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| - (Title Screen) Foamy: For folks who are totally retarded and can't get a grip on subtle symbolism and subtext, this Moron's Guide to Germaine will enlighten you on the character's development over the years. Ever since the first episode of Neurotically Yours, Germaine has always been typing away at her poetry. Obviously, there must be some deep-rooted desire here to write creatively. If you can't see this, you're fucking stupid. As the episodes went on, it's clear she's pretty unstable. Note the episode Almost Serious Suicide and the storybook Writers Block. It's clearly been established Germaine ain't quite right. Though not completely grounded emotionally, there are references to her having a spiritual side in Episode 21–Meditational Melee. Keep this in mind for the future! Episode 29, Secret Admirer, sets Germaine up as the victim of a stalker–the pizza dude. Now, of course, if you happen to be brain-dead, the pizza dude represents the everyman wishing to possess and control the everywoman Germaine. Didn't think I needed explaining, but apparently a lot of folks have a one-dimensional mode of thinking. As time went on and silliness did ensue, The Jiggly Butt came to be a blatantly obvious episode where Germaine is trying to accept her body for all its faults, perhaps maybe even putting a positive spin on things–it's okay to be fat as long as you're happy with yourself. Other examples of all the aforementioned ideas can be seen in Paper Back Bust, where the pizza guy is more concerned for Germaine's enormous boobs rather than her own well being; Unmentionable Auction, where the social commentary of men buying Germaine's underwear online is disturbingly clear–SOCIETY IS PERVERTED, PERIOD. Episode 87, Lewd Lingerie is a play on Germaine using her sexuality to mess with a guy because all women do it at least once in their life, and if they say they don't, they're fucking lying. That is a reality. Deal. The follow-up episode Bra Bashing focuses on Germaine's disdain for how women's clothing objectify the female body, which ironically and intentionally becomes part of her character regardless of her efforts to stop it! Note SUBTEXT! Now, by this time, though not blatantly obvious, Germaine has already started to research alternative methods of raising income. Seen reading Big D Quarterly in the episode Restaurants, reading How to Make Money in Punk Porn in the episode News, and seen reading Perfect Blowjob Technique Weekly in Restaurants 2! It's paying attention to details like this that sets the stage for future development! Fucking pay attention! Though researching the adult arts, she still has a disdain for how women are treated in society, as seen in Car Wash and Horror Chick Flicks, ironically making the commentary that a woman should use her sexuality to stop a serial killer. It's funny and makes you think, assuming you can! The turning point for her character pops up in the episode Telekinetic Pornography, where she admits to giving handjobs for money, but would like telekinetic powers so she won't get sticky during various sex acts. It's right there, folks. It's pretty obvious what she's doing by now! Pay attention! At this point we get to Episode #187, A Change of Face, where all her pent-up aggression about being treating like crap by men takes its toll and she shaves her head and changes her clothes. It's an important point of development where she tries to de-feminize herself so she's not looked at as a sex object. [Sarcastically] "Well why would she do that?" Well, wouldn't logic dictate that some weird shit is going on in her life that would act as a stressor for her to take such drastic action in her life? Maybe perhaps she's sick of herself as a person and hates the walking contradiction she's become and is now trying to run away from herself. Ever think of that?! Nooooo, why would you? You know, why pay attention? The following episode, It's A Bald World After All, covers the consequences of her actions. She's lost her job, and less guys are abusing her on the subway, but they still are. After fighting with her weight during an Eaters Anonymous phone call, clearly stating she is now a fat bastard, she continues on her way through life, living in New York City with no job and no money. And if there was any doubt as to her financial and employment situation, Unreal Estate states it all! Germaine: [clip] Dude, I'm an overweight, unemployed cocksucking poet with no money. I can't afford a home. Foamy: There you go. [Sarcastic] "But Foamy, what's with all the jizz being thrown around? That's just wrong." Yes, it is, and that's the point! The whole aspect of the semen-splattering scenes is symbolism for male dominance! For no matter what Germaine tries to do, whether she changes her clothes or shaves her head, there's always some guy out there just thinking of her as a sex object rather than appreciating her as a human being with talents and dreams! Come on! Germaine hasn't become what she is because the creator's mind blew a fuse or because he's looking for cheap laughs. She is what she is because the society around her is pushing her in that direction. It's part of her character and her development. You're stupid! For those troubled by all the weird sexual abuse received at the hands of man–well, isn't that life for you? I mean, how many guys can honestly say they haven't had sexual fantasies about a woman? None. How many women, at one point, can honestly say they have never been harassed by a guy sexually? None. This is basic human action. So now that this has all been explained clearly to people who don't get subtext, I don't wanna hear shit about how Germaine sucks and how she was better eight years ago. Dude, if you can't allow for character development in a cartoon, how the fuck can you allow for it in real life. Accept that people are broken shells constantly trying to put themselves back together. That is what we all are. The point is that Germaine is the eternal struggle we all face trying to get past the role society places upon us. She's an example of having hopes and how to cope with those obstacles placed before us that may stop us from reaching our goals. She will have highs, she will have lows; she will try to dig herself out of the hole she's created for herself. That is the human struggle. We all have to deal with the consequences of our actions, and that is what the Germaine character, and life, is all about. And, you know what? Seriously, if you can't handle a jizz joke, it's time to pack it in and move to an old folks' home. And frankly, if you can't find the ironic humor and subtext of Germaine reading a feminist poem at a Boobers restaurant while being sexually abused by a waitress, you have no sense of humor and you don't know what irony is. Check your fucking brain. Germaine will eventually get her shit together, or maybe she won't. Maybe she's too permanently damaged by the life she's led. Maybe there is no hope for the human condition. Most people, eh...don't really give a shit. They just wanna see funny squirrels and boobs. But it's subtext like this that separates Neurotically Yours from every other wanker-ass web toon. That's the importance of why Germaine is the way she is. And if you don't like it folks, just don't watch the episode you may find offensive. Life is offensive, people–it's brutal, stupid, annoying, dirty, and at the end, fucking pointless. And that's what the series is about.
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