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This is the transcript for the episode "Guitar of Rock." Benson: Hello, Mr. Maellard! Huh, looks like he's not home. Help me bring these boxes inside, but don't touch anything or you're both fired. Mordecai: Ok, ok! Mordecai: Man, what's in these boxes? Rigby: Yeah, this stuff is heavy! Benson: Whatever it is, I'm sure its incredibly expensive, so be careful. Rigby: Phew! I wonder where the pool is? Mordecai & Rigby: Wooahhhhh!!! Mordecai: That's the flattest flat screen I've ever seen. Rigby: Nice. Arrgh! Rigby: Fine, fine. Benson: Wooahhhhh. Benson: Is that a signed Bruce rock guitar? Rigby: Uh, we can?

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  • Guitar of Rock/Transcript
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  • This is the transcript for the episode "Guitar of Rock." Benson: Hello, Mr. Maellard! Huh, looks like he's not home. Help me bring these boxes inside, but don't touch anything or you're both fired. Mordecai: Ok, ok! Mordecai: Man, what's in these boxes? Rigby: Yeah, this stuff is heavy! Benson: Whatever it is, I'm sure its incredibly expensive, so be careful. Rigby: Phew! I wonder where the pool is? Mordecai & Rigby: Wooahhhhh!!! Mordecai: That's the flattest flat screen I've ever seen. Rigby: Nice. Arrgh! Rigby: Fine, fine. Benson: Wooahhhhh. Benson: Is that a signed Bruce rock guitar? Rigby: Uh, we can?
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  • This is the transcript for the episode "Guitar of Rock." Benson: Hello, Mr. Maellard! Huh, looks like he's not home. Help me bring these boxes inside, but don't touch anything or you're both fired. Mordecai: Ok, ok! Mordecai: Man, what's in these boxes? Rigby: Yeah, this stuff is heavy! Benson: Whatever it is, I'm sure its incredibly expensive, so be careful. Rigby: Phew! I wonder where the pool is? Mordecai & Rigby: Wooahhhhh!!! Mordecai: That's the flattest flat screen I've ever seen. Rigby: Nice. Arrgh! Benson: Quit snooping around! Get upstairs and put those boxes away so we can leave before you two destroy the place. Rigby: Fine, fine. Benson: Wooahhhhh. Benson: Is that a signed Bruce rock guitar? Bruce Rock: Are you ready to get rocked?! Benson: Hahahahahahahah! (He looks around to make sure no one is watching him) Yeahhhh! (He strums the guitar like he is a rock star) Wooohoooo! Are you ready to get rocked?! Rigby: Benson, we're finished, we can- Mordecai & Rigby: Woah! Mordecai: What happened to not touching anything ? Benson: I... I don't know! I got carried away. This guitar is worth more than my life! Maellard is going to fire me for sure if he doesn't kill me first! Mordecai: Ok, ok, wait. It might not be so bad. Maybe we can find some glue and... Benson: (Lets out a loud cry) Arghhhaarrghhh! I'm ruined! There's no way I can... (Looks up in realization) Wait! You two! You can help me. Rigby: Uh, we can? Benson: You guys are always wrecking stuff and getting away with it; you're practically experts! Mordecai: (Looks down at Rigby and then back up at Benson) Hm, we're totally experts. Don't worry, Benson, we can help you fix this. Benson: You can? Mordecai: Sure! All we gotta do is get another signed Bruce Rock guitar, and then we'll sneak it in here before Maellard realizes anything's wrong. Don't worry, dude, with our help, you're not gonna get fired. Mordecai: Alright. The way I see it, Bruce Rock is always on tour, right? Benson: Yeah. Rigby: Well then the best way to see him is to go to his next concert, and then just go up to him and ask for another autographed guitar. Mordecai: Oh, hey, what do you know? He's playing tonight. Benson: