| abstract
| - Meet John Conquest, AKA Ghost, King of the Mexicans, a racist, tiger shrimp-eating, flamboyant, morbidly obese, shapeshifting Canadian Jewish lizard who abuses his family, proclaims his love of My Little Pony, and takes advantage of the welfare system all the while having a torrid affair with Herman Cain and pining after Sarah Palin. ...well, if you listen to his fans, anyway. Ghost is actually a Texan pundit who broadcasts True Capitalist Radio on blogtalkradio.com. He is an ardent capitalist (at least he calls himself one on every possible occasion; True Materialist Radio might be a more appropriate name for the program), and his show goes through the usual topics, starting with the markets, then on to coverage of recent political headlines. And like all good political talk shows, he also frequently takes calls from listeners. Here in lies the problem (at least for him, anyway). Listeners have noticed that he has a short temper when it comes to certain topics (check that, he has a short temper towards a lot of topics), and as such, viewers have discovered that he is very easy to troll. Much to his dismay, this makes the show start off serious but then quickly go off course more and more towards the end of the show, where the Radio Graffiti segment (rapid-fire calls with no real topic) pretty much turns into a punching match between him and the people who persistently try to test his patience (often successfully). This has lead to a large rogues gallery of trolls and characters that call him up and interact with him in various entertaining ways. Though, when he's not raging, Ghost is a relatively good pundit (if you, er, share his views); he knows where the money is, and he knows how his listeners can get in the action themselves (unless they're doing it with welfare checks, of course) All the noteworthy episodes are available on Youtube. If you're an actual capitalist looking to learn something from him, you might want to listen to some of the older ones, which can be found here. There has been much speculation regarding whether Ghost is genuine in his antics, or if he's a Troll. Following the show's (alleged) cancellation on May 23, 2012, it was revealed in a final chat session that both sides are sort of right. His rages were exaggerated and he is, in fact, friends with the troll Amy Daly, but he was also a Texan capitalist and a genuinely angry man when he started the show- three hours a day of ranting about politics and being trolled helped him get it all out of his system. However, knowing his nature, it is likely all of this is suspect and that this may be a hiatus.
* Abhorrent Admirer: Amy Daly and Tri$ha are both in love with Ghost.
* Actually Pretty Funny: Despite his feuds with The Ghetto Capitalist, even Ghost admitted that Ghetto Capitalist making his baby cry like T-Pain was actually funny.
* Angrish: Sometimes Ghost rages so hard he can't form a simple word. Especially in his earlier, pre-brony broadcasts.
* The Engineer speaks this as his first language.
* A Day in the Limelight: On 12/6/11, the Engineer hosted the end of the show, and again on 1/09/12. Ghost was not happy.
* And Your Little Dog, Too: Ghost threatens trolls who really piss him off with tracking them, go to their houses, beat their asses, bang their wife, beat their dog and drown their goldfish.
* Ascended Meme: Ghost is now actually fond of NavyHuskie's "Taco Tuesday" remix, mainly because it declares him the "king of Mexicans", and its about his favorite day (ignoring the parts where he calls himself a hambone and the "king of racist", of course)
* Tara Strong (a My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic voice actor) uses the term "melting pot of friendship." Also, as he ended his show, she tweeted him saying "I don't know u, but the fans love u, so u must be #twilightlicous...& your rant about that lil song made me laugh.."
* And unlike Mike Pollock, even after she found out the significance of the term, she said she'd still very gladly do voice requests for fans, actually finding the meme pretty funny. So Tara Strong.... you ARE a champion!
* Artifact Title: Apparently, the show used to be called "True Conservative Radio", boy things have changed.
* According to Ghost, he changed the title because of Sarah Palin.
* The current title qualifies as well- the show is more well-known and beloved for the antics of the trolls and Ghost's reactions than for its capitalistic aspects.
* Author Avatar: The skeleton face he uses as his logo is used as one.
* When trolls found the exact same skeleton face he had as his logo on a website for an online radio station in Texas, Third Coast Radio, conspiracy theories began to develop that Ghost may be associated with them somehow, or he simply stole it. When finally confronted with topic, Ghost confessed that it came from a Google Image Search for "texas skull and crossbones", as he was trying to find a new Paltalk avatar (and then, it later stuck). The same day, he also announced that he would be taking submissions for a new logo. As of December 8, 2011, he changed his avatar to a different variant of the old one.
* Awesome McCoolname: DJ Thuggin-Ass, Cosmo Brockington, John Conquest.
* Fail O'Suckyname: Many twitter names are this deliberately, so that Ghost will say disgusting things when he's giving shoutouts. Prince of Excrement, the Poopticklers, Sandusky Shower Attendant, Isle of Sandusky, Isle of Russia, Herman Caindusky, Gaydolf Shitler, etc.
* The Whoremaster is a healthy dose of both Awesome McCoolname and Fail O'Suckyname.
* Berserk Button: The big four: claiming he's something he's not (i.e. racist, hambone, Jewish, etc.), talking about My Little Pony, making audio splices/remixes of him, or insulting his family (particularly his son, granddaughter or granny). Of course, there's probably way more.
* Howard Stern. Nuff said. And don't you dare mention Alex Jones.
* He has also avidly criticized the welfare system, as he believes that people on welfare often contribute nothing to society, and simply live what they can off taxpayers' money. He thinks that this is what is turning the country into "Junkyard America"
* When it comes to music, Eminem and the Dave Matthews Band hit his button the hardest.
* Recently, he's gotten ultra-angry at people playing splices of him as calls to other shows.
* Of course, since he's from Austin, you do not insult the Longhorns. Or praise the Oklahoma Sooners.
* After a user by the name of Adolf Ghostler posted what sounds like Ghost acting as if he were Hitler, many trolls started referring to him as Ghostler. Needless to say, Ghost now hates being called Ghostler.
* One troll was even fooling enough to question Radio Graffiti and the way he runs it... Let's just say Ghost did not take it well...
* Taken Up to Eleven with a recent broadcast: people being born in the Spring enrages him.
