| abstract
| - Paris, France You are currently standing at the wide park surrounding the Eiffel Tower, Paris's most prominent landmark. Streets extend into the surrounding buildings, with the French driving their characteristically reckless way. Off in the distance you can even make out the towers of Notre Dame. Contents: Contrail Swindle Motormaster Galvatron JU-87 McDonalds Car Park Obvious exits: Gates leads to Monastery. Northeast leads to Brussels, Belgium. Southeast leads to Zurich, Switzerland. Southwest leads to Madrid, Spain. Fly JU-87 arrives from the direction of Paris International Airport, her airframe causing quite a few screams of 'Les Allemands arrivent! Les Allemands arrivent!' from the Locals, though the announcement goes out that it's the Olympic matchup, and she's heading for the pre-arranged arena. Once there, she circles around and drops down to transform into robot mode, awaiting Buzzkill's arrival. Folding and shifting, Banshee transforms into robot mode. "Ah, Paris. Home of fine arts, berets and snobbish art critics. And let's not forget -this- beauty." Swindle held his arms out wide towards the Eiffel Tower. "So much metal, so much architectual precision..." Props his elbow in one palm, using the other hand to stroke his chin. "So much potential scrap value. Alas, a truce is a truce... and a job is a job." With a chuckle he turns and folds his hands behind his back as he ambles towards where the two femmes are suppose to be arriving. Banshee has just, infact, arrived there Buzzkill is already in the arena, standing in it's center with her arms crossed and a deadly serious look on her face. Deadly. Serious. So basically how she always looks. "I'm glad you were able to make it," she says with as much emotion as you'd expect from someone like her (read: none) after Banshee touches down and transforms. "I've seen you in action, you're very skilled. Very dangerous. It will make my victory that much sweeter." Contrail asks, to no one in particular, "Did Buzzkill just make a bee pun? I din't think she did puns?" She looks left and right for confirmation or denial and idly sips at a cup of benzene. Banshee laughs softly "It is you zat vill loose, kamerad." She says, with a chuckle, drawing and checking her Luger-type pistols, grinning at Buzzkill. "Either way, ze Empire wins; we are garunteed at least a silver medal. So good luck. You vill need it." "Either it was unintentional, or she's been holding back," Swindle comments over his shoulder. Then holds up both hands. "Now ladies, lets save the mudslinging until during the fight. I'd say keep it a good clean match... But really, we're all Decepticons here and that's boring. Though Madam Stuka -does- have a good point." Chuckling briefly he produces a transformer sized gold coin, rolling it across his knuckle-servos once. "Now which of you fine ladies would like to call the toss?" "No form of humor is beyond the reach of my Decepticons, no matter how low!" Galvatron replies haughtily to Contrail, clenching his fist in the universal 'the world is mine' gesture. It's funny because Buzzkill loathes puns and also humor in general. Any puns she makes are completely unintentional and they're even more hilarious because of it. Just don't let her see you laugh or there's going to be problems. "I don't believe in luck," she deadpans to Banshee before turning to Swindle. "Tails." Tails never fails, after all. ROLL: Banshee rolled a 15 ROLL: Buzzkill rolled a 2 Swindle flips the coin... and it comes up heads! And out of reflex Swindle holds it up to show both sides and that it's not a double-headed coin. "Sorry toots, but you're still a winner in my book... If I ever decide to write one. I tell you, pain in the aft to find a decent ghost writer." The Combaticon quickly scurries back a few steps, smirking. "Whenever you're ready ladies!" After he's backed up out of the way he grabs a nameless gumbie by the shoulder and pulls him down to whispering level. "You got all the cameras set up, right?" "Yessir." "Good chap." He pulls out a credit chip and slips it over behind his back. "Don't spend it all in one place." Contrail nods agreeably when Galvatron insists that all forms of humour may be attained by his troops. Well, yes, that is true. It was just surprising from /Buzzkill/. But Contrail doesn't say that. Banshee nods to Buzzkill, grinning as she watches the coin. "Ja, heads vill do." She chuckles, swishing her wings and twitching them. She grins as it comes up heads, saluting Buzzkill before inhaling sharply, the cogs on her neck starting to spin rapidly. She begin to sing, at first a pure high-C note, though it's rapidly