Are you serious? He's in town? That's amazing! (Laughs) Man, you guys really are good. Mordecai & Rigby: Hehehe, yeah. Mordecai: Let's buy the tickets. Rigby: Aw man, it's sold out! Benson: Oh no! I'm gonna get fired and lose all of my retirement benefits! Oh man, oh man! Mordecai: Dude, just relax. Rigby: Yeah, the first plan never works. Muscle Man: Talk to me. Mordecai: Benson broke Maellard's guitar that was signed by Bruce Rock... Muscle Man: Ah! Say no more bro, I'll give my buddy Ronnie a call, he'll take care of it for you. Rigby: Who's Ronnie? Muscle Man: He's one of Bruce Rocks roadies; he can totally get Benson another signed guitar. Benson: Nice. Mordecai & Rigby: Hmhmhmhmhm! Mordecai: Thanks, Muscle Man. Muscle Man: No worries. Muscle Man: Mmmmmmm, T-bone. Crowd: Bruce Rock! Bruce Rock! Bruce Rock! Bruce! Muscle Man: Thanks again for doing this, Ronnie. Ronnie: Hey, don't mention it bro; I still owe you for that night outside of Dooley's. Muscle Man: Hehehehe. (Muscle Man and Ronnie high five each other) Benson: It's Bruce Rock! It's Bruce Rock! Ronnie: Hey Bruce, this is the guy Benson that I was telling you about. Bruce Rock: Hey; what's up, man? Benson: Mr. Rock, I would just like to say that it is an honor. Bruce Rock: Right on, brother. I'll sign this guitar for you after the show. Hey: stay gold. Benson: Thanks, Bruce! Rigby: Man, he is looking old! Benson: Hey, have some respect, he's an American icon! Bruce Rock: Are you ready to get rocked?! Benson: Wooohoooo! I can't believe he's jamming after all these years. Bruce Rock is gonna live forever! Anonymous: Somebody call an ambulance! News Reporter: We have received confirmation that American icon Bruce Rock has died after tragically falling off a five-foot stage. Sources say that Bruce's old, old body just couldn't handle the fall. Benson: I'm finished. This job was everything I had. Mordecai: Relax, Benson, we already have a backup plan for situations like this. Benson: (Sighs) Fine, what's the backup plan? Death: Ain't no way you can contact Bruce Rock. When someone like him dies, they end up in the Rock and Roll Underworld. It's very exclusive. You're forbidden to enter unless you're a bonefied rock star, and you three losers don't exactly fit that description. Rigby: Losers?! We're totally rock and roll. Mordecai: Down to the bones. Death: Fine, but you own me big. When you least expect it, you're gonna have to babysit Thomas. Mordecai: We accept. Benson: I won't have to babysit Thomas, will I? Mordecai: Nah, we'll weasel out of it somehow. Death: Now we gotta make you guys look like proper rock stars. Death (continued): Now you need some Rock and Roll names. Rigby: I'm gonna be 'Awesome Johnson'! Mordecai: I wanna be 'Five - Knuckle Joe'. Rigby: 'Rusty skull Bone'. Mordecai: 'Lightning Jimmy-Joe Johnson'! Death: Those are the worst Rock and Roll names I've ever heard. For this plan to work, they have to be just right. (Death points at Mordecai) Zander Mercury. (Death points at Rigby) King Pluto. (Death points at Benson) Max Amps. Mordecai: Woah... good names. Death: I know. Now let's go. Death (continued): Everyone on. Mordecai Rigby & Benson: Ahhhhh! Death: Welcome to the Rock and Roll Underworld. Benson: How are we gonna get past that guy? Death: Don't worry about him. I'm gonna put you guys on the list. Death (continued): Now act like you belong. Death (continued): The two of us just flew off a cliff, aint that right boys? Mordecai: Yeah, I'm Zander Mercury, and these two jokers are King Pluto and Max Amps. Rigby: We're on the list. Rigby (continued): Cooool. Bouncer: Alright, you guys are good. Death: This is