About: Crash test dummy   Sponge Permalink

An Entity of Type : owl:Thing, within Data Space : 134.155.108.49:8890 associated with source dataset(s)

Automobiles have been the bane of humanity ever since their unfortunate invention by this guy. Henry Ford attempted to make these vehicles safer by trying to make the backseat of cars too small to make love on and protect the upholstery of the car from being impregnated by a lecherous man; however, there is nothing to protect the driver of the vehicle who were prone to collide with other vehicles whose drivers who happened to be distracted by performing cunnilingus while simultaneously trying to send a text message to their stock broker to sell all their shares of Enron before Andersen's auditing discrepancies were published.

AttributesValues
rdfs:label
  • Crash test dummy
rdfs:comment
  • Automobiles have been the bane of humanity ever since their unfortunate invention by this guy. Henry Ford attempted to make these vehicles safer by trying to make the backseat of cars too small to make love on and protect the upholstery of the car from being impregnated by a lecherous man; however, there is nothing to protect the driver of the vehicle who were prone to collide with other vehicles whose drivers who happened to be distracted by performing cunnilingus while simultaneously trying to send a text message to their stock broker to sell all their shares of Enron before Andersen's auditing discrepancies were published.
sameAs
dcterms:subject
abstract
  • Automobiles have been the bane of humanity ever since their unfortunate invention by this guy. Henry Ford attempted to make these vehicles safer by trying to make the backseat of cars too small to make love on and protect the upholstery of the car from being impregnated by a lecherous man; however, there is nothing to protect the driver of the vehicle who were prone to collide with other vehicles whose drivers who happened to be distracted by performing cunnilingus while simultaneously trying to send a text message to their stock broker to sell all their shares of Enron before Andersen's auditing discrepancies were published. To this end human beings were employed to test the limits of human biophysics and what the body could withstand during a crash in order to design cars that are slightly safer death traps. Dr. Ongwe Mobotowulu was the leader in such testing, representing the height of Education, one example was that he leaped off of tall buildings to discover how much force it takes to crack open his skull, and tied his hands to a cam shaft to see how much force it takes to rip his arms out of its socket. After performing these experiments he was reported to have said that he "was a little sore," when he suddenly came to the realization that it would be more efficient and less painful to use mentally incompetent people for his experiments. Since it is well-known that retards do not feel pain, this circumvents the ethical concern for using human beings as test subjects of car crashes, and nobody cares when mentally retarded people die anyway.
Alternative Linked Data Views: ODE     Raw Data in: CXML | CSV | RDF ( N-Triples N3/Turtle JSON XML ) | OData ( Atom JSON ) | Microdata ( JSON HTML) | JSON-LD    About   
This material is Open Knowledge   W3C Semantic Web Technology [RDF Data] Valid XHTML + RDFa
OpenLink Virtuoso version 07.20.3217, on Linux (x86_64-pc-linux-gnu), Standard Edition
Data on this page belongs to its respective rights holders.
Virtuoso Faceted Browser Copyright © 2009-2012 OpenLink Software