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| - To paint, print, or manufacture something that is the same colour as Mario, specify PANTONE 1375 UP. Lego UK cannot keep up with the demand for their new Lego Mario range. The biggest hold-up is that they've bled dry the world dye industry's stockpile of PANTONE 1375 UP for thermosetting plastic, from which Mario-coloured Lego bricks are made. The dye can only be made up from the crushed wing casings of the Nemognatha orange blister beetle. Speaking on behalf of tree-hugging-hippy-pressure-group Compassion in World Farming, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall ranted, "The hyperinflation in the price of orange blister beetle wing casing futures in stock exchanges from Tokyo to New York has sucked millions of unregulated back street sweat shop battery beetle farms into the global marketplace, and li
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| - To paint, print, or manufacture something that is the same colour as Mario, specify PANTONE 1375 UP. Lego UK cannot keep up with the demand for their new Lego Mario range. The biggest hold-up is that they've bled dry the world dye industry's stockpile of PANTONE 1375 UP for thermosetting plastic, from which Mario-coloured Lego bricks are made. The dye can only be made up from the crushed wing casings of the Nemognatha orange blister beetle. Speaking on behalf of tree-hugging-hippy-pressure-group Compassion in World Farming, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall ranted, "The hyperinflation in the price of orange blister beetle wing casing futures in stock exchanges from Tokyo to New York has sucked millions of unregulated back street sweat shop battery beetle farms into the global marketplace, and literally BILLIONS of poor defenseless innocent cuddlesome little insects are being chewed up and spat out, all to meet the manufactured 'needs' of British brats for Lego Marios. If this is the cost of globalisation, then I say it's too high a price to pay!" Monet painted Mario but the paint dried orange. As it as was supposed to do silly – specifically PANTONE 1375 UP – being as how he's working alongside Édouard Manet, Berthe Morisot, Willard Metcalf, and Laura Muntz Lyall in the Warrington Impressionist Nail Bar and Fake Tan Salon. Comasec are rebranding their protective handware range as Mariogold gloves, and changing their colour to PANTONE 1375 UP. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is on red alert to prevent a repeat of the Lego Mario fiacso. In every 17th generation of the western Pacific Ocean's orange skunk clownfish, Amphiprion sandaracinos, the females display an anomalous white pigmented zone on their left flank, the outline of which forms an astonishingly accurate silhouette of Mario's head in left profile. The International Prize for Biology awaits the first ichthyologist who can solve this riddle. Some believe this discovery motivated Mario's ronsealling himself to a constant PANTONE 1375 UP pigment, having a skunk's anal scent glands grafted on to the back of his neck, and his acting like a creepy clown all the freaking time. Mario is fitted with unique safety features:
* High-viz skin tone
* Anti-locking jaw
* Air bag
* Intumescent brain housing
* Wireless Billy Bullshine detectors
* Easy-grip handles
* Steel toes
* Emergency warning light
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