overlaid by other, discordant tones and subharmonies rapidly being added to the note. Glass begins to shatter around her before she brings the full force of the noise to bear on Buzzkill, probably shattering mechanisms within the Insecticon's body, or at least causing pain! Combat: Banshee sets her defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Banshee strikes Buzzkill with her Banshee Scream attack! [Pulled -2] Banshee says, "Ich schreie - Sie leiden!" Swindle casually pulls out a bottle of extremely refined grade energon and fancy goblet style glass, likely considering shmoozing up to Galvatron while the warlord is watching.... But even on the sideline's Banshee's namesake wail shatters the glass in his hand. And he quickly stuffs the bottle back into storage when it starts to vibrate as well. "Okay, drinks will wait until later." Contrail looks down at her cup of benzene when Swindle's goblet shatters, her bottom lip pouted out with concern. Is it okay? It's okay! She grins and comments, "Cheap plastic!" Buzzkill loses the coin toss but she doesn't seem to be bothered by it. She steps into a fighting stance and brings her fists up, bracing herself for whatever Banshee throws at her. She's expecting a punch or something along those lines, not the terrible noise that suddenly cuts the air and pierces into her audio receptors like thousands and thousands of needles. It's so intense that it cracks the Insecticon's visor and causes her to vomit all over the arena floor. What a waste of good fuel! It takes a few moments for Buzzkill to regain her composure but once she does, she wastes no time in pulling her grenade launcher from subspace and pointing it at her fellow Decepticon. "You're a terrible singer," she says flatly before pulling the trigger. Combat: Buzzkill sets her defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Buzzkill strikes Banshee with her Smoke Out attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Banshee's Accuracy. (Blinded) "Touche'," Swindle replies to Contrail, lamenting his loss. But quickly gets over it, throwing the shattered stemware over his shoulder. "Nevermind, I've got a dozen more back at base. Hmm. Looks like smoking might be bad for Banshee's health!" Running commentary, naturally. Banshee snarls as the grenade goes off at her feet, scowling at the insult to her singing. "Fick dich!" She snarls, trying to see through the smoke. Finding herself unable to, she just draws her Luger-styled pistols and blasts away with wild abandon, not caring if she hits any architecture - or spectators! Combat: Banshee misses Buzzkill with her Wild Blasting (Pistol) attack! Buzzkill doesn't know German but she's pretty sure whatever Banshee said wasn't flattering. The smoke seems to do a pretty good job at disorienting her opponent and takes full advantage of the cover it brings. She strafes around her opponent and then dives into the dissipating cloud of smoke to surprise Banshee with a grenade launcher across the face. Combat: Buzzkill misses Banshee with her Barrel Slap (Smash) attack! Swindle does a quick mental calculation of the approximate cost of how much ammo Banshee expended on that spray and pray, but math gets cut short as he yelps and ducks to avoid a stray shot whizzing past his head. "Usually that doesn't happen until after the dealing is over, hah!" He stands back up straight and adjusts the bolo tie around his neck-struts with both hands. Guess he felt like dressing up for playing judge to look more 'official'. "Looks like Buzzkill is living up to her name by keeping on the pressure though." Banshee looks around frantically as she hunts for her target, a lucky gust of wind blowing the smoke away from her -just- enough for her to see the swing coming. she leans back out of the way, watching the gun-butt wizz past her face with that 'oohshit' expression that one might expect. "Hah! Sie haben das Ziel einer Autobot!" She declares, darting back a short distance and engaging her anti-gravs. Once she's got some speed up, she transforms and loops around towards Buzzkill, her wing-guns chattering loudly as she shows the Insecticon how a -real- Decepticon strafes! Combat: Banshee strikes Buzzkill with her Strafing Run (Disruptor) attack! "I have no idea what she's saying, but it sounded insulting!", Swindle chips in. Then has his attention drawn aside for a few minutes as one of his stooge.. err.. business associates slips in to show him the betting results on the match. "Hmm, fairly even. Looks like both gals have fans.." Leans closer and lowers his voice to a whisper again, "Keep the books open until one of them has a clear advantage, but don't