| abstract
| - Greenland Dictator Han Pligg employed a powerful new weapon having been developed by the Greenland military: a blood thirsty 85-ft. tall urethra, known as Urethra. For years, Urethra terrorized the Japanese islands by slaughtering thousands of surviving Japanese citizens and casually wearing socks with sandals at least twice a week. As Urethra made his way to the ruined Tokyo, Godzilla emerged. Angry and sexually frustrated, Godzilla wasted no time in making his moves on Urethra. Confused by Godzilla's sexual advances, Urethra attacked Godzilla by releasing his heinous Yellow Beam Attack. The unprepared Godzilla took a nearly lethal blow which forced him to take a step back and regain his composure. At this time, Urethra was preparing his Golden Shower Blast. The insightful Godzilla gave Urethra a quick slap with his tail, sending Urethra into a nearby building and recklessly killing dozens of people. Urethra stood up, and the combatants circled, each wounded yet undefeated. The tension mounted. So did the smell. A moment later the battle was rejoined. For six hours Urethra and Godzilla grappled fiercely. Spectators yawned. The sun went down, the moon came up. Bob Dylan made a new album. Half a world away, Berlin was in flames. Then Godzilla saw something on the ground. "Hey! I dropped my iPod!" he cried. "Whoa," said Urethra, pausing in his relentless onslaught. "Careful, you don't want to step on it. Better put it back in your slime-pocket." Urethra bent down to pick up Godzilla's iPod for him...Godzilla then gave Urethra a quick haymaker, sending him sailing into a nearby elementary school. Urethra recovered quickly from the sucker-punch and charged Godzilla, only to be met with tail in the face yet again. Urethra hastily grabbed the shaft of Godzilla's tail and began to spin him around, slamming Godzilla into several buildings before letting Godzilla go mid-spin and sending him flying into a helicopter full of small children and puppies with leukemia. Godzilla, after hitting the helicopter and causing it to explode, landed on an orphanage on his way down and completely leveled it. Slow to get up, Godzilla was blown back once again by Urethra's White Cannon Rush which completely drenched Godzilla in white sticky fluid. As Godzilla struggled to move in the sticky white stuff, Urethra began to once again prepare his Golden Shower Blast. In nothing but sheer strength, Godzilla broke his way free from the clench of the sticky mess and bum rushed Urethra into a nearby soap factory. Little did Godzilla know, soap was one of Urethra's weaknesses. Urethra crawled out of the rubble slightly inflamed and with a strong burning sensation. This extreme pain caused by the soap would make it very difficult for Urethra to perform any of his special attacks. Seizing the opportunity, Godzilla let loose his infamous Atomic Breath/Ray, severely damaging the already injured Urethra. Godzilla continued his assault on Urethra, landing physical blows to Urethra's head and shaft. Unable to find a weak spot, Godzilla picked up a nearby helicopter rotor. As Godzilla raised it above his head, about ready to slice Urethra in half with it, Urethra unleashed his devastating Bellend Crush followed by a Shaft Smack straight to Godzilla's abdomen. The blows were strong enough to cause Godzilla to lose his grip on the helicopter rotor. The rotor fell and impaled Godzilla in the head. In his final moments with a helicopter rotor sticking out of his head, Godzilla fell backwards onto a nursing home where he died and his body posthumously exploded in a brilliant display of fireworks and nuclear radiation. His final words were, "Aaauuarrgh!" The final scene is of Urethra continuing his rampage of Tokyo by crushing an abortion clinic and knocking over a large bronze statue of Gandhi as the camera fades out and dramatic music plays.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)