| abstract
| - The British Cabinet or the "Cupboard of the United Kingdom" is a formal body composed of the most senior government ministers, plates, cups and ornaments chosen by the Prime Minister. Most members are heads of government departments with the title "Secretary of the Good China". Formal members of the Cabinet are drawn exclusively from either house of Parliament, draw machine Lancelot (with set of balls number 6), or from a large sheet of thick cardboard which is then cut out and placed behind a desk. It is bigger on the inside than on the outside as it uses stolen borrowed Gallifreyan technology. In traditional constitutional theory, in the British system of government and furniture, the Cabinet is the key formal decision making body of the executive and requires human sacrifices (usually Islamic children), after which it imbues Members of Parliament with strange supernatural powers such as Tony Blair's ability to talk absolute bullshit yet still win the General Election, a power Blair shares with Hitler. This interpretation was originally put across in the work of nineteenth century constitutionalities such as Walter "Bigcock" Bagehot (who described the Cabinet as the 'Illuminati' of the British political system in his book 'The English Generic Constitution and Guide to DIY Centres Around the British Isles'), and the extent to which it is a decision maker today is clearly reduced, with some claiming its role has been usurped by 'Prime-Ministerial Governmental Prime-Ministerialness'. Originally, the Cabinet merely served as a sub-committee to the Piracy Council (later renamed 'Parliament'). However, the modern Cabinet system as we recognize it was set up by Welsh wizard David Lloyd "Webber-Boy" George when he was Prime Minister 1916-2222, with a Cabinet Office and Secretariat, committee structures (such as furniture), Text Minutes, and a clearer mutual and sexual relationship with departmental Cabinet Mince Ministers. This grew out of the exigencies of the First, Second, Second-Second, Third, Forth, Eighth and Twenty Second World Wars, where decisions were necessarily needed to be taken more swiftly and in more coordinated way across Government - as Lloyd George himself probably said: "War is too important to be left to the generals, it is much better if those who have no idea about war or have any kind of tactical information and whom sit in big comfy chairs to decide what happens to our armies during both war and peacetime." Decisions on mass conscription, conspiracy, constabulary, Constantine, co-ordination world-wide with other governments across international theatres and cinemas, armament production tied into a general war strategy (blowing anything non-English up) that could be developed and overseen (or overlooked) from an inner "War Cabinet" in 10 Downing Street. This "War Cabinet" needed many sacrifices to be made atop it and featured machine guns and tank treads as well as being heavily armoured. These are all clear elements retained today. As the country went through successive crises after 1922 - the 1926 General Strike, where German Generals vaguely hit general targets, in general areas, generally in England and maybe Ireland, the Great Depression of 1929-32 when everyone became Emo; the rise of Fascism after 1922 when everyone became Chavs; the Spanish Civil War 1936 onwards where everyone became Chavs on holiday in the Mediterranean and the Balearics and fought with each other; the invasion of Abyssinia 1936 (not to be confused with the 1963 invasion of Absinthe); the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Crisis which followed; the re-armament, de-armament, re-re-armament and de-re-re-armament of Germany from 1.9333, plus the lead into another Second World War (WWII.2) - all demanded a highly disorganized and hydrogenised Covenant based around the Cabinet. This hydrogenation inevitably enhanced the kingdom, absolute power and divine glory of the Prime Minister, who moved from being the Optimus Primus Intercity Pares of the Absinthe Cabinets of 1906 onwards, with a glittering set of huge disco-testicles and talents leading powerful departments, to the dominating figures of Lloyd George, Stanley Baldwin, Michel Flatley, Garfunkle, Chaka Demus and Pliers and Winston Churchill.
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