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| - Phoenix: ...*huff*...*huff*... Phoenix: Grr!! How did I get into this mess...? That's far enough! Phoenix: Wha...!? What have I done wrong!? I cannot allow you to go on like this! Phoenix: ...? Phoenix: B-But I'm just a simple defense attorney! Silence! September 8, 9:08 AMDistrict Court Defendant Lobby No. 1 Phoenix: What a nightmare... Phoenix: And I bet it was this ringtone that caused it... Phoenix: I really shouldn't be dozing off right before a trial starts anyway... Phone: ...*beep*... Phoenix: Huh... looks like they hung up. ? ? ?: Ah, good. I finally found it. ? ? ?: Talk about a close call. I hate to do this to you, but... ? ? ?: It's nothing personal... Mr. Attorney. A few minutes later...District Court Defendant Lobby No. 1 Phoenix: ... Phoenix: Ouch... My head... It's throbbing... Phoenix: And why does it feel... so foggy in there...? ? ? ?: Gooood morning! Phoenix: Ack! Phoenix: Uh... G-Good morning... ? ? ?: What's wrong!? You don't look well! ? ? ?: People are at their best first thing in the morning! Where's that fighting spirit!? Phoenix: ... Sorry, but can you please turn the cheeriness down? Phoenix: My head... sort of hurts... ? ? ?: Roger that! Phoenix: ... ? ? ?: ... Phoenix: ... Um... Am I in trouble or something? ? ? ?: Huh? "Trouble...?" Phoenix: W-Wait, never mind. You're a policewoman, right? Phoenix: I thought maybe I had done something wrong...? ? ? ?: Wh-What are you talking about? ? ? ?: I'm the one in trouble! Phoenix: ... What? Byrde: I'm placing my life in your hands today, Mr. Phoenix Wright! Phoenix: Life... in... my hands...? Byrde: You promised me! You said you would prove that I was not guilty! Phoenix: "N... Not... guilty"? Byrde: Just when I thought all hope was lost; when all the other lawyers had laughed me off... Byrde: "Leave it to me!" you said! You! The one and only Phoenix Wright came to save the day! Byrde: And just like that, I was moved to tears, sir! Byrde: I'll never forget what you're doing for me, EVER! Phoenix: (What is this girl babbling about...?) Byrde: Actually, I really love to watch court proceedings, and I always root for you to win! Byrde: When I'm off duty, I like to come here and... Byrde: ...? Byrde: What's wrong? You've been acting really strange and you keep staring at me. Byrde: You're making me kind of nervous, sir... Phoenix: Oh... sorry. Phoenix: (Hmm... I'm afraid to ask, but here goes...) Phoenix: So, this might sound bad, but... uh... Who are you...? Byrde: Whaaaaat!? Byrde: Mr. Wright!! How can you say that!? Byrde: How can you do this to the fragile heart of a girl about to go on trial...? Byrde: You're absolutely horrible! Phoenix: No -- I mean, I didn't mean it like that! Byrde: Is this how a defense attorney treats his clients, sir!? I can't believe this!! Phoenix: No, it's just... ...Well, I think you have the wrong person. Phoenix: I'm... Byrde: Yes...!? "I'm..."!? Phoenix: ... Phoenix: ... I'm... Who am I? (Why am I drawing a blank...?) Bailiff: The trial will begin shortly. Bailiff: Will the defendant and her lawyer please proceed to the courtroom immediately! Byrde: The trial's about to start! I'm counting on you in there, OK? Phoenix: (Hmm... I guess I must have amnesia...) Phoenix: (Let's see... What can I piece together...?) Phoenix: (Hmm, from our conversation, I can safely say that I'm probably a defense attorney.) Phoenix: (And that girl... I said I'd prove her "not guilty"...) Phoenix: (I can't believe I made such an irresponsible promise.) Phoenix: Aaaaaargh! Someone, please!! Phoenix: Tell me this is just a bad dream! September 8, 10:00 AM District Court Courtroom No. 2 Judge: Court is now in session for the trial of Maggey Byrde. Payne: The prosecution is ready, Your Honor. Phoenix: ... Judge: What is it, Mr. Wright? Phoenix: Um, er... Are you talking to me...? Judge: Do you see any other defense attorneys here? Phoenix: (I guess not. Urk.) Judge: Now then, are you ready? Phoenix: Actually, you see, Your Honor... My memory is kind of... Judge: The court will not hear the defense's excuses. Judge: Because the defendant is a member of the police, this case is under great scrutiny. Judge: Therefore, we must make this trial fair but swift. Judge: I believe I have told you this before. I hope you're not telling me you've forgotten! Phoenix: (Actually, I did...) Judge: Mr. Payne, your opening statement, please. Payne: Yes, Your Honor. Payne: As I'm sure you're well aware, the defendant is accused of killing her lover. Payne: What's worse, her lover was a fellow police officer! Phoenix: A policeman? You did WHAT to a policeman!? Byrde: It wasn't me! Byrde: And besides, Dustin and I... Byrde: We weren't "lovers" like that! Payne: In any case... Payne: The prosecution will prove that the guilty party is none other than the defendant! Judge: Very well. Judge: Mr. Payne, please call your first witness. Payne: Hee, hee, hee. It's been a while, Mr. Wright. Payne: Let's see what you've learned since last time. Payne: I won't show you any mercy this time, rookie! Phoenix: Okaaay... (And who are you again!?) Payne: Please bring Detective Dick Gumshoe to the stand. Byrde: Here we go! Don't let me down, Mr. Wright! Phoenix: (Nowhere to hide... I'm sooo dead...) Payne: Witness, please state your name and occupation. Gumshoe: My name is Dick Gumshoe, sir. Gumshoe: I'm the detective in charge of homicides down at the precinct, sir. Judge: You don't look very well, Detective. Gumshoe: Well, sir, the defendant... She works under me, so, you know... Phoenix: You work under that detective? Byrde: Yes, sir! And while I was a trainee, he was always watching out for me, sir! Byrde: He's such a wonderful guy, sir! I'll never forget what he's done for me! Phoenix: (OK, calm down, I believe you.) Payne: Detective Gumshoe. Payne: Please describe for us the details of this murder. Gumshoe: Yes, sir. Gumshoe: It happened at the park near headquarters, "Exposé Park". Gumshoe: The victim was one of the local cops, Dustin Prince. Gumshoe: He was pushed down from the benches on the upper path, sir. Gumshoe: The landing beat his body up bad and snapped his neck. Payne: The details are listed in the report that was distributed yesterday... Judge: Ah, yes. This autopsy report, correct? Phoenix: (Why do I not remember getting a copy...?) Judge: I see everything is in order here. Judge: Even the estimated time of death is unusually well documented! Gumshoe: The victim's watch stopped from the impact of the landing, sir. Gumshoe: The results of the autopsy confirmed the time of death. Payne: If I may, Your Honor, Payne: the prosecution would like to submit this photograph. Judge: Very well. The court accepts it into evidence. Judge: Now then, I recall at yesterday's preliminary hearing, Judge: a very important piece of evidence was brought to our attention. Payne: Yes, Your Honor. Gumshoe: Yes, sir. Phoenix: Yes... I guess? Judge: Mr. Wright! Is your head on right today!? Judge: There was a very crucial piece of evidence found under the victim's body! Phoenix: Um, was there? Byrde: Have you lost your mind!? Phoenix: Well, actually... Phoenix: Um, it's just nerves. Give me a second. Byrde: Whaaaat!? Byrde: How can you talk like such an amateur!? I thought you were a pro, sir! Byrde: ... Byrde: Alright, sir. I'll help you through this! Byrde: At a time like this, maybe you ought to take a glance at the Court Record! Phoenix: ...Court Record? Byrde: Yup! Info about evidence and people involved with this case are all listed there, sir! Byrde: You can look at the Court Record by touching the Court Record Button! Phoenix: The Court Record Button...? You really know what you're talking about, huh? Byrde: It's too bad I'm a cop, right? Just think! I could totally be a legal aide instead! Judge: Mr. Wright. Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor! Judge: Court is in session. Save your chit-chat for later! Phoenix: S-Sorry, Your Honor... Phoenix: (Well, I guess I'd better check the Court Record, and see what I can find...) Phoenix: (What was it again? The Court Record Button...?) Judge: Alright, Mr. Wright. Let's see if your notes are in order. Judge: What was the piece of evidence found underneath the victim's body? Phoenix: That's simple, Your Honor. A broken pair of glasses. Judge: That's right. Gumshoe: The victim grabbed the criminal's glasses as he was being shoved, sir, Gumshoe: and held onto them as he fell. Phoenix: ... Byrde: Hey! Why are you giving me the evil eye!? Phoenix: Those glasses you're wearing... Byrde: Nnnngh... Byrde: Yes, this is my spare pair. Byrde: But these glasses they found at the scene of the crime are not mine! I swear, sir! Phoenix: You sure about that? Byrde: Look, it was a coincidence that on that same day, I accidentally stepped on mine! Phoenix: (A "coincidence" she says... Urk...) Payne: Eh hee hee hee hee hee hee! Your Honor. Payne: I have further evidence to present. Judge: Oh? You have more? Payne: And this evidence is very decisive. Judge: Very well! Judge: Let's hear from our witness about this "evidence". WITNESSTESTIMONY -- Decisive Evidence -- Gumshoe: There's something even more incriminating than the glasses under the victim's body, sir. Gumshoe: During his date, the victim was pushed from the bench area. Gumshoe: But he managed to write the culprit's name on the ground where he landed. Gumshoe: I don't like saying it, but it was clearly the defendant's name, "Maggie", sir. Gumshoe: With this piece of evidence and the glasses, it's hard to say she's not the culprit. Payne: This is a picture of the writing, Your Honor. Judge: Why, this is...! Judge: Yes, I can see the name is clearly written here. Payne: The prosecution would like to submit this picture. Judge: Understood. The court accepts it into evidence. Phoenix: As if the glasses alone didn't make you look suspicious, Phoenix: the victim even wrote your name clear as day on the ground! Byrde: But, but, but, I already told you! Those glasses aren't mine!! Phoenix: And how do you explain his dying message? Byrde: ... Byrde: It's a conspiracy! I'm not guilty, sir! Judge: Mr. Wright, you may cross- examine the witness. Phoenix: Cross-examine? Byrde: This is it! I'm counting on you! Phoenix: Sure... But what am I supposed to do? Byrde: WHAT!? Byrde: This isn't like you at all! Byrde: Normally, this is the part where you get in the witnesses' faces! Phoenix: Get in their faces and do what? Byrde: I guess there's no way around it! Byrde: OK, I'm going to lend you a hand! Byrde: The prosecution's witnesses all hide things from the court, Byrde: which means they lie from time to time. Phoenix: Lie? Phoenix: But... isn't that detective your superior? Byrde: Well, even if they don't mean to lie, sometimes people just remember things wrong. Phoenix: Hmm, like that detective. He does sort of look like a scatterbrain... Byrde: It doesn't matter! Either way, it's bad for us, sir! Byrde: That's why when you question witnesses, you have to find and expose their lies! Judge: Mr. Wright. Your cross-examination, please. Phoenix: Y-Yes, Your Honor. Phoenix: (Talk about trial by fire. Here goes nothing.) Phoenix: (As long as I can "expose the lies", we should be alright.) CROSSEXAMINATION Gumshoe: There's something even more incriminating than the glasses under the victim's body, sir. Gumshoe: During his date, the victim was pushed from the bench area. Gumshoe: But he managed to write the culprit's name on the ground where he landed. Gumshoe: I don't like saying it, but it was clearly the defendant's name, "Maggie", sir. Gumshoe: With this piece of evidence and the glasses, it's hard to say she's not the culprit. Byrde: Don't give up! Keep that fighting spirit going! Phoenix: I'm glad you're all pumped up, but... Byrde: I really want to see your "special move", sir! Phoenix: My what?? Byrde: You always look so cool when you present evidence! Phoenix: Present... evidence? Phoenix: ... Phoenix: ... Phoenix: ... Judge: Wh-What is it? Phoenix: ... Phoenix: (What... What's come over me...?) Phoenix: (Without thinking, I just blurted out, "Objection!"...) Phoenix: (And I yelled it at the top of my lungs, finger outstretched, ready to take on my opponent!) Phoenix: (What a rush!) Phoenix: Detective Gumshoe! Gumshoe: Y-You talking to me, pal? Phoenix: Please state the defendant's name for me! Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: What are you trying to prove with this futile exercise, Mr. Wright? Phoenix: You'll see. This is a very crucial line of questioning! Phoenix: Actually, Mr. Payne, you can answer. The defendant's name, if you please. Payne: Wh-Where is this ridiculous question coming from? Payne: The defendant's, uh, name is, uh... "Maggie Byrde". Phoenix: I think someone needs to check the Court Record. Payne: What...? It says right here that it's "Maggey Byrde". Payne: Aaaah!! Phoenix: It looks like the bird caught the cat napping! Judge: What's going on here!? Gumshoe: I have no idea either, sir! Phoenix: As you can see, Phoenix: the victim did indeed leave a name, "Maggie". Phoenix: However, the defendant's name is actually spelled, "Maggey"! Phoenix: This is a blatant contradiction of facts! Judge: Ohh! Gumshoe: How about that? I hadn't even noticed! Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: But, but, but...! Payne: But maybe the victim didn't know how to spell her name correctly... Phoenix:File:Objection.gif Phoenix: May I remind you that it was you who said, Phoenix: "The defendant is accused of killing her lover." Phoenix: If they were truly lovers, it would be impossible for him to have not known her name! Payne: Noooo! Judge: This is very true. Judge: Mr. Payne. Payne: Y-Yes, Your Honor? Judge: Are you absolutely certain that the defendant and the victim, Dustin Prince, Judge: were, in fact, lovers? Payne: Y-Yes, I am quite certain, Your Honor. Payne: They were a well-known couple in the police force. Judge: Detective Gumshoe. Judge: Please testify for the court the relationship between the victim and the defendant. Gumshoe: Yes, sir... WITNESSTESTIMONYTestimony Gumshoe: Officer Prince and Officer Byrde had been going out for about half a year. Gumshoe: It sounded like they were even talking about marriage. Gumshoe: The day of the incident just happened to be the victim's birthday, sir. Gumshoe: Maggey... I mean, Officer Byrde, had gotten Officer Prince a present. Gumshoe: It was something she had gotten over 2 months ago. Gumshoe: I should know, 'cause she came to me to ask what she should get for him. Judge: Oh... Those two sound like they were close... Payne: Nevertheless, tragedu**** struck. Judge: Hmm, yes, I see... You may cross-examine the witness, Mr. Wright. CROSSEXAMINATION Gumshoe: Officer Prince and Officer Byrde had been going out for about half a year. Gumshoe: It sounded like they were even talking about marriage. Gumshoe: The day of the incident just happened to be the victim's birthday, sir. Gumshoe: Maggey... I mean, Officer Byrde, had gotten Officer Prince a present. Gumshoe: It was something she had gotten over 2 months ago. Gumshoe: I should know, 'cause she came to me to ask what she should get for him. Phoenix: ... Byrde: Wh-What is it this time? Phoenix: That testimony didn't sound like it had any contradictions in it to me. Phoenix: There just wasn't anything that really stuck out as odd. Byrde: Yeah... Byrde: I wonder what would happen if you tried to get more information from him? Phoenix: Get more information? Byrde: Yeah! You know! Like how they "press" people on those old cop shows, sir! Phoenix: So I should try "pressing" him, huh? Byrde: Yes! Bluffing to the max! Byrde: Now, THIS is the Mr. Wright I know! Byrde: I'm so happy you're back, sir! I was wondering how long it'd take! This is great! Phoenix: (Hmm, pressing people... It feels like I've done this before.) Phoenix: (As if I used to do this to squeeze information from even the most tight-lipped people.) Judge: Very well. Judge: If you are that convinced, then let's hear some more about this matter. Gumshoe: Actually, I brought the glove with me today. Phoenix: And? Judge: Why didn't you say so earlier? Hurry and show the glove to this court! Gumshoe: Well, I didn't think it had anything to do with this case... Gumshoe: Anyway, this is it, sir. Judge: It's, uh... rather yellow, isn't it? Gumshoe: Officer Prince really liked the color yellow. Phoenix: And that's why you had to special order it? Byrde: Yup, that's right! That, and one other reason... Judge: I think this court has heard enough. Judge: It is clear that the victim and the defendant were involved with each other. Payne: Yes, that's correct, Your Honor. Judge: Now, if that is true, it brings up an important question. Judge: Was the name "Maggie" really written by the victim? Payne: I see your point, Your Honor. Payne: Detective Gumshoe, please tell the court a little more about the name on the ground. Gumshoe: Yes, sir. WITNESSTESTIMONY -- Writing on the Ground -- Gumshoe: We first looked into the handwriting, sir. Gumshoe: Unfortunately, we couldn't confirm that it was the victim's handwriting. Gumshoe: Next, we checked the victim's pointer finger. Gumshoe: We found that there was sand trapped under the victim's fingernail. Gumshoe: There were also scratches on the skin that were caused by him writing on the ground. Gumshoe: From this, we could confirm that the victim wrote this name with his right hand. Judge: Hmm... Yes, a perfectly logical conclusion. Judge: Now then, Mr. Wright, you may cross-examine the witness. Phoenix: Thank you, Your Honor. CROSSEXAMINATION Gumshoe: We first looked into the handwriting. Gumshoe: Unfortunately, we couldn't confirm that it was the victim's handwriting. Gumshoe: Next, we checked the victim's pointer finger. Gumshoe: We found that there was sand trapped under the victim's fingernail. Gumshoe: There were also scratches on the skin that were caused by him writing on the ground. Gumshoe: From this, we could confirm that the victim wrote this name with his right hand. Phoenix: (Listening to this, you would think there was only one conclusion...) Phoenix: (that the name was definitely written by the victim...) Byrde: But don't you think that would be really strange, sir!? Byrde: If Dustin really wrote that message with his right hand, Byrde: do you think I would have gone through that much trouble to get him his present? Phoenix: (The present...? What about it...?) Phoenix: Detective Gumshoe. Take a look at this. Gumshoe: That's the glove, right? Phoenix: Could you tell the court what is special about this glove? Gumshoe: What's special? Um, never really thought about it, but uh... Gumshoe: It's REALLY yellow... ... And that's about it. Phoenix: Yes, it's REALLY yellow, but that is only one of its qualities. Gumshoe: Huh? Phoenix: There's another reason why it's special. Judge: And what would that be? Phoenix: It's very simple. Phoenix: This glove is made for a left-handed person! Gumshoe: Left-handed...? Judge: Why, you're absolutely right! Judge: This glove is made to be worn on the right hand! Phoenix: That is why it had to be custom-made. Phoenix: I have never seen a bright yellow left-hander's glove for sale. Have you? Gumshoe: Well, um... no. Phoenix: So, Detective. Phoenix: Which hand did the victim use to write the name with, again...? Gumshoe: That's easy! Gumshoe: Look, it's obvious from this picture that it was his... W-W-Wait a sec... Phoenix: Don't forget that the victim was left-handed! Gumshoe: Aaaaah!! Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: This is... This is... I mean... I... Objec-- Judge: Overruled. Judge: Mr. Wright, I would like to know what your line of reasoning proves. Phoenix: There is only one conclusion that can be drawn! Phoenix: A left-handed person could not have written a message with his right hand! Phoenix: Therefore! Phoenix: The person who wrote the name "Maggie" could not have been the victim! Judge: Order! Order! Judge: When you think about it that way, then yes, Judge: it is not possible that this name was written by the victim himself. Gumshoe: Then that means Maggey is...! Payne: No... IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!! Judge: Mr. Payne. Payne: Y-Y-Yes, Your Honor? Judge: The evidence the prosecution has presented has failed to prove the defendant's guilt. Judge: In fact, I believe you have proven her to be innocent! Payne: NOOOOOOO! Byrde: Alright! You did it, Mr. Wright! Byrde: Whew! I feel like I can breathe again! Judge: It seems that we have reached the conclusion. Judge: You did a fine job once again, Mr. Wright. Phoenix: Me, Your Honor? Ah, well, thank you, sir... Byrde: See, you got complimented by the judge again! You're really good! Byrde: And that's why you can't give up being a lawyer, sir! Phoenix: (Are you joking!? I'm more than ready to retire!) Judge: I will now announce my verdict. Judge: This court finds the defendant, Maggey Byrde... Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: No!! Not yet! Payne: I mean, please give me a few more minutes, Your Honor. Judge: Wh-What is the meaning of this, Mr. Payne!? Payne: The prosecution is not finished yet! Phoenix: What do you mean!? Payne: We would like to call our next witness to the stand! Phoenix: Whaaaaaaaaaat!? Judge: And what did this witness... witness? Payne: The moment the victim was pushed to his death! Payne: What's more, he saw the very face of the culprit! Phoenix: What the heck!? Judge: Order! Order in the court! Judge: I believe a recess is in order. Judge: Afterward, we will hear from this new witness. Phoenix: (I had a feeling that was a bit too easy...) Phoenix: (Hmm, I need more information. I'll have to see what I can find out during this recess.) Phoenix: (I can't let my guard down! It's only going to get tougher from here!) Judge: Court is adjourned for recess! To be continued. September 8, 11:43 AMDistrict Court Defendant Lobby No. 1 Byrde: A-Amnesia!? Byrde: I can't believe my lawyer's trying to defend me in such a state... Phoenix: ... I... Uh... Byrde: Why didn't you tell me, sir!? Phoenix: I'm sorry I didn't mention it to you. Byrde: Oh! I know what to do! Byrde: I heard you can fix something like this with a really strong shock to your system! Byrde: Come on, lower your head a little! A Maggey Kick should be all you need! Phoenix: Ah, no, no, no. I think I'll pass on this one. Byrde: Come on!... Ah, I'm sorry. Byrde: Whenever I see someone in trouble, I have a hard time leaving them alone... Byrde: I tend to stick my nose where it doesn't belong and try to tackle everyone's problems. Phoenix: (Well, my head's one problem you won't be tackling today...) Phoenix: Well, we're here to solve your problem first. We can deal with mine later. Phoenix: For now, do you think you can fill me in on a few things? Byrde: Of course! I'd be honored to! Byrde: Ah, well, I guess we'll start with my name and then I can tell you about me! Phoenix: No, no, that's ok. Really. I think I know you and your name pretty well by now. Phoenix: I was wondering if you could help me figure out a few things about myself. Phoenix: So, my name is "Phoenix Wright"? What a weird name. Byrde: Hmmmm... This is serious. You really don't remember. Byrde: I'll tell you what, sir. You can have this back, and maybe it'll help! Phoenix: ...? This is... a business card? Byrde: I got this from you. It's my most prized possession! Byrde: You can borrow it for now, but please give it back, OK!? Phoenix: OK. (There are some numbers written on the back...) Byrde: Oh, that's your cell phone number! Phoenix: I guess for now, we should stop talking about me, Phoenix: and start talking about this case. Byrde: This case...? Phoenix: Yup. Can you think of anything that would be helpful for me to know? Byrde: Um, what can I tell you...? Ah, um... Hmm... Byrde: I can't think of anything other than the incident with that cell phone, but... Phoenix: ...Cell phone? Byrde: Yeah! Your eyes lit up when we talked about it at the Detention Center, sir! Phoenix: ...! Phoenix: Hurry up then and tell me! This might be very important! Byrde: OK! Roger! Byrde: It was on the day of the crime, just before 6 PM... Byrde: I picked up a lost cell phone while on a walk with Dustin. Phone: ............... Byrde: All of a sudden, the phone began to ring... Phone: ...