy showed Bronco a thing or two, I guess, 'cause he wrote in his autobiography that within minutes of meeting the old geezer he was seeing stars. But Bronco was a quick learner, he made sure he saw every part of the fudge-packing business; starting off as a lowly cocoa-shunter and working his way up no matter how hard the going. And he must have impressed that old goat, cause the General had him in every position imaginable - on the factory floor, in the board room, the canteen you name it. Poor old Bronco was worked so hard he went home bent double sometimes. But he was learning, and not just from the General. Bronco pumped every visiting executive until he'd had a taste of every part of their business. They must have paid him well too, because after only seven years he was able to start up his own business, the wonderful one we're celebrating today. Sadly, Bronco died in Ankara in 1948. The old man had always taken an interest in Turkish sports and was in the process of applying olive oil to the body of a young boy prior to having a friendly wrestle when he slipped and knocked his head. Fortunately, he left his business in capable hands, splitting the shares between his three adoptive daughters; Nancy, Sissy and Pansy.
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