Hagbard Celine is a Viking known for piloting his ships through the fnords and invading bags of Doritos. He is a work of fiction, unlike Stephen, who is real. Hagbard was a drug-running piece of SCUM who stole a US Government Submarine, and used it to run missions for his Mafia allies. In recent years impersonators of this dire menace have arisen, including a computer hacker and a senile clown who currently harasses Stephen every chance he gets.
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