*beep*... Byrde: "Um, hello?" ? ? ?: "Oh, thank you! I've been searching for my phone." Byrde: "Is this yours? Oh, I'm glad you called! We can meet up and I can give this back!" ? ? ?: "I'll be right there, um... I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name..." Byrde: "You can call me Maggey!" Byrde: We agreed to meet up at 6 PM. Byrde: Dustin and I waited for the person to show up... Byrde: but they never did. Phoenix: Hmmmm... Phoenix: So where is the phone you found now? Byrde: I gave it to you yesterday! Phoenix: Huh? To me? (Is it that phone in my pocket...?) Phoenix: Y-You mean this? Byrde: Do you think it has anything to do with the murder? Phoenix: I... don't really know... But if my eyes "lit up"... ? ? ?: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! YOU WERE HERE ALL ALONG!! ? ? ?: You're so mean!! ? ? ?: I called you a million times but you wouldn't pick up! ? ? ?: And when I went to check in the courtroom, everyone had already left... Phoenix: (Ack! Now who in the heck is this?) Phoenix: (Let me guess. I'm supposed to know this girl too...) ? ? ?: Hey, good morning, Maggey! Byrde: And a good morning to you, too, Maya! Maya: So!? So!? How's it going!? Byrde: Is there a word for "worse than abysmal"...? Maya: Oh? And what if I said that everything will be fine? Maya: That's right! It's Maya to the rescue with the ultra-decisive super-important evidence! Maya: Here you are, Nick! The thing you wanted me to bring! Phoenix: Huh? Oh, ah, thanks... (What the heck is this? A list?) Phoenix: (It has about 20 people's names and phone numbers written on it.) Maya: It was kind of tough, but I managed to find out some dirt! Maya: It looks like these guys are up to no good. Phoenix: "No good"? As in? Maya: There's a group of con artists the police are currently investigating. Maya: I think these guys are members of that group. Phoenix: Why would a group of con artists pop up in a case like this? Maya: Don't look at me! Phoenix: Hmm... And where did you get this list from in the first place? Maya: Whaaaaat!? Why are you asking that!? Maya: You're the one who asked me to look this up yesterday! Phoenix: Oh... is that right? Maya: These numbers were in the memory of that phone Maggey found. Phoenix: Hmm, so that's where they're from. Maya: You're awfully forgetful these days, Nick. Maya: I hope I never get to be a forgetful old prune like you! Byrde: Um, Maya... Actually, Mr. Wright is... Bailiff: Mr. Wright! Recess is now over. Bailiff: Please bring the defendant and return to the courtroom immediately! Maya: Oh, oops! Guess you have to get going! We can talk about you being old later, Nick! Byrde: W-Wish us luck! Phoenix: (I guess I have all the pieces now... More or less.) Phoenix: (All that's left is to put it all together. I'm not going to lose this. I can't!) Maya: Come on, Nick. Better get a move on! Phoenix: Y-Yeah. September 8, 11:54 AMDistrict Court Courtroom No. 2 Judge: The court will now reconvene. Please call your next witness to the stand, Mr. Payne. Payne: Yes, Your Honor. Payne: But before I do, if I may say a few words... Judge: What is it, Mr. Payne? Payne: It's about the next witness. Payne: He has a tendency to say things that rub people the wrong way, you see, Payne: so I ask that the court might be a little lenient on... Judge: There is no need to give a preface. Just hurry up and call your witness, please. Payne: Y-Yes, Your Honor. ...The prosecution calls its next witness; Payne: a drifter who was taking a walk in the park on the day of the murder! Payne: Please state your name for the court, witness. ? ? ?: Before I do, I'd like to clarify a little something. Payne: Huh? Oh, alright, go ahead. ? ? ?: Just now, you introduced my wonderful self to the court, correct? ? ? ?: Perhaps as a "drifter who was taking a walk"? Payne: D-Did I? ? ? ?: But I will not stand for that! Now you've tinted the court's eyes and colored me wrongly. ? ? ?: Sure, I suppose calling me a university student would not be the absolute truth, ? ? ?: but to give in and just settle would be as evil as death and I can't have that! ? ? ?: Everything in my life is to be of the utmost, highest, top grade quality, you understand. ? ? ?: I am merely looking for that perfect, top notch, unbeatable university, don't you see...? ? ? ?: I have a rigorous selection process and I was in serious thought during my "walk" as... Payne: Yes, yes, I understand. I'm very sorry. I will be more careful from now on. Maya: Wh-What is he? A human chatterbox? Phoenix: Ugh... I have to question HIM? ? ? ?: Fashion! Cars! Women! Glasses! And of course, University! First-rates only need apply! Phoenix: (Glasses...? But you aren't wearing glasses...) Judge: That's enough! Your name, witness. ? ? ?: Oh? Is that how you want to play this? ? ? ?: Using your power and influence to keep the young people down. I see how you work now. ? ? ?: You old people and your dirty tricks. You thought you had me, but you thought wrong. Judge: I-I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Phoenix: (Oh man...) ? ? ?: I forgive you. Alright, I suppose I can tell you my name. Wellington: I am Richard Wellington, the "Drifting Virtuoso" with a Ph.D. in Drifting, as it were. Wellington: If you wanted to, you could call me a "University Student in Transit". Payne: Ahem, Mr. Wellington. Payne: On the day of the murder, you were taking a... er, strolling through the park, correct? Wellington: It would appear that you are attached to that word. If you must, then by all means. Wellington: But I remind you that I am in no way a prepubescent boy, "out on a walk" with mommy. Wellington: If you must know, I am-- Payne: Anyway! Please testify to this court what you saw during your walk through the park! Wellington: See, you said it again! "Taking a walk"... You know, you-- Judge: What you witnessed will do, Mr. Wellington! WITNESSTESTIMONYTestimony-- What I Saw That Day -- Wellington: I was at the park all afternoon, deep in thought about my life situation. Wellington: I don't remember the time all that well, but I do believe it was past 6 PM. Wellington: All of a sudden, a police officer falls from above, right in front of my eyes. Wellington: Without a thought, I looked up, and there I met the eyes of a charming, young lady. Wellington: Of course I remember her sweet face. It was that of the pretty defendant there. Wellington: The only other thing I saw was the banana that fell with the police officer. Judge: Hmm, that was certainly a decisive testimony. Maya: Decisive!? Nick, did you hear what he just said!? Phoenix: Yeah. Maya: That's all you have to say?How can you be so calm!? Phoenix: (It's strange... My mind is very calm and clear.) Phoenix: Maybe it's because I... believe in my client. Maya: You mean Maggey? Phoenix: Yes. And if she really is innocent, then that can only mean one thing: Phoenix: That guy is lying! Judge: You may now question the witness, Mr. Wright. Phoenix: (I'll find out the truth, no matter how well you craft your lies!) CROSSEXAMINATION-- What I Saw That Day -- Wellington: I was at the park all afternoon, deep in thought about my life situation. Wellington: I don't remember the time all that well, but I do believe it was past 6 PM. Wellington: All of a sudden, a police officer falls from above, right in front of my eyes. Wellington: Without a thought, I looked up, and there I met the eyes of a charming, young lady. Wellington: Of course I remember her sweet face. It was that of the pretty defendant there. Wellington: The only other thing I saw was the banana that fell with the police officer. Phoenix: (If my client is innocent, there is no way he could've seen what he says he did.) Maya: Which means if we can somehow show he's lying... Phoenix: Yeah, that's exactly what we need do.