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| - Dib: ...But nobody believed Galileo! They even put him in jail! Now if all these people who just called him crazy were brought back and shown just how wrong they really were, they'd be sorry! Oh, they'd be sor- Ms. Bitters: Time's up, Dib. Any questions? Ms. Bitters: Yes, Zita? Zita (Referring to Dib): You're crazy! Ms. Bitters: Excellent, Zita! You get an A! Zita: Nyah! Dib: But that wasn't a question. Melvin: Sorry I'm late! My head's itchy! Ms. Bitters: LLIIICE! Biscuity Goodness: Itching! In my braaain! Gaz: Pshhh, whiner! Assistant: Level 1 infestation, ma'am. Ms. Bitters: What a nice lady.
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| abstract
| - Dib: ...But nobody believed Galileo! They even put him in jail! Now if all these people who just called him crazy were brought back and shown just how wrong they really were, they'd be sorry! Oh, they'd be sor- Ms. Bitters: Time's up, Dib. Any questions? Ms. Bitters: Yes, Zita? Zita (Referring to Dib): You're crazy! Ms. Bitters: Excellent, Zita! You get an A! Zita: Nyah! Dib: But that wasn't a question. Melvin: Sorry I'm late! My head's itchy! Ms. Bitters: LLIIICE! Biscuity Goodness: Itching! In my braaain! Gaz: Pshhh, whiner! Assistant: Level 1 infestation, ma'am. Countess: A level 1. I am Countess Von Verminstrasser, the delouser! For your own good, you will cooperate! You have lice, and until your condition changes, you will all be detained here indefinitely! Dib: You can't really make us stay here. Countess: You dare question me? Question my methods? You, who stands to benefit the most from my work? You disgust me! Ms. Bitters: What a nice lady. Dib: All I said was- Countess: Silence! Let the delousing begin! Countess (voice only): Any attempts to escape will be severely frowned upon, so don't try! Countess: You have been separated according to the severity of your cases. The worst over here! Countess: These two have no lice on them at all! Zim: I'd just like to say that if I were a member of an alien race- Which I'm not! Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh! I'd have to take this opportunity to say- Zim: Filthy Earth creatures! It is clear who the superior species is! Isn't it!?! Isn't it!?! You stink! Countess: The two CLEAN ones will be taken to a special area for immunity research. Dib: This is insane! Isn't this a bit much for just an outbreak of lice? Melvin: Eh. Countess: The rest of you will see my assistants for your assignments. Dib: We've gotta get out of here! Countess: Take your seats, licey children! Dib: You won't get away with this! Countess: Get away with it? When I'm finished here I'll be looked upon as a hero! Countess: You simply do not comprehend my work here, boy, and I do not have time to explain! Take your seats now! Countess (to Dib): Your turn! Assistant: Countess, you are required in B-Wing. Countess: So much to do! I'll be back! Dib: Melvin! It's obvious this 'delouser' has become mad with power! Melvin: You mean... Melvin: ....She craaaaazy!?! Dib: Yeah... We've gotta tell the world what's happening! The skool, no, the world depends on us! Dib: Immunity research? Zim! Assistant: We'll need skin samples to find out what makes you immune to the infestation. Zim: I'm no different from the other humans! I'm loaded with lice! They're simply... heh... in my belly! Zim: Maybe you should just put me in with the normal filthy Earth child group! The assistant approaches Ms. Bitters with the device. Ms. Bitters stands up and growls. Ms. Bitters: Take it from the child! Zim: My skin! My superior skin! Gaz: Pfff.. Whiner. Dib: Uh, that was kinda neat, but- Countess (voice only): What is it!?! Make it quick! Assistant: Forgive me Countess, but 15 of the test subjects have... disappeared. Gretchen: Um... Heeey! Countess: Escaped? Assistant: Uh, no, they never would've made it past the mine field. They're, they're just gone! Gretchen: Heeey! Excuse me! Countess: Leave us! Up the security! The final battle is upon us! Gretchen: What are you talking about? Countess: An infestation of this size provides me with research opportunities I could only dream of before! Some will suffer, yes... Countess: ...But for the greater good! Gretchen: Why am I here? Countess: But these disappearances... This is something more! Perhaps the proof I've been searching for! Gretchen: Why are you telling me this? Countess: Proof of a mastermind Queen Louse, the source of all lice! And I will stop it! Gretchen: Can I go now? Dib: A lice queen? She's crazier than I thought! We have to stop her! Keep quiet Melvin and we'll- Melvin: Nooo! Noo!!!! Lice Queen!!! Dib: That was not quiet. Assistant: What are you doing out here!?! Dib: What... are you doing out here!?! Assistant: Using... mind tricks... Dib: Come on, while he's distracted! Assistant: Huh? Countess: Continue your studies! We'll handle this! Dib: We lost her! Countess: I knew you'd be trouble! Gretchen: I really don't wanna be here! Dib: This has to stop! Countess: You don't get it, child! No one gets it! But I will show you! All of you! Dib: Don't get it? They're just lice! Look, they don't hurt anybody! Countess: You can't see the full extent of the problem! It's much bigger than you know! Dib: Oh, not the lice queen thing! Gretchen: This place smells. Can I have a soda? Countess: You just need to open your mind! Dib: You're insane! Dib: There is no lice quee- Dib: What!?! What is this!?! What's going on!?! Countess: The Queen! We found the nest! I knew it! I was right! Dib: She was right. Countess: Look, it's filling these kid's heads with lice, just like Melvin, so they could spread them to the outside world! Countess: All those years, searching, waiting! They laughed at me, told me I was loosing my grip on reality! But there it is, proof of everything I've known to be true! Gretchen: She does this, she just keeps talking! Dib: Hey, that thing you were right about... It's about to eat us! Assistant: Boss! Assistant: This green child, he is the answer! His skin! His skin destroys the lice! Here! Assistant: Use this against them! Countess: Close your eyes, baby! Dib: You were right all along! I was wrong about you! Sorry, I guess... Countess: You should be. Countess: Thanks to the bravery of this child... Countess: ...the world will never have to deal with the threat of lice ever again! Zim: The pain! Gaz (voice echoing from above): Whiner!!! Countess: Future generations will sing songs about him, and his brave sacrifice for the fight against head lice! Good work, child! Dib: He's an alien you know... Countess: My work here is done!
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