* Playing advertisements for other stuff, enraging Ghost and his capitalistic lifestyle.
* TIIIIIIIIIGER SHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMP
* Mocking KaraszKun can send him into impressive rages.
* Big Damn Heroes: Senator Pooptickler and a group of assorted bronies and capitalists came to Ghost's rescue on January 31st, 2012, trolling Celticbrony and convincing the Prognosticator of Prognosticators not to quit the show.
* Black Comedy: Some of the Twitter names can also fall into this trope.
* Bittersweet Ending: Bitter in that the show had a lot of life left in it and a tiger shrimp/Karaszkun story arc of sorts looked like it was about to get off the ground before being abruptly cut off; sweet in that everybody involved gets a pretty happy ending.
* Black Comedy Rape: "The next subject I'd like to talk about is... rape."
* Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: A caller starts out talking about TSA airport security, then abruptly goes into a very graphic description of him masturbating at the airport.
* Breather Episode: The December 24th show can be considered this.
* Brick Joke: Throughout October, trolls called in wishing Ghost a merry Christmas, causing him to rage that it wasn't even Halloween yet. And then, months later, in the Christmas show...
* Butt Monkey: Ghost is the butt monkey of his own show!
* Camp Gay: Caller 111/The Internet Buttstalker, who calls in a ridiculously effeminate voice while making very suggestive requests.
* Canadia, Eh?: Ghost seems to have a thing against Canada for some reason...
*
* According to Ghost he hates Canada because they booed the national anthem a few days after 9/11.
* Catch Phrase: There are just way too many things he says on a regular basis:
*
* Reactions
*
* Rage mode
*
* And the Trolls
* The Chessmaster: CelticBrony claimed to be this after his doxxing, but few actually believed him until months later, when Ghost's twitter account was hacked and it turned out that he wasn't lying about having a master plan. Apparently MrTacoz and Ibanezzo were in on it the whole time, and the NCF were involved somehow.
* Chew Toy: Ghost just keeps doggedly ploughing calls as troll after troll drive him to rage and Angrish, and that's why he's popular.
* Christmas Episode: September 19, 2011 almost seemed like one. Just yesterday he had revealed that he thought it was too early for Christmas Songs. Of course, it backfired, in the usual ways.
* December 24, 2011: Ghost did a legitimate Christmas Eve special.
* Clip Show: December 31, 2011 brought the "Ghosties", a listener-voted awards show that honored the trolls. Among other things, "Melting Pot of Alcohol" got Best Remix, "Inspector Hambone" for best splice, Surgeradio.org guy for best fail troll, CelticBrony for best brony, and Ghetto Capitalist for best troll.
* Comically Missing the Point: If you're going to use the "I have black friends" cliché to prove you're not a racist, don't go on to claim you also have friends who are "wop", "camel jockey" and "kraut".
* He also managed to pull this on some Stealth Pun names.
* Conspiracy Theorist: During the 5/15/2012 broadcast, he claims that the Moon landings were faked.
* Corpsing: On June 21st, Ghost can be heard trying to stifle a laugh at a Skype troll's name.
* On May 4th 2012, Tub Guy can be heard breaking when telling Ghost he convinced Hasbro to make a Pony based on Ghost.
* Crack Pairing (In-Universe): There's a chatroom user called "Asho Banged Tub-Guy."
* Cowboy Bebop at His Computer: Ghost from time to time gets his facts wrong on multiple subjects.
* He thinks Touhou is an "ani-mee" foot fetish.
* Curse Cut Short: Sound effect variant. Sometimes when Ghost gets really angry, his swears are cut short by him throwing cans everywhere.
* Day of the Week Name: Taco Tuesday, Baller Friday.
* However, he does not want the show to turn into Carpet Munching Monday, Fruitbowl Wednesday, or Bathhouse Thursday.
* Deconstruction Fic: Predictably, in response to all the pony-hate he propagates "THROUGHOUT THE WORLD!", someone got the bright idea to do a complete send-up of Ghost's show, but discussing My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic instead; complete with calling people "carrotbowls" and hating on capitalists. The result? True Equestrian Radio.
* Department of Redundancy Department: "Slanderous lies".
* "All you remixing jerks are jerks".
* Ghost used the term "old vieja" one day, "vieja" is actually Spanish for "old woman"
* "Don't be a deaf-mute with nothing to say."
* "The idiots from the top are idiots."
* The 'Melting Pot of Racist' splice.
* Despair Event Horizon: The cancellation of the show at the end of February was this for many trolls.
* Hope Spot: Ghost came back for two Taco Tuesdays in the middle of March, leading listeners to believe he was genuinely back- but it would be toward the end of April that he would actually resume regular shows.
* And then those regular shows would be abruptly cut off by the actual cancellation of the show on May 24th, making them into a Hope Spot as well.
* Disproportionate Retribution: On 9/29/11, a caller simply said "Fuck you". Ghost decided to harass that caller by calling him back repeatedly, then leaves a message on the phone hoping his mother hears, and even lies and says the caller traumatized his dead grandmother.
* Ghost's reaction to CelticBrony trying to dox him was to not only dox him back, but to dox any trolls connected with him and run them off the internet, then encourage Celtic to commit suicide.
* Dumb Is Good: In the October 18's broadcast, Ghost expresses a love for the mentally retarded.
* Early-Bird Cameo: KaraszKun was given a twitter shoutout right before the Ghosties awards on December 31st, 2011.
* Early Installment Weirdness: Up until 2010, his show was really a fairly ordinary, if rather extreme, far-right radio show.
* Ensemble Cast: Oh yes. Even discounting the main crew of trolls and capitalists, there are a massive number of splicers who usually show up on twitter or call in only occasionally (The Harbingerr, Navy Huskie, Alex S, Elfoxoloco, DarkRazorZ, etc.)
* Even Evil Has Standards: Although Ghost says nasty things about Barack Obama, on 9/8/11, he really called out on a caller for saying he's going to snipe the president, saying he should be sent to authorities.
* He even called out people on Twitter that had names mocking Steve Jobs' death on 10/5/11.