tip the scales too far. If they're both this popular we make a profit regardless of who wins." Purple optics dart for a moment, then he shoves the guy away and returns to the match at hand.. Buzzkill doesn't know German but she definitely knows the word 'Autobot.' "What did you just say to me?" She scowls an angrier-than-usual scowl. There's no way she's going to let her get away for...whatever it is she said (it was definitely insulting though.) She takes the gunfire like a champ, barely reacting to the damage it leaves behind, and takes aim with her weapon; tracking Banshee's movement and then launching a grenade. Combat: Buzzkill misses Banshee with her Xxplosive attack! Banshee rolls -hard- to avoid the bomb-launcher, laughing. "I told you! You aim like EIN AUTOBOT!" she declares, circling higher. "But seeing as you like explosives so much... DAS SINDE MEIN BOMBEN!" Pulling a snap-roll, she enters the vertical dive her airframe is famous for, the sirens under her wings beginning to wail - making the classic 'diving plane' noise from movies; the Stuka is the only plane that -actualy- makes that sound. At the very last moment, she releases one of her 50kg GP bombs, pulling up and making it clear why Stuka pilots sometimes blacked out under the 6g pull out of the dive. They were probably the first humans to experience such a high G-force! Combat: JU-87 strikes Buzzkill with her 50kg GP Bombs attack! Squawkbox, who seems to be enjoying the truce, walks brazenly towards his fellow Decepticons in broad daylight, making no attempt to disguise himself. "He said that you aim like an Autobot." Isn't it nice when Squawktalk combines with Beastbox, as he can answer questions like that without talking about the etymology of each word, what it would sound like in Ancient Quintesson, Swahili, or Xindi. Too bad the merger isn't permanent. "And Banshee brings out the big guns! Er, bombs!" Swindle's optics practically light up at the sight. "Don't discount the oldies but goodies folks, those things were built to deliver the most bang for your buck." Is there one of those hidden cameras nearby that he's pitching to? "Do you have a bunker to bust? A trench to trash? An army to harm? Then call SwindleCo for all your explosives needs today." Sure sounds like it. "Buy three and get the fourth bomb at half off. Only at SwindleCo!" Damn planes and their aerial maneuverability! Buzzkill tries to get out of the blast radius in time with a little boost from her anti-gravs but she's just not quick enough. The explosion rocks her hard, sending her flying across the field minus a good chunk of armor. She briefly considers chasing after Banshee but there's no way a big ol' honey bee can match speed with a Stuka so instead she takes aim with her side arm, your standard Decepticon issued pistol, and cracks off a few shots. "How dare you compare me to an Autobot!? You're going to regret your words." Combat: Buzzkill sets her defense level to Fearless. Combat: Buzzkill strikes JU-87 with her Kapewpew (Laser) attack! Let's face it, males of all species love babes and big explosions. Whatever betting is going on behind the scenes probably tripled after that last attack. JU-87 snarls as the laser scores deep into her armour and paintwork, burning away a few non-vital components - and more importantly, burning her 'ich schrei - du stirbst' legend off the engine cowling. Her pilot hologram snarls, pulling down the goggles over her icy blue eyes as she climbs away, immediately looping around to strafe again, her wing-guns chattering as she attempts to chase Buzzkill down with two lines of machine-gun fire in classic movie style! "You can burn my armour, shoot me down, BUT DO NOT TOUCH ZE PAINTVORK!" Combat: JU-87 strikes Buzzkill with her Strafing Run (Pistol) attack! "I would just like to point out it is kind of hard to burn armor without touching whatever is painted on it. And I can get you a discount on detailing!" Swindle just doesn't miss a beat does he? Buzzkill brings up her arms in an attempt to shield herself as she's peppered with gunfire. She decides that staying on the ground wont help her situation and transforms from her scowling robot mode into her buzzing alternate mode. The giant robobee takes off into the air as fast as her abdomen-mounted thrusters can take her, trying to intercept the Stuka grab hold with any combination of her six legs. If she can get a good grip, Buzzkill will immediately thrust her stinger deep into Banshee's chassis. Buzzkill transforms into a giant robotic honey bee. Bzz bzz! Combat: Robotic Honey Bee strikes JU-87 with her Bee Stings attack! Combat: Robotic Honey Bee 's attack