**** Phoenix: (She's right. She's got a sharp mind, but I just wish I could remember who she is...) Maya: Is everything OK, Nick...? Phoenix: Mr. Wellington. Phoenix: I believe I have the bananas you saw... right here! Wellington: Ah, so you knew about the bananas, too. Why didn't you say so earlier? Wellington: But don't think you can use this as a way to pull more information out of me. Phoenix: (And that's where you'd be wrong.) Judge: M-Mr. Wright. What is the meaning of this? Payne: Isn't that the baseball glove? Wellington: Huh!? Wh-Wh-What!? A baseball glove?? Phoenix: Doesn't it look delicious? Care for a bite? Wellington: Th-That's... Wellington: That's not... It's a... Noooooooo! Phoenix: Your Honor! I think this proves one very important fact! Phoenix: This witness... Phoenix: By the way, just how bad are your eyes? Wellington: Huh? How... What... You... Why are you asking me about this all of a sudden!? Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: Your Honor, it is very simple to mistake a glove for a bunch of bananas... Judge: No, I don't think so. Objection overruled. Wellington: Y-Y-You... You're one of those people. Yes, you know what I mean. Wellington: You're like those people who refused to accept Galileo for his Copernican Theory! Wellington: You're too used to your world view to realize that there are other, new possibilities! Wellington: Sure, in the end, we find out that it is in fact, a glove, not bananas. However... Wellington: when viewed from afar, I do think there is room enough for doubt, don't you...? Phoenix: And that is why I asked you how bad your eyesight is! Wellington: They're both 20/25. I suppose you're going to tell me that's terrible, right!? Judge: Why are you not wearing your glasses today then? Wellington: ... Wellington: Ummm... That's because I lost them recently, you see... Wellington: Of course, I was planning on getting a new pair made right away! Wellington: But you know, my glasses are no ordinary glasses, so to replace them-- Phoenix: How about when you witnessed the crime? Were you wearing your glasses then? Wellington: ...! Phoenix: How about it, witness!? Wellington: Y-You are an unrelenting, evil man. Wellington: You're like those people who rejected Joan of Arc and put her to death! Wellington: She was brave and courageous, only to be caught by horrible, unrighteous people. Wellington: And while she didn't do anything wrong, she was still gruesomely burned at the-- Phoenix: Which boils down to you were not wearing your glasses at that time! Phoenix: Therefore! Phoenix: The identity of the "woman" at the scene of the crime and that of the defendant Phoenix: can not be proven to be the same by this witness! Wellington: ...! Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: But the height difference was only 9 feet! Payne: It was very possible for him to see the face of the culprit standing on the upper path! Judge: Hmm... Witness. Judge: Please be more accurate in your testimony. Remember, a person's life is at stake. Wellington: Y-Yes, Your Honor! Judge: Now then, please continue with your testimony. Payne: Please tell the court what happened next, in the moments after you witnessed the crime. WITNESSTESTIMONY -- What Happened Next -- Wellington: The girl on the upper path ran away as soon as she realized I was there. Wellington: After that, I immediately called the police station to report the crime. Wellington: It must've been 6:45 PM when I made the call. Wellington: They must have a lot of free time on their hands since they showed up within 10 minutes. Judge: Hmm... Judge: So the person who was on the upper path saw you and then ran away. Wellington: Yes, that is correct. Wellington: Which is why, even someone without a superior brain like mine can understand that... Wellington: that girl is the murderer! Judge: You may question the witness now, Mr. Wright. CROSSEXAMINATION-- What Happened Next -- Wellington: The girl on the upper path ran away as soon as she realized I was there. Wellington: After that, I immediately called the police station to report the crime. Wellington: It must've been 6:45 PM when I made the call. Wellington: They must have a lot of free time on their hands since they showed up within 10 minutes. Phoenix: (I can't find anything out of the ordinary in his testimony...) Maya: Why don't you take one more look at the Court Record? Phoenix: Yeah, I guess I should. Phoenix: Mr. Wellington, would you please take a look at this? Judge: You mean the victim's autopsy report? Phoenix: According to this, the murder occurred at 6:28 PM. Wellington: So what of it? Phoenix: You said that you called the police immediately after the murder took place. Phoenix: However, by the time you had called the police, it was already 6:45 PM. Phoenix: There is clearly a 15 minute gap here! Do you deny it!? Wellington: Aaaack! Phoenix: I think this court would like to hear what you were doing during this 15 minute gap! Wellington: Grrrrrr! Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: The witness was in shock at the time after witnessing a terrible murder! Payne: It's only to be expected that he would be a little dazed... Phoenix:File:Objection.gif Phoenix: Fifteen minutes is hardly what I would call "a little dazed"! Payne: Aaaaah! Judge: Mr. Wellington. Wellington: Y-Yes? Judge: Explain yourself. What were you doing during those 15 minutes? Wellington: ... Phoenix: Answer the question! Wellington: ... I... Uhh... Telephone... Err... I mean... Phoenix: Spit it out! Wellington: I... I was searching for a phone booth! Phoenix: A phone booth? Judge: You mean, you don't have a cell phone? Wellington: ...! Wellington: You and your questions! As if you're trying to open all the layers of a Matryoshka doll. Wellington: You must think you're really something special! Phoenix: Witness! Wellington: I-I lost my cell phone! There! Are you happy!? Phoenix: You lost it...? Judge: Unbelievable! You lose your glasses, and your cell phone! Judge: You must be very scatterbrained when it comes to your belongings. Wellington: What!? Are you saying that first-rate people are never allowed to lose things!? Wellington: Haven't you ever heard that all geniuses have a strange quirk or two? Wellington: So by that rationale, since I have my own quirk, it would mean that I am a genius Wellington: I don't think simple, plain people like you can underst-- Judge: Enough! Phoenix: (Oh man, oh man...) Phoenix: (Wait! Hold on a second. He lost... his cell phone?) Maya: Nick! That cell phone! Could it be...? Phoenix: You mean this phone Maggey found? There's no way...! Phoenix: (Boy, I didn't see this coming. What should I do now...?) Phoenix: Mr. Wellington! Phoenix: Where is your cell phone right now? Wellington: Heh, what are you getting all excited about? You seem to be a little confused. Wellington: I found my phone, I'll have you know. See. Here is it. Phoenix: Oh... I see... Maya: Hmm, looks like he's got his phone. Maya: And I thought that just maybe this was his. Phoenix: Hmm... Judge: Well then, I think we've cleared this issue up. Judge: At the time of the murder, the witness did not have his cell phone because he had lost it. Judge: Therefore, the delay in his call was caused by his search for a phone booth. Wellington: Well, that's the gist of it. I guess you could put it that way and leave it at that. Judge: Do you have any further questions, Mr. Wright? Phoenix: Your Honor! The witness' testimony does not make sense! Phoenix: I don't believe that there was ever a need for the witness to search for a phone! Wellington: H-How dare you! Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: You can't just make outrageous claims like that! You do have some sort of proof, don't you? Phoenix: Well, yeah... O-Of course! (This evidence should be good enough, I think...) Judge: Alright. Let's have this proof, then. Judge: Please present proof that the witness had no need to search for a public phone booth! Phoenix: It's quite simple, actually. Please take a look at this. Judge: At the crime scene photo? Payne: Is there a problem with it? Phoenix: Oh, there's nothing wrong with the picture. Phoenix: But if you don't understand my logic after looking at it, something is wrong with you! Wellington: Noooo! Judge: It's... It's... A phone booth! Phoenix: That is correct! Phoenix: All the defendant had to do was walk three steps! Phoenix: Mr. Wellington! Why did you not use the phone that was right in front of you!? Wellington: Ooooooougn! Judge: Order! Order! Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: Wh-What does reporting the crime a little late prove for you!? Phoenix:File:Objection.gif Phoenix: The witness can't explain what he was doing for those 15 minutes! Phoenix: That is reason enough to throw suspicion on his testimony! Judge: Yes, this is very true. What do you have to say for yourself, witness!? Wellington: ... Maya: Then I bet this phone really is his, Nick! Maya: He must've killed Dustin to get his phone back! Phoenix: But Maggey said that she was going to return it to him. Phoenix: So there was no reason for him to kill for it. Phoenix: And on top of that, we still have the phone she found anyway. Maya: Hmm... But if he wasn't looking for his cell phone, Maya: was he looking for something else...? Phoenix: (Was he...?) Judge: Mr. Wright. Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor? Judge: Do you have any thoughts you would like to share with the court? Judge: Can you offer an explanation as to what the witness was doing during those 15 minutes? Judge: Alright. Let's hear your explanation. Judge: However, be forewarned that if your explanation is not persuasive, Judge: you will be penalized. Think carefully before you present, Mr. Wright. Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor! Phoenix: (Urk. I probably shouldn't have said there was only one possibility...) Judge: Please present to the court the one piece of evidence that will answer the following: Judge: "Why didn't the witness call the police right away?" Phoenix: Mr. Wellington! Wellington: Wh-What!? Don't do that! You almost made me have a heart attack! Phoenix: These are your glasses, aren't they? Wellington: Ah! Where... Where did you find--!? Ghaaaa! Phoenix: I believe the court all heard what you just confessed to: Phoenix: That these glasses are in fact yours! Phoenix: I'll tell you where they were found, Mr. Wellington. Phoenix: These glasses were found under the victim's body. Wellington: U-Under the v-victim's body!? Judge: Order! Order! Wellington: N-Now, w-wait a second! Hold on! Wellington: I-I didn't confess or confirm a-any-anything! Phoenix: Your Honor! I think the answer is quite clear here! Phoenix: As he fell, Dustin Prince grabbed the culprit's glasses. Phoenix: The culprit knew that he had to find his glasses, and searched frantically for them. Phoenix: What he didn't realize was that they were under the victim's body! Phoenix: And that is why it took him 15 minutes to make that call! Judge: M-Mr. Wright! Are you...? Judge: Are you indicting the witness as the real murderer!? Phoenix: Of course! That is precisely what I am doing! Wellington: Oooo...OOOOWAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Phoenix: (I know I'm right!) Phoenix: (He is the real murderer!) Maya: Did you figure it out, Nick!? Phoenix: More or less. Phoenix: Turns out this cell phone was the key to this case after all. Phoenix: Anyway, now is our chance to deep-six this guy. Phoenix: I'll sink him in one shot! Maya: Yeah! Maya: This is so exciting, watching you work again! Phoenix: (Somehow, my old self is coming back to me.) Phoenix: (It's time to sink or swim; everything rests on the edge of a knife!) Phoenix: (This is the moment I've been waiting for...) Judge: Order! Order! Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: Your Honor! The defense... The defense is making a mockery of this court! Payne: Without any solid ground to stand on, he accuses the witness of being the murderer! Wellington: Y-Y-Yeah! That-That's right! Wellington: I... I'm no criminal! Wellington: Th-This third-rate, fraud of a lawyer... Phoenix: In that case, why don't we look at it from a different perspective. Phoenix: Let's hear your explanation as to why you are NOT the murderer! Wellington: Why, that's... That's easy... Um... Uh... Wellington: For example... There's um... The name the victim wrote! What about that...? Phoenix: Oh, you mean the name "Maggie"? Wellington: Y-Yeah! Even an idiot like you can read that, right? Phoenix: But we already know this was not written by the victim himself. Phoenix: After all, the defendant's name is "Maggey" and the victim was left-handed. Judge: So basically, you are saying that in order to make the defendant look guilty, Judge: the real criminal used the victim's right hand to write her name on the ground? Wellington: B-But... But, but!! Wellington: Wouldn't that mean that the real criminal was someone the defendant knew? Wellington: Otherwise, how else would that person know her name was "Maggie", er "Maggey"!? Judge: That is a good point. Judge: The witness didn't even know of Ms. Byrde before this trial. Phoenix: (Ah, I forgot!) Phoenix: (Hmm, was there any way this creep could've known Maggey's name beforehand?) Phoenix: (It would be best if I could prove that the witness had a chance to learn...) Phoenix: (that the defendant's name was "Maggey".) Judge: Now, will the defense please present its case? Judge: How could the witness have known the defendant's name? Phoenix: Mr. Wellington. Phoenix: You didn't have your cell phone with you on the day of the murder, correct? Wellington: So what if I didn't? Phoenix: When you realized you had lost it, what did you do? Wellington: What did I do? Phoenix: Didn't you try to find it by calling it? Wellington: Why you...! How did you...!? Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: Your Honor! These questions have nothing to do with... Judge: Overruled. Judge: Mr. Wright, where are you going with this line of questioning? Judge: Do you think there is some relation between this witness' cell phone and the murder? Phoenix: I do, Your Honor. Phoenix: On the day of the murder, Maggey Byrde picked up a lost phone in the park. Phoenix: And! Phoenix: She also received a phone call from the owner of the phone! Phone: ............... Phone: ...*beep*... Byrde: "Um, hello?" ? ? ?: "Oh, thank you! I've been searching for my phone." Byrde: "Is this yours? Oh, I'm glad you called! We can meet up and I can give this back!" ? ? ?: "I'll be right there, um... I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name..." Byrde: "You can call me Maggey!" Phoenix: That was when you learned that her name was "Maggey"! Wellington: Uh, um, nnngh... Phoenix: But you made one fatal mistake. Judge: Fatal mistake? Phoenix: My client's name is "Maggey" but the name that was written on the ground was "Maggie". Phoenix: This is a mistake that could only occur if all you knew was how her name sounded! Wellington: EEEEEEEEEK! Judge: Order! Order! Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: B-But, Your Honor! Payne: The witness has no motive! Judge: And your point is? Payne: It's very simple, Your Honor. A person usually would not kill someone without a reason. Payne: Mr. Wellington had no reason to kill anyone! Wellington: That is absolutely correct! I don't have a motive! Judge: Hmm... Mr. Wright. Phoenix: Your Honor? Judge: Can you explain what motive this witness could have had? Phoenix: ... Phoenix: It's very simple, Your Honor. Wellington: ...! Maya: Are you sure, Nick!? Phoenix: If I said I can't offer an explanation, then the trial's over, right? Maya: Yeah, but... Judge: Now then, please present to this court proof that the witness had a motive! Wellington: You... You looked up all those numbers...? Phoenix: Of course. Phoenix: This list of phone numbers was stored in the cell phone's memory. Phoenix: The names and numbers belong to people who are members of a certain con artists' group. Payne: Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What!? C-C-Con artists!? Phoenix: Can you explain why these numbers were on your phone, Mr. Wellington!? Wellington: Th-This... This is an outrage! An invasion of privacy! Wellington: Looking up the phone numbers on a person's phone is a worse crime than murder! Wellington: Y-You're one of those people! Wellington: You're just like the cops who raided that brilliant artist, Maurice Utrillo's atelier! Wellington: They disrupted a genius at work and interrupted his dialogue with the Goddess of-- Phoenix: I don't care, Mr. Wellington! Phoenix: All I want is for you to tell us what this list is about! Wellington: Do you think you -- any of you, can know what it's like to be a refined man like me!? Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: Your Honor! This-This is... This is unjust badgering of the witness! Judge: Objection overruled. Judge: Mr. Wright! What is the meaning of this!? Judge: Why would the witness have the numbers of a group of con artists on his phone!? Phoenix: Isn't that obvious!? The witness is... Phoenix: Mr. Wellington is a member of this very group! Wellington: Nooooo! Phoenix: All of your "friends'" phone numbers are stored right here on this phone. Phoenix: If anyone were to look into these phone numbers, it would be all over for you. Phoenix: That is why you had to kill. Wellington: Noooo! This is tooooo much!! Judge: Hmm, that does make quite a bit of sense. Judge: Well, Mr. Wellington? Would you care to explain? Wellington: ... I... Um, I... Phoenix: (I got you now!) Wellington: I... I... That... I... That police officer... Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: Your Honor! Judge: What is it, Mr. Payne? Payne: Your Honor! This-This is... This... This is unjust badgering of the witness! Judge: You said the exact same thing only a few seconds ago. Payne: P-P-P-P-Please! Payne: Please, let's think about the content of that phone call! Phone: ...*beep*... Byrde: "Um, hello?" ? ? ?: "Oh, thank you! I've been searching for my phone." Byrde: "Is this yours? Oh, I'm glad you called! We can meet up and I can give this back!" Payne: The defendant had already promised that she would return the phone. Payne: After that, all Mr. Wellington had to do was meet Ms. Byrde to get his phone back. Payne: Why, then, would he need to kill anyone!? Judge: Hmm... That is a valid point. Judge: What does the defense think about this point? Phoenix: (Hmm...) Phoenix: (If you think about it logically, then it makes sense...) Maya: Then maybe we should be thinking outside the box! Phoenix: (Yeah! If we think like that... Let's see...) Phoenix: (Maybe that slimeball saw something at the crime scene that made him commit murder.) Judge: Your thoughts, Mr. Wright? Phoenix: Hmm, well... Phoenix: I don't think Mr. Wellington went to pick up his phone in a very friendly manner. Payne: But he was promised his phone, so why would he have been unfriendly to the defendant? Phoenix: I think he must have seen something that didn't agree with him when he got there. Judge: Well, then Mr. Wright... Judge: What was this "something" that didn't agree with the witness? Phoenix: What Mr. Wellington saw was... the victim. Payne: T-The... The victim!? You mean Dustin Prince!? Phoenix: Dustin Prince had gone on his date right after his shift was over. Phoenix: With no time to change, he went to the park still wearing his police uniform! Judge: Oh! Phoenix: He couldn't have known they were going out so he began to worry. Phoenix: He was afraid the policeman would ask a few questions before returning the phone. Phoenix: In his mind, it was possible they had already run a check on the phone! Judge: And he went into a panic, is what you're saying? Phoenix: Exactly. Phoenix: Officer Prince was murdered simply because he was in uniform! Judge: Mr. Payne. Do you have any comments? Payne: I, um... I'm thinking... Judge: Hmm, it seems the truth has come out at last. Judge: The witness... Mr. Wellington, you are-- Wellington: Ha... Ah ha ha... Wellington: Ahahahahahahaaahahaahahaahaha hahahaHahahaAhahahahahaHahaha HahhaahaAAAHAHAhhahahahah Wellington: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAWAHA HAHAHAHAWAHAHAHAHAWAHA AHAHAHWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA Wellington: Ha ha ha ha... Impressive... Not bad for a person with a third-rate education... Phoenix: What's that supposed to mean!? Wellington: The evidence... Evidence! Maya: Uuugh! That guy is really creeping me out-- Wellington: All you've been waving around and talking about is that "suspicious" cell phone. Wellington: Suspicious phone number this, suspicious con group that! They're all on that phone! Wellington: But who's to say that phone is really mine!? Where's your proof!? Your evidence!? Phoenix: You want proof that this phone is yours? Wellington: Ahahahaha! Ahehehehehe! I already told you earlier! Wellington: That phone I lost -- I've already found it! Wellington: You don't have even the slightest idea who the phone in your hand belongs to! Wellington: You can be sure it isn't mine, you simpleton! Phoenix: WHAT!? Wellington: Hehehehe... Heh... Hehehehe... It feels good to see you squirm. Judge: Hmm... We do seem to have a problem on our hands with this phone. Judge: Whose phone is it? Without knowing that, it's meaningless as evidence. Phoenix: Your Honor! Phoenix: (This is bad... I can't let him turn the tables on me like this!!) Phoenix: (Hmm... This cell phone...) Phoenix: (There has to be something I've overlooked. There's got to be! Hmm... Maybe...) Wellington: How many times do I have to say this: my phone is right here! You see? Wellington: Oh, and incidentally, you can't check the numbers stored on this phone. Wellington: It must have glitched because all the numbers just magically disappeared! Phoenix: (You've got to be joking! He erased all the numbers I was going to use as evidence!) Phoenix: ... Phoenix: Mr. Wellington... Wellington: What's this? Wellington: From the way you talk to me, it sounds like you still have some fight left in you. Phoenix: Where did you finally find your cell phone!? Wellington: ... Wellington: ...Heh heh heh... Wellington: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, you are too much! Wellington: And of course you have no idea what I'm talking about! Phoenix: ...? ... Phoenix: I... I... Oh my g-- NOW I REMEMBER!! Phone: ............ Phone: ...*beep*... Phoenix: Huh, looks like they hung up. ? ? ?: Ah, good. I finally found it. Phoenix: (So that's when...) Wellington: What's wrong, Mr. Attorney? Why the harsh glare in your eyes...? Maya: Nick! We've worked so hard to get this far, but Maya: if you don't do something quick, he's going to get off scot-free! Phoenix: I know. Phoenix: (I know this phone has to be his...) Phoenix: (But how am I supposed to prove something like that!?) Judge: Mr. Wright. Judge: If you cannot prove who the owner of that cell phone is, Judge: your indictment has no basis, and therefore, no power. Judge: It looks like you came up a penny short. Phoenix: (Where...? Where did I go wrong...?) Wellington: Don't blame yourself, you're merely a third-rate lawyer. Wellington: You only made one big mistake. Wellington: Who are you? What are you? That's something you haven't figured out for yourself yet. Phoenix: (Who... I am?) Judge: The court hereby concludes the cross-examination! Wellington: Heh heh heh... Wellington: If that will be all, I'll have to bid you gentlemen and ladies goodbye. Wellington: I have a reservation at that ultra-fancy restaurant on the upper side of town. Payne: Thank you for your assistance. You've had a stressful day, so please, bon appetite! Phoenix: (What am I supposed to do!? Am I supposed to just let it go at that?) Phoenix: Please wait, Your Honor! Maya: Alright, Nick! Phoenix: I think I may be able to prove it! Judge: "Prove it...?" Prove what, Mr. Wright? Phoenix: Everything! Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: Y-Your Honor! The cross- examination has already ended! Payne: If he questions the witness with any more of his badgering... Judge: You will not harass the witness. Is that clear, Mr. Wright? Wellington: Did you hear that? No harassment allowed, Mr. Attorney. Phoenix: Please, Your Honor! Judge: ... Judge: Very well. But this is your last chance, Mr. Wright. Phoenix: ...! Judge: You may present one piece of evidence to the court. Phoenix: (I only get one shot at this!) Judge: If you cannot "prove" everything... Judge: It's over. For your client, and for you. Judge: Do you fully understand? Phoenix: Yes, Your Hon- Payne:File:Objection.gif Payne: I'm sure you are well aware, Your Honor, but the cross- examination period has ended! Judge: Were you paying attention, Mr. Payne? Judge: I said that Mr. Wright could present only one more piece of evidence. Payne: Oh... Judge: Now then, Mr. Wright. This is your last chance. Phoenix: (It all comes down to this! It's Go time!) Judge: Please present the one piece of evidence that will explain everything! Judge: Why, thank you. How nice. Judge: Here, please have one of mine. Judge: Wait, what am I doing!? This isn't the time to be exchanging business cards! Phoenix: Your Honor. Phoenix: There is something very important about that card. And that is... Phoenix: This card is important because of what is on the back! Maya: Hmm? You wrote your cell phone number on the back, but... Phoenix: But that's exactly it. Phoenix: Can you please call this number from your cell phone? Maya: Huh? Right now!? But court is still in session! Phoenix: It's OK. You'll see. Maya: OK, if you say so. Judge: Is the defense preparing something, Mr. Wright? Phoenix: We are going to call my cell phone now. Phoenix: And then the court will see everything for what it is! Wellington: O-Of all the idiotic, stupid things to... Phone: ................ Wellington: Aaagh! Wellington: Wh-What!? Why is my phone...? Wellington: And what is with this stupid- sounding ringtone!? Phone: ...*beep*... Phoenix: Mr. Wellington. Wellington: ...! Phoenix: Hmm... How strange... Phoenix: I could almost swear that you're holding MY phone! Wellington: Y-Your... Wellington: AAAAAAAAAAAH! No, no, no, no, no! It can't...!! Phoenix: By the way, before I forget, thank you very much for the lump on my head this morning. Wellington: Nnnnngh... Phoenix: I don't think I need to explain any further, except to say: Phoenix: When you went to retrieve your cell phone, you mistakenly took the wrong one! Wellington: ...Mmgh... Wellington: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Wellington: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Wellington: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Wellington: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAaaaaaaaagggggggghhhnn! Judge: So that is what happened. You were knocked out by Mr. Wellington... Phoenix: He is a man who lives on his pride and self-image alone. Phoenix: And in order to hide his involvement with the con artists' group, Phoenix: he has become paranoid, and has lost all ability to make rational judgments. Judge: Hmm... Payne: Then... Then, Mr. Wright... The phone you're holding... Phoenix; It's Mr. Wellington's, naturally. Judge: Speaking of that man, how is he, Mr. Payne? Payne: Ah, he was arrested and has been taken away, Your Honor. Judge: Very well. Judge: Now then, this court finds the defendant, Maggey Byrde... Not Guilty Judge: That is all. This court is adjourned! September 8, 2:16 PMDistrict Court Defendant Lobby No. 1 Byrde: I knew that the real you would shine through eventually! Byrde: I am so moved by what you've done for me, sir! Byrde: Thank you so much, Mr. Wright! Maya: I feel really bad for Dustin. He didn't do anything to deserve this... Byrde: ... It's probably because of me... Phoenix: Huh? Byrde: My whole life has been nothing but a whirlwind of bad luck and failures. Maya: Your whole life? It couldn't have been that bad, could it? Byrde: Since I was 6 months old, when I fell from the 9th floor of my apartment building, Byrde: I've been hit by all sorts of vehicles, gotten sick from all sorts of foods, Byrde: failed at almost every test I've ever taken, experienced almost every kind of disaster, Byrde: and never won or even tied at a game of tic-tac-toe! Byrde: My life has really been nothing but a string of disasters. Phoenix: That is, uh... pretty bad... Byrde: Up until I went to college, I was known as the "Goddess of Misfortune". Byrde: And then, at the academy, everyone called me "Lady Luckless". Maya: "Lady Luckless"... Byrde: What's worse is that my misfortune always seems to latch onto those around me. Maya: What do you mean? Byrde: When I see someone in trouble, I always try to help... Phoenix: Ah, that's right. You were talking about this earlier. Byrde: It happened again recently, too, sir. Byrde: There was an old lady pacing back and forth by the pedestrian crosswalk. Byrde: I gave her my hand and... Byrde: before I knew it, we were having dinner at my house. Maya: ... Oh. Byrde: I'm sure that Dustin's gone because of me... Maya: That's not true! Byrde: That glove didn't even have any sort of special meaning. Byrde: It was just a present to say thanks for covering one of my night shifts. Maya: Oh, I see... Byrde: Everything is all my fault! Dustin's death, Byrde: your head being all messed up... Phoenix: Uh, well, I don't think my head is that messed up yet... Byrde: I'm going to find a new life for myself starting now. Byrde: The next time we meet, I'm sure I'll... Byrde: I'm sure I'll have found a whole ocean's worth of good luck by then, sir! Phoenix: Yeah. After all, the "Goddess of Misfortune" is only a name! Byrde: You bet! I'm gonna make it! I promise! Byrde: Next time we meet, I'll only be an "Unlucky Person", instead of a goddess! Phoenix: Y-Yeah! That's the spirit! Byrde: Well, Mr. Wright, Maya, I should get going. Maya: OK! Good luck to you! Byrde: Thanks! You take care of yourselves, too! Phoenix:
* sigh* What a horrible day... Phoenix: I've gotten my memory back, but things are still a little fuzzy... Maya: But you're OK, and that's what counts. You really had me worried! Maya: Come on, let's go back to the office. Phoenix: (Hmm... I'm afraid to ask, but here goes...) Phoenix: So, this might sound bad, but... uh... Who are you...? Maya: What!? Maya: I thought you said you got your memory back! Phoenix: (At that moment,) Phoenix: (everything really did come back to me...) Detective Gumshoe... He's someone I've had clashes with in the past during certain cases. But he's also been a good ally during others. The Judge... He's a lovable, kind old man who is easily swayed by other people's opinions. But in the end, he always comes up with the right verdict. ... This person... I haven't got a clue... He seems to know me, but maybe he's mistaking me for someone else...? Phoenix: (And this girl...) ...Maya...? Maya: You... You finally remembered! Phoenix: (This is Maya Fey, my assistant.) Phoenix: (That's right... I have so many unforgettable memories about her.) Phoenix: (For example...) Maya: Earth to Nick! What's wrong? Maya: You keep staring at me! Don't tell me you've missed me? Phoenix: Uh, well, yeah I suppose I have. Phoenix: I feel like I haven't seen you in ages. Maya: Oh? Maya: Well, I'm back now. So it's time for us to create new memories together! Phoenix: Alright. Sounds good. Phoenix: (All the phone numbers on my phone were erased by Mr. Wellington.) Phoenix: (I guess I have to start over from the very beginning...) Maya: Come on, Nick! Let's go to our usual burger joint! Phoenix: OK, OK. Phoenix: (Actually, it hasn't even been two months since she came back into my life.) Episode 1: The Lost Turnabout THE END
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