* He got really pissed when someone made a crack about the 2011 Japan tsunami/nuclear leak.
* This video.
* One of his recent catchphrases is "DEATH TO BASHAR AL-ASSAD!", due to the Syrian president's violent crackdown on protesters, and the death of thousands.
* He has called out the Stop Online Piracy Act and the Protect-IP act.
* He's also shown his contempt for Jerry Sandusky.
* He thinks people went too far with the "gingers have no souls" thing.
* He was offended at being compared to Rush Limbaugh.
* Back in February, he called out Tommy Jordan for bad parenting and using his internet fame(based entirely on Jordan bad mouthing his daughter and shooting her laptop) for attention whoring.
* He called out someone that was making fun of the Columbine school shooting during the April 20 Radio Graffiti segment.
* He said Bullets4Bronies was going too far.
* He got very angry at some twitter names mocking MCA's death.
* Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": The Engineer.
* Ghost himself, which is obviously not his real name.
* Exact Words: He said that your mother was at T.G.I. Friday's looking for "Alabama black snake." Presumably ABS is an obscure cocktail that few of us have heard of, and not a black man's penis?
* Fanwork Ban: Implied, since Ghost isn't really amused by soundboards, splices (which often take things he has said, and either take them comically out of context, or re-arranges them, simply to make him rage), and remixes of himself. However, this may be more because he thinks they damage the integrity of his show or make fun of him.
* Ironically, despite this hate of people mashing him up to make him rage, he actually objects to the Stop Online Piracy Act because he supports the creation of independent content that the internet allows.
* Even more ironic, is that he dedicated New Year's Eve to honoring them.
* Fat Bastard: Ghost actually called one of his younger trolls this. The troll reacted by pretending to have an orgasm.
* Face Heel Turn: Equestrian Citizen revealed himself to be a white guy using a voice changer and promptly began sucking up to Ghost.
* Five-Man Band:
* Early lineup:
* The Hero — Internet Buttstalker
* The Lancer — Spermy the Cat
* The Smart Guy — Tzeki
* The Big Guy — IbanEzzo
* The Chick — The Aborted Fetus
* The Sixth Ranger — Celtic Brony
* Modern lineup:
* The Hero — Ghetto Capitalist
* The Lancer — Tub Guy
* The Smart Guy — 347/SUCK MAH DIIICK Guy (he's been shown to be surprisingly clever at impersonating other trolls, and carrying on long legitimate conversations before interrupting them with his catchphrase.)
* The Big Guy — Equestrian Citizen
* The Chick — Asho
* The Sixth Ranger — Xarahox
* The splicers/twitter trolls:
* The Hero — DarkRazorZ
* The Lancer — NavyHuskie
* The Smart Guy — CosmoBrockington
* The Big Guy — FatMarshall
* The Chick — Fapitalist
* The Sixth Ranger — Coodoo17
* Ghost's Personas
* The Hero — John Conquest
* The Lancer — Ghostler
* The Smart Guy — Lizard Ghost
* The Big Guy — Hambone Ghost
* The Chick — Goat
* Five-Bad Band:
* Early lineup:
* The Big Bad — Ghost
* The Dragon — Gasgara
* The Evil Genius — The Engineer
* The Brute — Goofy Bone
* The Dark Chick — Debi Daly
* Modern lineup:
* The Big Bad — Ghost
* The Dragon — Senator Pooptickler
* The Evil Genius — The Engineer
* The Brute — KaraszKun
* The Dark Chick — SuspiciousTumbleweed
* Sixth Ranger Traitor — Celtic Brony (briefly), Equestrian Citizen
* Forced Meme: Ghost tried to advocate the use of the term "hambone" to insult what he considers to be overweight people who contribute nothing to society. The trolls gladly helped it become a popular meme... by splicing clips of Ghost calling himself a hambone.
* Game Mod: True Capitalist Doom: Bronies on Earth. Replacing various weapons and powerups with various happenings on the show, such as a "Can crusher" shotgun, a pearl launcher as the rocket launcher, a hadoken for the BFG or invulnerability being "Chatroom Martial Law". Although the enemy sprites weren't changed, they did receive some voices and names such as the Fruitbowl (Imp) or FU Texas Beast (Cyber Demon, which of course, plays "Fuck You Texas" when it comes out).
* Ghost himself claimed he actually liked the DOOM mod.
* Giant Space Flea From Nowhere: The NCF (or someone claiming to be a member, at least) suddenly hacking Ghost and making him quit True Capitalist Radio on May 23rd.
* Godzilla Threshold: After Newt Gingrich won the South Carolina primary, Ghost was so disgusted with the crop of Republican candidates that he considered supporting Ron Paul.
* He has also considered moving to "Canadia" since, in his words, they're getting more capitalist than America
* Hair-Trigger Temper: This guy rages at almost anything; claiming he's something he's not (i.e. racist, hambone, etc.), playing a Stupid Statement Dance Mix, "splicing" his voice or augmenting wave files, mentioning anything to do with My Little Pony or his family, making light of Texas (especially the drought and wildfires, etc.), playing Christmas music, playing Oklahoma University's Boomer Sooner song, Howard Stern, the list goes on and on. Most of the time, it's hard to tell what won't make him rage. Except for staying on his topic.
* Hell, even staying on topic makes him rage sometimes. Just having a voice he doesn't like makes him think "Your voice doesn't fit my idea of machismo, therefore, you're destroying America and your point is moot." This even happened with a caller who agreed with him on 10/4/11.
* He even makes himself rage. This is especially prominent in his early shows.
* He-Man Woman Hater: Ghost. His misogyny knows no bounds.
* Hidden Depths: Darker example. The Engineer is a racist, and Ghetto Capitalist wants to incite a race war.
* Hostile Show Takeover: The Engineer, of all people
* Ghost does the same to Engineer.
* Humiliation Conga: Wait for the calls.
* Inflicted on Celticbrony by the Capitalist Army and the Ghetto Capitalist Army.
* Hypocritical Humor: Ghost rages at those who accuse Obama's critics of being racist, but he willingly accuse anyone who mocks or criticises Herman "Sugar" Cain of being racist.