has strange and mysterious effects on JU-87 . Contrail opines, "Don't know what that was, but it sure looked cool! And mysterious." Swindle has by now wandered back over to the other Decepticons observing. "My guess would be that in an effort to mimic the sting of organic bees the stinger is some type of injection device for a random chemical concoction. Like putting a sharp pointed shell over the projectiles from the Chemos Chem-Bomb Launcher." Pauses as purple optics dart to one side, then the other. "Not that I would know anything about that." JU-87 snarls as Buzzkill latches onto her underside, rolling a few times quite sharply to try and shake the insecticon off. When that fails, a particularly wicked grin spreads across her hologram's face suddenly as she begins to dive again, the sirens on her wings screaming loudly... and when she pulls up, one of her 250kg bombs is released on its crutch, swinging clear of the propellor and -hopefully- taking Buzzkill with it to slam into the ground -with- the huge single-target bomb! Combat: JU-87 strikes Robotic Honey Bee with her 250kg Penetrator Bombs attack! Indeed Banshee's devious little plan works and Buzzkill finds herself careening downwards alongside a massive bomb. She hits the ground hard and the bomb hits even harder, exploding into a firey mess that engulfs her. It was a pretty impressive explosion but was it enough to put down Buzzkill? Apparently not since the Insecticon emerges from the crater left behind by the bomb, though she now stands in robot mode. She's not looking too hot, there's extensive damage all over her body and she's leaking a nice amount of energon but Insecticons are tougher than people give them credit for, she'll be fine. She takes aim with her pistol once again and pulls the trigger, launching a steady stream of laser fire Banshee's way. Buzzkill transforms into her robot mode. Combat: Buzzkill misses JU-87 with her Purple Lasers (Laser) attack! JU-87 grins and rolls -hard- to avoid the hit. It's about now that Buzzkill might notice she's trailing a little smoke, and as she rolls, one of her rudder trim tabs comes away with a soft 'plink' sound. She appears, however, to still be above 50 percent structural integrity! She loops around to strafe over Buzzkill again, chuckling. <> Combat: JU-87 strikes Buzzkill with her Strafing Again (Laser) attack! Buzzkill takes most of the gunfire across her back, the chrome wings folded against it receiving the most damage. They're practically torn apart by the rounds that pierce them and they spark like crazy but she doesn't actually need them to fly so it's not too big a deal. Hurts like a bitch, though. "I would rather be dragged off this field in pieces than walk away knowing I gave up." She tucks her pistol away and replaces it with her trusty grenade launcher with the sweet hexagonal barrel. "Whether you agree with it or not doesn't matter, you're going to have to deal with it reguardless." She pulls the trigger and sends a grenade into the air. It's a lucky shot but Buzzkill will take her chances. Combat: Buzzkill misses JU-87 with her DEAL WITH IT attack! "Such determination! Such defiance! Such unbridled violence in the name of sport!" Swindle rubs his hands together as he loses himself in the moment. "The ratings are going to be through the rough." JU-87 tips her wings in a salute almost exactly as Buzzkill fires, the grenade sailing over her wing to take another dent out of the Parisienne square. Shaking her pilot hologram's head, she pulls up into a teardrop loop that ends with a vertical dive and what is quite clearly a bombing run. The sirens under her wings once again wail as she lines up the crosshairs between the rudder pedals on Buzzkill's form again. "I respect your dedication, Buzzkill. No hard feelings, ja?" She grins, another 50kg bomb dropping from under her wing to -hopefully- explode near, or on, Buzzkill! Combat: JU-87 strikes Buzzkill with her 50kg GP Bombs attack! Buzzkill takes another bombing, chunks of armor flying off of her body and scattering across the rapidly debilitating field. Despite all that, she still stands, albeit on shaky legs. She stumbles her way out of the blast zone, occassionally reaching down to collect the various pieces that were blown right off of her, until she finally reaches what she deems a safe distance. The grenade launcher in her hand is replaced by a toolbox and the Insecticon gets to work, repairing some of the damage to her body with the scavanged scraps of her armor and some quick welding. Once finished, she packs her toolbox away and gives the Stuka a smug little grin. Combat: Buzzkill quickly patches up