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| - In a helicopter (the helicopter starts to land on the island) Oak: Welcome to my island. narrator: One deranged millionaire professor. On the park Oak: You're both experts in ancient Pokémon fossils. So I think you're gonna find this place very interesting. narrator: Two idiot scientists. In the lab (holds a tiny Beedrill) Oak: I've managed to extract the DNA from this preserved Pokémon. Grant: The Pokémon became preserved in amber. Brilliant! Oak: What?! No, it just fell in my jell-o. (twists the bottle cap and drinks the jell-o) narrator: And I guess jell-o is in this movie too. Later on Grant: (touches the eggs) What kind of eggs are these? Oak: They're Pokémon. Grant: Real Pokémon? On the park Sattler: (gasp) Look! (the screen shows five Mankeys and two Snorlaxes) Grant: It's so, beautiful. Oak: Welcome to Jurassic Pokémon Park. narrator: Nothing could go wrong. In the basement Grant: You're breeding a Charizard? That's insane! Oak: No actually, we cross-bred a Charizard with a Pikachu. I call it "Pikachar". Grant: Is it dangerous? Oak: Nah. (blood splatters on the wall) Oak: Uh, that's just hot sauce. On the park Sattler: Maybe we shouldn't be messing with Mother Nature. This could really come back to bite us in the ass. Grant: Wow, it's almost like you're foreshadowing the events that are going to happen. And so later when all the Pokémon break loose, we could be like, "Huh, I guess we should've listened to that smart woman and not mess with Mother Nature." Oak: Bros, chill out! Nothing bad is gonna happen, unless of course the power were to go out with some catastrophic storm. But, (giggles) that will never happen! narrator: Or could it. In the lab token guy: The power to the entire park is out. Oak: Even my tanning salon? (looks up) NOOOOOOOO! narrator: Oh shizzle. In a jeep on the park (rumbling noises are heard which make the glass shake) Lex: What the hell was that? Grant: Sorry, (takes out his jell-o) jell-o gives me gas. (eats the jell-o) (more rumbling noises are heard) Billy: Oh, (takes out his jell-o) that one was me. (eats his jell-o) (more rumbling noises are heard) Grant: Augh. Okay, that definitely wasn't me! (Pikachar sneaks up from behind and roars causing Grant, Billy, and Lex to scream in fear) narrator: Starring a token black guy. In the lab token guy: Most of us probably ain't gonna make it, especially me (takes out his Jell-o) 'cause I'm the black guy. (starts to eat his Jell-o) narrator: A stereotypical Australian hunter guy with no peripheral vision. On the park (an Austrailian hunter tries to hunt Pokémon) Magikarp: Karp! hunter: (puts down his gun) Clever cur. Magikarp: (kills the hunter with its super effective splash attack) Karp! narrator: A woman who can't tell the difference between real and fake hands. In the lab Sattler: (felt a fake arm) Oh thank good you're here stereotypical Australian hunter guy. (pulls in the arm, found out it was fake and screams; she does this two more times) Seriously?! (throws away the arm) narrator: And an annoying boy in a stupid hat who screams like a high-pitched girl. On the park (Billy runs while yelling at a high-pitched voice) Grant: Oh shut up! (pushes Billy away from him) Lex: Nice one! (high-fives Grant) (Grant laughs) narrator: And don't forget all that f***ing jell-o. In the lab (Sattler eats some jell-o) In the kitchen (Lex, Sattler, Grant, the token guy, and Oak hide behind the counter) Grant: Are you sure we're safe in here? Sattler: Yes, unless they figure out how to open doors. (Pikachar rings the doorbell) token guy: I'll get it. (stands up and rushes to the door) Grant: (tries to stop him) No no, no! token guy: Who is it? (opens the door) (Pikachar eats the token guy making Grant, Sattler, Oak, and Lex scared,they scream in terror) narrator: Wait! There's no way the token black guy died already, right? (Pikachar drags the token guy's dead body out of the door) narrator: Okay. Never mind. Sometime later (Lex screams after seeing Pikachar) Grant: (pushes Lex to Pikachar) Shut up! (Pikachar eats Lex) Grant: God, who puts these annoying-ass kids in this movie?! (Oak caught a fake arm while Grant was talking) narrator: There's no way they can stop them. In the lab Grant: There's only one way we can stop them. narrator: Oh, I guess I'm wrong. Grant: We've gotta, (shows a Pokéball) catch 'em all. In the hallway narrator: This fall, (Grant takes off his hat to show Ash's hat and Pikachar roars) narrator: pray to God, that you can catch 'em all. (Ash throws the Pokéball at Pikachar, but the ball doesn't causing Pikachar to grunt at Grant) Ash: Aw s**t! narrator: (shows the symbol of the movie) Jurassic Poképark. Yep, Hollywood's not even trying anymore.
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