Contents
| - :Stan: Ladies and gentlemen, the United States may be the greatest nation in the world, but do you know what the second greatest nation is?
:Man in Crowd: El Salvador!
:Stan: No, not Mexico.
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:Stan: Well, that's our show, folks. If you're interested in learning more about torture, follow an immigrant into your police station.
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:Roger: Stan, tell them the truth or they're gonna think I'm a liar.
:Steve: That spaceship sailed a long time ago.
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:Stan: So, a lot of people think that C.I.A. stands for "Central Intelligence Agency". Not true, folks. Fact is, C.I.A. actually stands for "Stan Smith was born with both male and female genetalia".
:Steve: That's not what we wrote! We don't go blue. That's the lazy man's comedy.
:Snot: Balls!
:Steve: [chuckles] Maybe we're working too hard.
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:Roger: You know what show I tried to save? The Ghost Whisperer.
:Francine: It's still on.
:Roger: Really?
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:Hayley: [after seeing footage of a porno film mixed into the CIA blooper reel] What the hell was that?
:Francine: Honey, that's what you have to do after a man takes you to a fancy dinner.
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:Bullock: The Democrats have completely cut our torture budget. They're using the money to teach inner city kids...to read.
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:Stan: Lying is wrong! I'd know that if only I'd paid attention to anything that's ever happened to me before.
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:Stan: We need the money to fund official unofficial CIA torture.
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:Roger: "The bomb is disarmed!" [Crowd cheers] That's what I'm gonna say when I disarm the bomb!
:Stan: Roger!
:Roger: [Disarms bomb] The arm is disbombed! Damn it.
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