some of her minor injuries. JU-87 growls as she spots Buzzkill welding herself back up and attempt to 'skip bomb' the Insecticon instead, flying low and fast towards the Insecticon, clearly intending to add speed to whatever it is she's planning. With a grin, she pours on even more power, pushing her engine to its limits before she drops the bomb early... though a moment later it becomes clear as, after the 250kg bomb bounces off the ground due to the shallow angle and... theoretically at least... slams into Buzzkill! <> Combat: JU-87 misses Buzzkill with her 250kg Penetrator Bombs attack! Swindle oooohs. "Nice style, but didn't quite make the target on that one." Seeing Banshee come flying at her so fast gives Buzzkill a pretty good idea of what's going to happen next and by the time the bomb makes that neat little bounce, she's already transformed and high-tailed it out of there. "I'm not going to run away but I'm not going to just let you win, either. I'm going to use everything at my disposal to give myself an advantage." The honey bee makes a a B-line (the joke practically writes itself) for the Stuka and tries to grab hold so she can wrap her mandibles around an armor panel and have herself a nice little meal. Buzzkill transforms into a giant robotic honey bee. Bzz bzz! Combat: Robotic Honey Bee strikes JU-87 with her Harvest attack! Swindle makes sure to keep his distance should any more bombs come bouncing at ground level. "And it looks like Buzzkill has decided to have an inflight meal." JU-87 growls loudly as Buzzkill begins to feed, rolling hard once again, trying to shake the Insecticon off with a series of extreme maneuvers. With a growl, she pulls up hard and then flies -dangerously- close to the Eiffel Tower itself, clearly trying to splatter the bug across it - though of course, that'll mean the panel she's chewing on gets ripped away... not that it really bothers her right now. She just wants the Buzzkill off her. Combat: JU-87 strikes Robotic Honey Bee with her Eiffel Bugswatter? (Ram) attack! Mmmmm, delicious Stuka. It almost makes getting smashed against the Eiffel Tower worth it. Almost. Despite being flattened against the side of the monument, Buzzkill continues to function and keeps the pressure on her opponent. She transforms and activates her Decepticon brand anti-gravs, keeping herself airborne as she retaliates with a few shots from her sidearm. Buzzkill transforms into her robot mode. Combat: Buzzkill strikes JU-87 with her Pistol attack! JU-87 snarls and turns around... smoke now pours in thick, black clouds from her exhausts, and as those pistol shots slam home, a few significant portions of her airframe are ripped away. Her cockpit is starred by bullet-impacts, and her tailgunner hologram is fuzzing with static... but she's clearly willing to ignore all the sirens and alarms in her cockpit to keep on the attack. Her wing-guns chatter loudly as she screams towards Buzzkill, pulling up close enough for the Insecticon to feel the wind from her propellor as she passes. Combat: JU-87 misses Buzzkill with her I will kill you if it kills me! (Disruptor) attack! Swindle ... takes a few more steps back and crouchs down behind something sturdy, just to be on the safe side. Taps the side of his helm with two fingers to switch channels on his internal comm. "Close the betting pools boys. I think this show is about to draw to it's finale." And large profits for himself regardless of who wins. It's not so much skill as it is pure luck that Buzzkill doesn't get shot out of the sky but whatever, she'll take it. "Come on, Banshee," the Insecticon taunts, maglocking her pistol to her hip and whipping out her grenade launcher from her ever so handy subspace pocket. "You're going to have to do better than this if you want to win." Her sentence is punctuated with a pull of the trigger. Combat: Buzzkill strikes JU-87 with her Frag Launcher attack! JU-87 snarls and decides to go all-out on Buzzkill this time. It's an attack she's used on an airborne foe at least once before... and for a moment it seems like she's fleeing... until she turns as sharply as her airframe can take, diving low towards the ground and pouring on the power. She pulls up almot directly under Buzzkill. It doesn't look like she's dropped the 250kg bomb - her third this fight - so much as the mountings were about to go and she just made them break when she wanted them to. The bomb is propelled upwards by its own momentum, probably going somewhere the Insecticon doesn't want something thick and fa- let's not go there *either*. Combat: JU-87 sets her defense level to Fearless. Combat: JU-87 strikes Buzzkill