abstract
| - All You Need to Know is a segment of easily understood summaries of important events felt to the audience by Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report. They are often misreported by the liberal media using facts.
* Illegal Immigration: The grass seed goes down in the spring, the weed killer in the fall.
* Nintendo/McDonald's partnership: You'll need some bigger pants.
* Lottery: 5, 87, 33, 6, 21 & ? - that's your job.
* Dick Cheney's notes on Joseph Wilson's article What I Didn't Find in Africa: Cheney dots all his 'i's with hearts.
* CIA confirmation hearings of General Michael Hayden: Senators, just speak into your bedside lamp.
* Hurricanes: the breast stroke
* Medicare Part D plans: pick one at random, wash your hands a lot
* MTV's URGE: 1/2 hour of music sales per day, the rest is crap programmed for slow teens
* Rolling Stone's 1000th issue: Elvis, Dylan, Lennon, Jagger, Springsteen, Bono, Madonna, Coldplay (repeat 1000 times)
* John Gibson's statement that America needs more white babies: John Gibson is ready and willing.
* George W. Bush is the president of Mexico too.
* Americans have the biggest balls in the world.
* Women have an insatiable sexual appetite for men in striped shirts.
* Samuel Alito appointed to the Supreme Court: Stock up on condoms.
* AYNTK in Kansas? Very little.
* In a nucular war, you're on your own.
* There's just enough vaccine for your leaders to be in perfect health in case of an Avian Flu crisis
* How to siphon gas
* CLASSIFIED
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