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- Oleg: I want you to come clean.
Sophie: Oh, you cannot get me to come.
Oleg: Oh, I can get you to come.
Sophie: No, I can no longer come anymore.
Oleg: So, No one can get you to come?
Sophie: Well, some people can get me to come….. Just not you
Oleg: Hard to get, I like it.
- Sophie: Oleg cheated on me and I'm so maaaaaaaaaaad! Oh I have to break things! But everything upstairs in my apartment is too nice! So Run a tab girls! Oh I gotta break more!
I feel better.
- Sophie: Caroline please, I can't hear Han talking about Max okay?
- Caroline: Well here we are!
Sophie: Why is this big news?
- Sophie: Hi, girls. Are you having a beauty contest and didn't invite me to give the other girls a chance?
- Sophie: Remember when Madonna was alive? Those were the good old days.
- Sophie: "Hey Max! Chilly Outside, Nipples everywhere"
- Sophie: I smoked for seven years and then quit when I was 12. I didn't want to die of lung cancer before I was a teenager.
- Max: Oh,Hey Sophie.
Sophie: Hey, Max. Oh, spring is in the air. This is the time of year in Poland when the snow would melt, and all our dead relatives would float back to us.
Max: I've never been to Europe, but it sounds beautiful.
- Sophie: Really, cause you kinda bully us all into it.
- Sophie: Hi, everybody. Sophie's here! And look at my new coat. It's double-breasted.
Oleg: Pretty nice,huh? It was a gift from me.
Sophie: It's the only thing he ever gave me that didn't threaten my reproductive health.
- Caroline: Max, this is a quiet room. We have to be quiet.
Sophie: Hey Girls! Oh. I'm getting myself some fancy water. Look they got lemon, orange, and cucumber. Ha! It's like a slot machine over here.
Random woman: Shh!
Sophie:
- Caroline: Sophie you rent a town car?
Sophie: Yes. But only when it’s raining because you know, I got hair extensions & nail extensions, and you know I... I’m too extended to walk.
- Sophie: Oh unlimited rides, is that what your tramp stamp say?
- Sophie: Hi, girls. I got my period. Yeah, I got killer cramp. It's like I got a tractor in my uterus.
Caroline: Sophie, we are sorry you are not feeling well.
Sophie: Yeah. you know. it's time like this, I think God a b****.
- Sophie: Yeah, and I get you a big grab bag of condoms. Yup, I got all sizes. I got magnum, I got super magnum, I got regular and, 'He's got a great personality.'
Max: Usually the I have great personality is the only birth control I need.
Caroline: Thank you but I am a lady and I won't be using these until our third date.
Sophie: Well, you better hurry up and get dressed!
Caroline: Sophie, I'm already dressed!
Sophie: You are?!
Caroline: And I like what I am wearing.
Sophie: You do?! Well, just put on a little make up.
Caroline: I'm fully made up.
Sophie: You are?! Well, you know, maybe when you do your hair?
Caroline: Okay, I'm a little behind on my hair, my boobs are a bigger project than I thought..
- Sophie: You're gonna act like a dog I'll treat you like a dog.
- Earl: Well, hello there!
Sophie: Such a gentleman and what a well behaved boy!
- Sophie: You know what? I know he’s still alive because his manhood is knocking on my lady door.
- Sophie: Oh Earl you make me smile. I wish we had black people in Poland when I was growing up.
- Caroline: Oh, it was just Sophie.
Sophie: Just Sophie? That was the name of my talk show in Poland.
Max: Oh.. How I wish I could be a guest on that show.
Sophie: No, they were no guests, it was just Sophie!
- Sophie: Hey girls. What's shaking? Not meat, 'cause I am all held in.
Caroline: Sorry Sophie, the cupcake window isn't open during the day.
Sophie: I don't need your life story. I just need a damn cupcake.
Max: Sophie, do you remember the cat that was crying outside out building?
Sophie: Yeah, you put it down?
Caroline: We thought it was a stray, so we tried to find a home for it, but we couldn't.
Sophie: So you put it down?
Max: No! We left it in a really nice neighborhood.
Sophie: Oh, so a rich person put it down?
Caroline: It turns out it wasn't a stray at all. We just met its owner. This is the cat, Sophie. Her name is Jinxy.
Sophie: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute! You remember how I told you, that if you die outside in Poland, you come back as a cat?
Caroline: Yeah, that's kind of hard to forget.
Sophie: Wait, that's not Jinxy.That's my friend Nancy! Look at her! Same green eyes, same notch in the eat, same whiskers.
Caroline: Sophie, I don't think that this is Nancy.
Sophie: Oh, yeah. She and I got into a big fight, and now she's come back to haunt me. She died waiting an apology from me, and now she's back. Guess what, she's not gonna get it!
- Sophie: I just stopped by to get a cupcake to eat on the way to the gym.
- Oleg: I have a valentine gift I want to give to you
Sophie: Oh Hepatitis C?
- Caroline: Sophie, I’m so sorry that’s awful, Well that must have been hard I admire your courage.
Sophie: What are you, a counselor from UNICEF?
- Sophie: Uh oh, I think it's getting too real in here for me. I'm gonna go push up my boobs and glue my tooth back on!
- Caroline: You think I’m holding Max back?
Sophie: What kind of question is this? Yes.
- Sophie: In Poland, I had this little thing that i would like to tickle before I went to sleep, but my aunt threw it away.
Caroline: What was it?
Sophie: My cousin, Nora.
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