with her 250kg Penetrator Bombs attack! Buzzkill getting through the first two bombs was amazing, getting through a third one would probably be asking too much. Or would it? She's practically rolled over by the bomb itself before it explodes and knocks her right out of the sky. She hits the ground like a sack of bricks and pieces of her rain down all around her, including one of her arms and most of her legs. It's a pretty grisly sight but still Buzzkill (barely) functions. "This ends now," she says all bad-ass like before lifting up her pistol and firing. Combat: Buzzkill strikes JU-87 with her FINISH HER (Laser) attack! Swindle peeks out as the two are -still- shooting at each other on their last legs. So to speak. "These videos are going to sell -millions-." JU-87 takes the hit and her engine sputters a few times, before coughing out a thick gout of flame. The Stukacon goes down -hard-, rolling over a few times.... and vanishing into a thick cloud of smoke and flames. It looks like she's knocked out. But then she climbs out of the crater she's dug herself in her robot-mode... leaving behind an entire wing, part of her nose, two of her propellor blades, part of her tail, a wheel, and Primus knows what else. "Iz... zat... all... you... haff...got?" she asks, hauling herself to her feet and spitting out dental plates. One of her optics is cracked, so she de-activates it and draws one of her Lugers, coughing thick, black smoke and a few spots of glowing energon a she takes careful aim at Buzzkill. Her aim wavers a moment until she stills herself, clearly barely able to stand up. Wires within her spark and there's a fire burning somewhere in her chassis... this is quite clearly the last shot she's firing this match, whether it hits or not. Folding and shifting, Banshee transforms into robot mode. Combat: Banshee strikes Buzzkill with her Last Round (Pistol) attack! Buzzkill is so trashed that she doesn't even feel the the shot sink into her shoulder. What's a flesh wound (metaphorically speaking) compared to what she's already been through? Since her legs are pretty much useless at this point, Buzzkill starts dragging herself closer to Banshee with her single remaining arm; a mess of energon trailing behind her. Gathering all the strength she has left in her battered and broken body, the Insecticon pulls herself together just long enough to throw herself at her opponent and drag her down with her. Combat: Buzzkill misses Banshee with her Full Body or what's left of it Tackle (Smash) attack! Banshee's leg gives way... and that's probably what saves her from getting taken down. She turns to look at Buzzkill, the cogs on her neck, at least those of them that are left, begin to spin once again, the Stukacon picking up pieces of her own wing to use a a crutch as she gathers up everything she's got left in the tank for one last song, a swansong if you will. She begins by singing the opening area of a famous opera... though it doesn't stay recognisable for long; with her damage and the added subharmonies and disharmonies that give Banshee her name, she lets out an almighty scream... that fades out into an enormous coughing fit, and the Stukacon goes down again. Combat: Banshee strikes Buzzkill with her Banshee Scream attack! Combat: Buzzkill falls to the ground, unconscious. Buzzkill's been shot over and over again, bombed with three 250kg loads, and squashed against the Eiffel Tower but what finally does her in is a song. A terrifying, painful song. She heaves what's left of her fuel reserves onto the ground and then immediately passes out in it. Luckily she's knocked the hell out and doesn't realize how bad she looks. "Bravo, bravo!" The comment and clapping of metal on metal can be heard before Swindle actually strides into view. "No, really. A display like that brings a warm spark to an old soldier's core." And millions of credits to his account, but that's besides the point. "Such passion, such brutality, such brilliant display of what it means to be a Decepticon warrior at their finest! Oh, but must not forget my judgely duties." Walking up to Banshee, he grabs one of her arms and lifts it, and what's left of her intact, as one does for the victor at the end of a fight. "Our victor, ladies and gents!" Turns his head towards the Insecticon as she collapses completely, then turns back the other way. "And someone get a bucket and squeegee to clean up our valiant but alas defeated bug lady as well." Banshee manages to lift her head up to look at Swindle, with a gap-toothed grin. "I von? Sehr gut. Sehr gut! Guten nacht." And she's out again.
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