About: John Deighton   Sponge Permalink

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John Deighton (November 1830 – May 29, 1875), generally known as "Gassy Jack", was the legendary Canadian billionaire super-hobo bar owner turned Mayor who, in 1742 saved the world from destruction by the hands of Steve Jobs and his army of Emo iPods. For his valiant work saving the planet from over-done iEmo, Gassy Jack was given a small slice of the Iraq No-Fly-Zone as his own city, GasTown. Jack eventually retired into a hotel made of used Tires and Banana skins where he faded into eternity. His Bar is what attracted most people to GasTown, dispensing liquid joy to all girls and boys.

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  • John Deighton
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  • John Deighton (November 1830 – May 29, 1875), generally known as "Gassy Jack", was the legendary Canadian billionaire super-hobo bar owner turned Mayor who, in 1742 saved the world from destruction by the hands of Steve Jobs and his army of Emo iPods. For his valiant work saving the planet from over-done iEmo, Gassy Jack was given a small slice of the Iraq No-Fly-Zone as his own city, GasTown. Jack eventually retired into a hotel made of used Tires and Banana skins where he faded into eternity. His Bar is what attracted most people to GasTown, dispensing liquid joy to all girls and boys.
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abstract
  • John Deighton (November 1830 – May 29, 1875), generally known as "Gassy Jack", was the legendary Canadian billionaire super-hobo bar owner turned Mayor who, in 1742 saved the world from destruction by the hands of Steve Jobs and his army of Emo iPods. For his valiant work saving the planet from over-done iEmo, Gassy Jack was given a small slice of the Iraq No-Fly-Zone as his own city, GasTown. Jack eventually retired into a hotel made of used Tires and Banana skins where he faded into eternity. His Bar is what attracted most people to GasTown, dispensing liquid joy to all girls and boys. The following facts are known about Gassy Jack: * Was Born in Hull (Three vowels from Hell), Yorkshire, England * He invented the Bean Burrito * He was scented like a Saint made out of an Outhouse * His Banana-skin house inspired Martha Stewart to follow suit. * He invented the Birthday Suit (Shown being worn on the statue to the right) * On Christmas he would run around throwing Hobo-Bindles (Sticks with polka-dot sacks on the end) at people.
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