* I Am the Trope: On the 12/06/11 show, Ghost said "I am Blog Talk Radio!"
* Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: After True Capitalist Radio stopped being just another show to troll and became basically an online sitcom with characters and an (unwilling) Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist, DarkRazorZ began naming the episodes when he uploaded them onto Youtube. They're usually named after the best troll of the day or a running gag throughout the episode ("12 Year Old Vs Ghost," "RIP Steve Jobs," "Spectator's Spectacular Testicles," etc.)
* I Knew It!: In-Universe. He guessed right that the Megaupload controversy was a trap.
* He knew the whole situation with Asho in November was all a setup.
* I Lied: Ghost claimed that his final show would be on March 9th. As it turned out, there was no show on that date, and it was merely an attempt to troll the trolls.
* Incoming Ham:
*
* "Ghost baby what's goin' on?!"
* "SUCK MAH DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK, SUCK MAH DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK-"
* I Need a Freaking Drink: "Cause drinking is what I like to do~!"
* Well, there's gotta be an explanation for all those cans! However, he considers himself to be a connoisseur and not an alcoholic. He has also often used the allure of cheap drinks on 6th Street as an excuse for potentially ending the show when he's angry.
* Internet Tough Guy: "YOU'RE LUCKY WE'RE NOT IN A GODDAMN BARROOM BECAUSE I'D BEAT THE LIVING BAJEZUS OUT'A YOU!"
* Insane Troll Logic: 9/27/11: A guy says an old Me Me. According to Ghost, it's why America is going down the toilet. No, it does not make sense in context.
* He makes fun of ethnic minorities like there is no tomorrow. He's not a racist, though!.
* Insult Backfire: Any insult Ghost tries to use on the trolls will either be ignored, accepted with glee, used against him, or turned into yet another remix.
* The crowning example: "Hambone", which he invented to subtly insult overweight people. The trolls turned it against him almost immediately.
* Intercontinuity Crossover: "I GOT MY LITTLE PONY CHARACTERS CALLING ME NOW"
* Interrupting Meme: "SUCK MAH DIIIIICK!" was used in such a manner on one occasion.
* I Read It for the Articles: Some people actually listen to Ghost for his political opinions.
* It's All About Me: "I'M THE TALENT! ME! NOT THE ENGINEER! ME!"
* Is This Thing On?: How Ghost began his big comeback on April 17th.
* I Take Offense to That Last One: When accused of being, for example, a "racist, shapeshifting Jew," his response is "I'm not a Jew!". Could be considered a running joke.
* A caller sings a parody of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" where he calls Ghost a racist, a fruitbowl, a hambone, and a reptile. But Ghost doesn't get offended until he says "Hannukah night".
* Jerkass: Ghost himself.
* He went off on a rant about members of Slipknot crying about their bassist's death thus:
* Kayfabe: No one knows how real some of the more... eccentric... figures on True Capitalist are, but few bother to try and find out, since it's a hell of a lot of fun anyway.
* Kick the Dog: A literal case: Ghost tells one his listeners that he'll respect him if he kicks his dog on 27th September 2011.
* Ghost also does this a few times every episode.
* Around Christmas, a legitimate fan bought about $50 in his merchandise and made a video to get a Twitter follow from Ghost and to be in the "True Capitalist Fan Ring of Honor." Instead, Ghost just insulted him and backed down on his word. This event caused many people, legitimate fans and trolls alike, to lose all sympathy for Ghost.
* On January 25th, he declared that all mental disorders from depression to PTSD to autism were entirely fake and basically said that kids suffering from them were "pussies." Whatever sympathy he gained from listeners after his most recent breakdown was entirely lost after that.
* This also showcased Ghost as a massive hypocrite as one of his catchphrases during his breakdowns is "I'm jaded man, I mean, I'M DEPRESSED!" So it's okay for him to be depressed?
* The May 4th broadcast featured Ghost being harsher and nastier than he had been in a long time; for the past few months, starting with the Ghostie Awards, he had steadily been evolving into something of a lovable old grouch, so it's somewhat jarring to listen to this broadcast and hear him say that he wants Tub Guy to drown in his bathtub.
* He also gives people's phone numbers away in the hope that their homes will be trolled, generally recognized more of a 4Chan fighting style than mere kick the doggery.
* On 5/9/12, he said that if Tupac Shakur is still alive, he should be killed by other gangsters.
* Kill the Poor: Ghost suggested that welfare food cards should be replaced with feeding the poor and unemployed with horse meat from put-down horses and wild boars, and he also suggests killing stray cats and dogs for blankets. However, actually killing the homeless to use their bodies to feed the poor, as one troll suggests, is crossing the line.
* Ghost also once called for replacing welfare with putting the unemployed in "labor camps" instead.
* Kissing in a Tree: "Ghost and Alex Jones/sitting in a tree/K-I-S-S-I-N-G/first comes fearmongering/then comes gay marriage/then comes my fruity-ass fruitbowl gay son-"
* Large Hambone: When he starts a rant on something, he can get very hammy.
* Knight of Cerebus: Senator Pooptickler, who is terrifyingly good at doxing people.
* Lighter and Softer: Ghost's new "Mr. Optimism" persona is this.
* Madness Mantra: The "Ban All Bronies" "Fuck Bronies" and "Castrate Bronies" spam callers.
* There was an instance where a caller callled in multiple times simply repeating "Penispenispenispenispenispenis..."
* The "Accident-Prone Kids for Ghost."
* Manipulative Editing: Its frighteningly easy to make him rage. Just take one of the following sentences (or for bonus points find something he said in the previous episode), and change x (or a key word in another sentence) to the word of your choice.
* "I happen to have a whole bunch of friends who x/who happen to be x"
* "Ghost, from True Capitalist Radio, is a x"
* "x sucks the chrome off of a '57 Chevy bumper!"
* "Hell, in my personal opinion, x is a good piece of ass.
* Find a sentence where he says "I'm not a goddamn x", and remove "not"
* Unfortunately, it really could be that easy. And, a lot of these have been overused so much, that Ghost can probably tell that its going to be an edit.