as far as I can go. And remember what I told you: if you're caught, you'll be exiled to the Fake Rockstar Underworld for all eternity! Benson: Wait, what? You never told us that. Death: Yeah I did. I'm... pretty sure I did. Back at the, uh... Benson: (Turns to Mordecai and Rigby) No, he didn't! Gaaaah! I can't believe I'm doing this; just take me back, I don't wanna do this anymore! Rigby: Hey, cool it! You wanna keep your job or not? Mordecai: Yeah, settle down, Benson. You asked for our expertise, well this is how we roll. Now let's get that guitar. Mordecai & Rigby: Woah! Mordecai: This place is crazy! Rigby: Woah, is that Igby Stallion over there? Mordecai: (Pointing) And I'm pretty sure that's Ronnie Rugburn sitting over at that table. Rigby: Dude, there goes Crash! Mordecai: Wait, isn't Crash still alive? Rigby: Oh, yeah... maybe he has a day pass or something. Benson: (Points) Ah! At the back of the club! There's Bruce! Bruce Rock: Ah, hey boys; good to see ya. Mordecai: Hi, sir. Sorry about the whole dying thing. Bruce Rock: Pffft, you kidding me? I love being dead. Down here I can rock for all eternity! I feel young again. Rigby: Yeah, you don't look super old like you did before you died. Bruce Rock: Thanks! You boys still need that signed guitar? Benson: Yes, sir. If... that's okay? Bruce Rock: Of course! Now, who has a pen? Benson: Nobody brought a pen? You have got to be kidding me. Mordecai: Wait. I know where we can get one. Benson: You want to ask the bouncer for his pen? Mordecai: Yeah! Couldn't hurt to ask. Anonymous: Oi, mate, can I borrow your pen? Benson: No way! I'm not going anywhere near that guy. Mordecai: Listen; this is the point of no return, where you have to take a huge risk for a huge reward. Benson: Excuse me! I noticed your jacket earlier and... I was wondering. Is that leather? Benson (continued): (Laughs nervously) Uh... I just wanted to let you know it looks great. And uh... Benson (continued): It kind of looks like my jacket! Benson (continued): Except mine doesn't have the skulls. It has... tassles. You see? Tassles... Bouncer: Hey! (He takes back his pen and picks up Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson) Who'd you guys say you were again? Mordecai: Zander Mercury. Benson: Max Amps. Rigby: Uh... uh... Max King! Rigby: (Looks down) Um... muscles! King Muscles! Bouncer (continued): Come on! Play something! Mordecai: Alright. Let's do this! One, two, three! Rigby: Yeah! (Bangs on a keyboard) We're rock and roooooooooll! Bouncer: You guys aren't rockstars! Bouncer (continued): You guys just bought yourselves a one way ticket to the Fake Rockstar Underworld! Benson: We're gonna be okay, right? This stuff happens all the time, right?! Rigby: No, this has never happened! Mordecai: Get the pen! Rigby: In yo faaace! Mordecai: Bruce! We got the pen! Bruce Rock: (Hands the guitar to Mordecai) Here. Mordecai: Thanks, Mr. Rock. Benson: Yeah, thanks, Mr. Rock. Bruce Rock: And always remember: (He rolls away) Stay gooooooooold! Death: Get on! Rigby: He's gaining on us! Death: I can't see! Benson: We did it! Benson (continued): (Laughs) Man, you guys really bailed me out of that one. Rigby: What can we say? It's what we do. (He gives Mordecai a high-five) Benson: Mr. Maellard's coming! Be cool. Mr. Maellard: So, uh, you fellas like Bruce Rock, do ya? Mordecai Rigby & Benson: Yeah. Benson: My all-time favorite. Mr. Maellard: Yeaaaah. (He walks over to the case and pulls out the guitar) I got this baby so that every now and then, I can feel like a rockstar. Mr. Maellard (continued): It's good to be rich!
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