House Elves (Rowlingus Imaginarius) are short, grubby, disgusting little creatures with the likability factor of a Republican Vice-President. In the English class system they sit just below Gypsy Dogs and just above Chelsea Football Club. Due to a brain that is about as well crafted as one of those cheap Chinese water pistols you buy on market stalls, they speak very poor English (roughly as much the common household baguette) and can only just about perform simple tasks like cooking, cleaning and texting.
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