* Man of a Thousand Voices: Ghost has quite a talent with impressions. While most of them are of National Stereotypes, he does perform some of them very well, though they tend to slip whenever he yells.
* You could listen to his "Optimist voice" and never realize it was him.
* Mistaken for Gay: Since Ghost is a homophobe, trolls are very dedicated to making him sound as gay as possible in their splices.
* Mistaken for Racist: Subverted. Ghost insists that this is what's happened to him, but his usage of terms like "Alabama black snake," and firm belief in racial stereotypes reveals a very different story.
* Mistaken Identity: "Is this Nikolai?!"
* Thoroughly Mistaken Identity: Someone prank-called the FBI with splices of Ghost's voice, and as a result he sounds completely, hilariously insane:
* Mondegreen: In the November 1 Radio Graffiti segment, a caller, impersonating Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic says "suck my flank" to imitate the "Suck my dick" guy. Ghost mishears it and says "Are you kidding me?! Suck my BLANK?!"
* Ghost misheard Tri$ha saying "what do you have against the third gender" as "surf dinner", to which he replied "I like Surf 'n' Turf, what the hell you talking about?"
* Ghost has misinterpreted the word "Touhou" as "toe hoe" on several occasions, causing him to rant that the fandom is made up of "sick foot fetish freaks".
* Motor Mouth: Ghost.
* Some of the callers are this, because they have to fit whatever they're trying to enrage Ghost with into a few seconds so he doesn't hang up on him.
* National Stereotypes: In his "Guess the Minority" game, Ghost tries to identify the race of the caller by asking questions relating to these (i.e. "What is your favorite food?")
* No Ending: CelticBrony's Xanatos Gambit paid off and he 'beat' Ghost, but his victory meant pretty much nothing; Ghost is preparing to implement some new capitalistic ideas in Austin and is spending more time with his wife now, and with him out of the picture, the Ghetto Capitalist Revolution can continue unhindered.
* No Except Yes: It's not cans, it's "crap on his desk".
* "craponmydesk.wav"?
* No Indoor Voice: When he's angry, Ghost will raise his voice, a lot.
* Non Sequitur: Most "troll" calls end up being like this: Host brings up topic. Host asks for opinion on topic. Caller says something completely off-topic. Host makes fun of him and/or rages about off-topic call. That's the circle of life around here.
* Older Than They Think (In-Universe): Before it turned into Engineer's running gag, someone played the theme from that film during the June 17th, 2011 raid.
* Once an Episode: He always starts with the markets, then goes to political news, then Radio Graffiti, a call-in segment where callers get "three to four seconds to say whatever's on your mind"
* One-Hit Kill: Coodoo has made this into an art, often taking down Ghost with a single remix.
* One of Us: A truly bizarre example. Ghost, who is basically an old, angry redneck, seems to know just about everything about Nerd culture. This has been cited as evidence of him being a troll.
* In particular, he's surprising adept at recognizing My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic quotes and songs, and clearly knows things about the show such as how ponies get their cutie marks and the Derpy Hooves fiasco despite claiming that he didn't watch the show and that it's for eight-year-old girls.
* February 28th, 2012: (in response to a caller playing a remix of "Bloody Tears") "Get out of here with your dumbass Mexican music... no, wait a minute, that's Castlevania. Throw the Holy Water, I love that sound!" Ghost later went on to declare the second game in the series his favorite.
* He also likes Nirvana (specifically, the song "Rape Me") and is a big enough Marilyn Manson fan to know the b-side track "The Hands of Small Children" (and use it in his Woodchipper segment) and "We're From America."
* On 7/13/11, when asked what his favourite video game was, Ghost responded with "the first Metal Gear off of the original Nintendo". Also, on 10/19/11, he said Mario 1, 2, and 3 really kicked ass, but quit playing entirely when the Super Nintendo came out.
* Opening Narration: Near the top of the hour, but always to the effect of "This is the (Second/Third and Final) hour of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast, I am your host, the man they call Ghost."
* Overly Long Gag: On December 14th, when Engineer hijacked the show, Knee Slappington, aka the Austin Vibrator, called in with his usual "OOOOOOOOOOOOOO" sound effect. Rather than cutting him off, Engineer let it run for several minutes, even trying to sing along at points.
*
* This ended when Engineer broke down and cried.
* Overused Running Gag: Twitter users continuously made-up names referencing the Texas fire, India and Turkey quakes, and Steve Jobs' death for a time.
* Papa Wolf: Don't insult his family, especially his grandmother.
*
* Or KaraszKun.
* Pet the Dog: On January 6th, 2012, Ghost defends Equestrian Citizen from racial slurs.
* Despite his conflicting feelings toward the Engineer and his antics, Ghost has defended him when callers accused him of being 'retarded' or 'incompetent'.
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* At times, he even does shoutouts for those who retweet his show posts on Twitter. However, given this show's reputation, if your screen name references one of the things he hates...
* Poe's Law: Is he a true capitalist, or a talented voice actor and the world's greatest professional troll? If he's real, then the Magic of his Melting Pot of Friendship must keep his infinite supply of beer cans on his table, as well as allowing him to understand his engineer.
* He demonstrates his voice acting talents on many occasions, doesn't sound that Texan and is just too perfect trolling material. You'd think he'd learned by now not to answer calls from Dr. Pooptickler.
* On the other hand, if he is a troll, he's spent four years and anywhere from $1596 to $11,952 just to piss people off.
* Pound of Flesh Twist: Sure, Celtic's gambit might have worked, but Ghost's retirement made the whole thing moot.
* Precision F-Strike: When Ghost is really, really, angry, he will fire one off. The Engineer has been heard to drop them on occasion.
* Put on a Bus: Asho has been sent off to rehab.
* Rage Quit: Ghost seems to be the master at faking going off the air, since usually something will end up happening which turns it into more of an intermission.
