abstract
| - A spin-off of the popular Google Earth, Google Military, was developed in nineteen-eighty-twelve by the Belgian branch of the then non-existent Google corporation. Meant for widespread use, the Google military program was in essence the same as Google Earth, but with the addition of a button labeled "Call in Air Strike". A later version of the program would also include a "Nuke" button and the president of Belgium was quoted as saying: “I [think that] Go[ogle Military is the best product] to [ever hit] the market! [I'm buying twelve] on Saturday[!]” ~ Dan the president guy on Google Military The technology was created in response to widespread complaints from unsatisfied Google customers, namely those of Burton origin, many of whom felt that the previous versions of Google Earth had simply lacked the ability to PWWN N00BS HARDCORE. The company was hard struck by this gross oversight, and nearly went bankrupt until a clever and forward-thinking employee (Mr French) finally came up with Google Military as a way to make Google finally titillating (if safe search is off!) Shortly after release, the product came under fire by critics, who called it "dangerous", "unethical" and in few extreme cases "fat". However, studies have clearly shown that Google Military is, in fact, crucial to a child's learning experience and actually less dangerous, with average use, than everyday doomsday devices such as giant lasers in space, gravity-reversal guns and George W. Shrub.
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