* However, on at least eleven separate occasions, he has truly ended the show. The first known rage was on August 1, 2011, when people were greatly annoying him on his first day back from a hiatus; the second on August 29, 2011 after an audio splice about him being the king of 10-year olds; the third was two days later on August 31, 2011 (after the "Money, Success, Fame, Bronies" caller); the fourth on September 9, 2011, after massive trolling from Texas wildfires to a Radio Graffiti segment with back-to-back remixes of Tetris Theme A; the fifth on December 7, 2011 (after he considered the fruitiness level to be way outside his comfort zone); the sixth on January 4th, 2012, after a caller called in and asked Ghost "Who choked harder, the Cowboys or your grandma in the back of a Denny's restaurant?"; the seventh on January 6th, after reading two insults to his grandmother in quick succession in the chatroom shoutouts segment; the eighth on January 25th (after the "Alex Jones as Ghost" graffiti caller), the ninth on February 9th (after the "Tubguy World War 3" graffiti caller); the tenth on February 16th (after two "trans-testicles" "fought" over him); and the eleventh on April 30th (after TexasStroll playing a remix of Ghost singing Stevie B's "Spring Love")
* Subverted on January 27th's Radio Graffiti segment; someone played a clip of himself allegedly playing a Ghost clip at Howard Stern, right at the end of the show. While in reality, he got cut off by BlogTalkRadio suddenly removing the functionality that let his show overrun, the amount of reaction you heard from him before he got cut off was probably enough to leave you believing that he was having a mega-rage and just decided to cut himself off because he didn't want to go on after that. It was subverted again on April 17th, during Radio Graffiti when the microphone died twice during the segment. The first time it was after the sixth caller, then it died again for the rest of the show fifteen minutes after Radio Graffiti started.
* He also faked it twice in December only for the Engineer to hijack the show until his return.
* It's arguable that it happened on February 20th, although before it cut off, he had mentioned the show was already shot and he was just letting random people call in. (He'd been having microphone problems pretty much the entire second half of the show)
* Rated "M" for Manly: Ghost certainly thinks he's this, making empty threats to the trolls and how he's a big badass. He also screams for fruitbowls and bronies to have 'testosterone shot up their ass'.
* He also expects his callers to sound manly.
* Recurring Riff: Well you know what this country is turning into? Junkyard America!
* Sometimes after calls that really grind his gears, he'll do a musical intermission while he cools off. Sometimes he does an intermission in such a way that will force the trolls to turn him off by boring them to death, because they apparently love "lulz" and "fruitbowl music"
* MONEY, SUCCESS, FAME, GLAMOUR.
* MONEY, SUCCESS, FAME, BRONIES. (YOU MADE A SONG OF THAT?!?!?!)
* "Fuck You Texas" used to be common prank call material, but even Ghost thinks it's gotten old already. The same may also go for the thousands of callers who still blast "Melting Pot of Alcohol" at him. Something the people who keep overusing the "Hambone" meme need to learn already.
* Refrain From Assuming: Ghost often gets song titles or genres wrong after hearing remixes. He's referred to Brodyquest as both "Axel F" and the theme to Footloose, the Dr. Mario theme as "circus music", "Entrance of the Gladiators" (a song which is often circus music) as "hoedown music", both the Driftveil City theme and "She Blinded Me With Science" as "that weird science song", a remix of Spark Man's theme as Contra, The Game Cube boot remix as Wanna Be Startin' Somethin', "The Gonk" as "music from The Roaring Twenties", and "Be Our Guest" as poetry.
* A frequent Skype caller with the username "Tara Strong" often plays spliced quotes from everypony's favorite show, but has also played Princess Clara lines, taking advantage of the fact that she shares the same voice actor as Twilight Sparkle. Ghost caught on to the part that mattered, and immediately dismissed them as being Pony-related.
* Averted when someone was playing Bloody Tears and Ghost thought it was Mexican music, until he heard a little more and realized it was from Castlevania.
* Refuge in Audacity: The entire show comes off as this. This is the audio adventures of a really loud Texan and his loyal engineer, and said Texan flips out over prank calls made by the likes of trolls playing splices, bronies, a suburban welfare receiver, a fabulous man in his tub, an 8 year old Mexican kid, a 'trans-testicle' and other bizarre characters.
* The twitter shoutouts even more so:
* Repurposed Pop Song: The Sanford and Son theme for the Junkyard America song, and the theme from The Price Is Right for Guess the Minority.
* Ruined FOREVER: Ghost himself invokes this on December 7th after people continued requesting the Engineer to host again.
* Running Gag: Many:
* "Guess the Minority", a segment where Ghost tries to guess the ethnicity of a caller by asking them questions related to stereotypes, or guessing based off their voice alone. He freakin' loves this game, man!
* Spontaneously breaking into song (Junkyard America!)
* Twitter filled with usernames intended to make him rage ("PoopTickler?! What kind of a name is PoopTickler?!").
* Twitter names taking the form of "_______ for ______" (i.e. Spongies for Ghost, Bronies for Ghost, Radiation for Japan, etc.)
* Twitter names combining Ghost's name with that of communist or fascist dictators (i.e. Ghostler, Benito Ghostini, Ghostef Stalin, Fidel Ghostro, etc.)
* Ghost playing clips from "representatives" from various foreign locales (including "Mr. Fortune Cookie" from Communist China, Machmud, a "representative of the Libyan rebel faction", and "The Guru", a stereotypical Indian)
* NIKOLAI 2012
* Ghost's disdain for the Occupy Wall Street movement has led to a series of trolls and twitter names mocking him for it. Among them are OccupyCanadia, OccupyManehattan, OccupyCanterlot, OccupyPonyville, OccupySixthStreet, and OccupyGhost'sAss.
* There was a recurring joke throughout the January 20th show that Ghost was every member of the Today Show.
* Satan Is Good:
* Say My Name: "DAMN YOU NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVYYYYYY HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE...!"
* Schedule Slip: Often after an episode with a major trolling, it'll just go off the air for a period (as little as a day, or as much as a week) and then come back. Although sometimes the show does sometimes doesn't occur for other reasons.
* Screwed by the Network: Arguably, in Ghost's opinion, BlogTalkRadio screwed over his show twice without telling him. On January 27th's episode, they randomly took away his after-show privileges, causing an odd end to the show. On April 17th's episode, he couldn't start the show until fifteen minutes after the show was originally supposed to start. Ghost didn't take that very kindly.
* Sdrawkcab Name: One caller claimed to be Ohsa, the backwards Asho.
* Sensory Abuse: Some trolls like to ear-rape Ghost (and the audience) by playing very loud buzzers or yelling at the mic. They tend to be cluster calls, too.
* Serious Business: Ghost thinks his show is this. Most of his audience seems to think otherwise.
* To be honest however, when he's not taking calls, he is somewhat serious. On average, the first half of the show will usually be somewhat serious, and things often start going downhill once he starts taking calls.
* Even worse, he had introduced Radio Graffiti under the guise of a "game" and did not officially care about what people called in with. Something in between must have gotten to him.
* It's also supposed to be three to four seconds per call. Most troll calls end up lasting a lot longer.
* Shout-Out: A lot, mostly by the trolls.
* Mmmmmmmagnets, how do they work, magnets, magnets, BAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH BAAAHHHH
* Show Within a Show: True Optimist Radio, created in response to a caller that Ghost declared wanted everything sugar-coded with optimism, turning one of his mocking voices into a new persona, Mr. Optimism, who tries to conduct the show in a Lighter and Softer manner.
* Ghost being Ghost, this was more of a Bitch in Sheep's Clothing
* Shut Up, Kirk: When someone infuriates him in a call, he will tell them to shut up and call them out. One example was on February 3rd's Radio Graffiti segment, where a caller just tells him how to run his show. Ghost did not take it well and called him out for being "a Roman Polanski paedophile."
* Sitcom Arch Nemesis: Tzeki, Alex Jones, Howard Stern, Asho, the Capitalist Queer, the Ghetto Capitalist, DarkRazorZ, Equestrian Citizen, Tri$ha, NavyHusky, The Internet Buttstalker, and many more.
* Slash Fic: This.
* Small Name, Big Ego: Ghost has been this for a while, but it shows the most on the episode on 8/29/11. He actually believes that he is more significant to pop culture than 4chan, and says that he's making a mask for Ghost, and actually thinks it's going to overshadow the Guy Fawkes mask.
* He repeatedly claims that he is "listened to by tens of thousands of capitalists THROUGHOUT THE WORLD!!"
* On 12/12/11, he actually states the possibility of a Ghostcon and said he had a band who "will be at the Grammies."
* In response to people requesting the engineer to host again: "I'm the talent!"
* Some of My Best Friends Are X: "I happen to have a whole bunch of friends who happen to be black"
* Some of his best friends are Wops and Camel Jockeys.
* Spin-Off: In a way; both Goofy_Bone (most infamously), and most recently, Asho, also have their own shows on BlogTalkRadio.
* In September 2011, the usual trolls started targeting Goofy_Bone's show too. Despite trying to defend himself, he ended up caving in and doing his own version of Radio Graffiti. This continued over a slight hiatus Ghost had, but when he was alerted to this, he, predictably, called Goofy out and went off about it, as usual. He dubbed it a "poor man's Mexican version" and a "bean and cheese" version of his own show.
* Then in response, Goofy re-named it Bean and Cheese Graffiti
* Springtime for Hitler: Following another fake Rage Quit, the Engineer takes over the show, playing songs disliked by Ghost and answering calls in his unintelligible gibberish. Ghost eventually 'returns' and proceeds to scold the Engineer. It seems like he did this in an attempt to either chastise the listeners or convince the trolls that the show had effectively ended, but when he got back and started taking calls, people were demanding that the Engineer host the show again. This has turned into a surprisingly effective trolling tactic, causing Ghost to enter fits of envious rage over his own character.
* Stay in the Kitchen: Whenever a woman comes on who calls him out on his downfalls or trolls him, expect this to be his response.
* Stealth Pun: Whenever Ghost is giving shout outs to people in the chatroom, some would attempt to make Ghost say names such as "AlphaKennyOne" or "IsleOfRussia". Most of the time however, he catches on the wordplay.
* Stock Sound Effect: A rare live example; whenever Ghost gets especially upset, expect to hear cans being shoved off a table.
* In discussions of the show, it's often referred to as "cans.wav".
* Stupid Statement Dance Mix: Unfortunately (well, to him), a lot of the one-liners he's said (like "melting pot of friendship", "HAMBOOOOONE", etc.) end up being perfect material for these. When people got the bright idea to start playing them right at him during calls, Ghost reacted accordingly. That is, he hates them to no end.
* Four words, "Melting Pot of Alcohol"
* There are, as of now, quite a few remixes of that remix, among them one that samples "Giggle at the Ghostie," an 8-bit remix, a mashup with "Party Rock Anthem," and a stoner remix.
* Surrounded By Fruitbowls: Ghost.
* Tantrum Throwing: The cans.
* Tempting Fate: What do we begin with?
* The prime example would be whenever he specifically asks the listeners NOT to remix him with something.
* That Came Out Wrong: "If anyone came at me trying to be busy badass, you know I always walk around out here in Texas ... with my strap on"
* The Grinch: Ghost did state that he hated Christmas, but he also hated being compared to the Trope Namer.
* Three Chords and the Truth: Brought up in response to a troll who played the "Kill Your Famiily" soundbite, who he then mistook for a satanic rock band trying to advertise their album with subliminal messages, which then turned into a rant about modern rock music being "three or four-chord crap"
* Trolls: They come. They try to make him look like a fool. He fires back by claiming they're wholly responsible for America's bad economy.
* There are also those who believe Ghost himself is a troll masquerading as a radio host.
* "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Ghost loves delivering one to any caller he doesn't like that he feels he can make a broad, sweeping generalization about based on their voice, namely anyone he thinks sounds even a hair less masculine than he is (which he'll then assume is a fat Basement Dweller who wastes their time watching My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic and/or effeminate male with bad parents.)
* Ghost gets his fair share of these too, though they're usually in song form. This one is probably one of the greatest ones.
* Goofy Bone also received a well deserved one at the hands of Ghetto Capitalist.
* Threat Backfire: Someone has probably kept a good count of how many times he has threatened while upset to not come on the next day, or otherwise permanently end the show for good.
* There's also all the times he's threatened punitive damages, but so far this hasn't happened.
* His shows are now pretty sparse, especially after days he gets particularly angry.
* The Social Darwinist: Ghost believes that human progress would be brought about by the elimination of individuals who cannot sustain themselves. He believes that humans should be applied to natural selection so that only the working class, A.K.A., the ones who can sustain themselves, should be the only ones to live.
* Ghost has also stated that he is "pro-death" in general, approves of Rick Perry's record number of executions and approves of people ignoring safety laws simply because it would be more likely for them to get killed in an accident.
* Toilet Humor: What kind of a name is PoopTickler?!
* "I happen to have a whole bunch of friends who group poop."
* On Oct 3, 2011, a user named Ray Twilight recorded a sound of what appears to be someone with bad diarrhea, grossing Ghost out. On January 18th, 2012, another user from area code 512 did a splice using that same sound effect making it sound like Ghost had bad diarrhea, causing Ghost to rage.
* And then there was a single call consisted only of the sound of someone peeing into a toilet.
* And then another with the same sound of peeing, but with a Ghost laugh added into it.
* And yet another one with Ghost saying "Why don't you take a whiff of this... UH-OH! POO-POO!" followed by the diarrhea noise.
* Too Soon: Invoked often, he'll freak out if anyone tries to make humor around an event, especially if it involves the death of a major figure, or it happened in Texas (i.e. the constant Texas Fire jokes)
* On the day of the SOPA/PIPA protest, one caller made a splice to make it sound like Ghosts supports it (even though he's been vocally anti-SOPA). Even the people in the chatroom called it too soon.
* He even reacted like this to a username that made fun of the Titanic. Yes, the same Titanic the sunk in 1912.
* Trademark Favorite Food: "Johnnie Walkerrrrr, Blue Labeeeeeel!"
* Shrimp, too, judging by his reaction whenever someone brings the "cannibal shrimp" up.
* Troperiffic
* Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Regular caller Asho smoked weed and looks at pornography, knowing that his mom is elsewhere hitting on strangers.
* The Unintelligible: Engineer and the Guru.
* "The Villain Sucks" Song: "Well FUCK you Texas, and FUCK your Lone Star Beer..." COULD YOU SHOVE THAT SONG UP YOUR ASS?!
* In a way, Melting Pot of Alcohol is one.
* Angry Racist Jewish Hambone. Just listen to the lyrics!
*
* National Socialist Hambone Racist
* Unexplained Recovery: Senator Pooptickler.
* Unknown Rival: ALEX JONES IS RUINING AMERICA *cans.wav*
* Unstoppable Rage: Especially prevalent when his show was called True Conservative Radio. He'd start yelling for about a few minutes over anything. Whether it was bad parents, a Troll or over anything, he'd start yelling at the slightest twitch.
* Villainous Breakdown: Tons of 'em.
* This might be his biggest one
* December 2011 saw an increase in breakdowns. At one point he was crying (he denies it of course).
* Verbal Tic / You Keep Using That Word: "Trans-testicle" instead of transsexual, "Canadia" (pronounced like "Canadian") instead of Canada, etc.
* Ghost also throws around variants of "fruit" as an adjective, noun, and verb for something that is, or is becoming overly flamboyant or gay. Thus, the term "fruitbowl" is used as a describer for things that meet this criteria.
* Whenever talking to, or about Latinos (such as Goofy_Bone and Asho), Ghost will invariably mention "bean and cheese". He also claims that bean and cheese is extremely cheap to get in Texas.
* He's also recently advocated the use of the term "hambone" to refer to and subtly mock people who he views as "fat jelly-asses" who live off welfare and otherwise contribute nothing to society. However, it'd help if all the prank callers didn't go around calling him one.
* The various trolls have their own verbal tics. Ghetto Capitalist has "baby", Tub Guy has "Oh my!" and Equestrian Citizen has the n-word.
* And he calls xarahox a "penist"
* Very Special Episode: March 27th, 2012, in which he devoted the entire show to the Trayvon Martin case. This lead to more serious callers than usual, some agreeing with him and some debating him. Everybody else played splices of him urinating on his family.
* Volleying Insults: Tzeki and Goofy Bone once used Radio Graffiti to verbally abuse each other.
* Wham! Episode: January 30th and 31st, 2012.
* Cerebus Syndrome: Things got serious for a show revolving around some gleeful trolls and an over-the-top Texan.
* Enemy Mine: Ghost's Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner to Celticbrony was "This is for the bronies you betrayed!"
* Reset Button: Pressed with much delight by the fandom toward the end of the day; Ghost ended up not quitting after all.
* The Reveal: Celticbrony as The Chessmaster (maybe)
* The Gloves Come Off
* Wham! Line: "The end is near. February will be my last month."
* You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Many of the major trolls were doxed or otherwise put out of commission by Ghost and Celticbrony.
* What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?: "I'm implementing CHATROOM MARTIAL LAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! YEAH HA HAAAAAAA~"
* Why We're Bummed Capitalism Fell: For a community who spent a year deliberately driving him insane, people were pretty upset when Ghost announced he was quitting the show, and rejoiced upon his return.
* The Wiki Rule: True Capitalist Wiki on Wikia.
* Worthy Opponent: Tzeki.
*
* Ghost's speech while giving Ghetto Capitalist the Troll of the Year Award had hints of this.
* You Do NOT Want to Know: Gasgara's relationship with Suspicious Tumbleweed. As the True Capitalist Radio Wiki put it:
* Your Approval Fills Me with Shame: Trisha, Tub Guy, and Ghetto Capitalist (natch) all approve strongly of Ghost's capitalistic views... but since they're (respectively) a transgender woman, a flamboyant omnisexual, and a welfare abuser, Ghost is absolutely enraged at this hijacking of his philosophy.
* Your Mom: Sometimes used as a retort.
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