About: Yipee:Grand Moff thought dead; found alive in attic   Sponge Permalink

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GALACTIC CITY, CORUSCANT - Today will go down in history as one of the most tragic days for the Empire, as the destruction of the Death Star was carried out at the hands of a terrorist group referring to themselves as the "Rebel Alliance". But as sorrowful as this day has been, things have taken a turn for the better. In an odd twist just hours after the Death Star, a symbol of hope and change for the galaxy, went up in a fiery blaze, Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin, presumed to be dead in the destruction, was found alive and well cowering in an attic. While investigators were attempting to determine who was response for the attack, Sheila Tarkin-Pavan, mother of Wilhuff received the call that would normally change a mother's life forever:

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  • Yipee:Grand Moff thought dead; found alive in attic
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  • GALACTIC CITY, CORUSCANT - Today will go down in history as one of the most tragic days for the Empire, as the destruction of the Death Star was carried out at the hands of a terrorist group referring to themselves as the "Rebel Alliance". But as sorrowful as this day has been, things have taken a turn for the better. In an odd twist just hours after the Death Star, a symbol of hope and change for the galaxy, went up in a fiery blaze, Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin, presumed to be dead in the destruction, was found alive and well cowering in an attic. While investigators were attempting to determine who was response for the attack, Sheila Tarkin-Pavan, mother of Wilhuff received the call that would normally change a mother's life forever:
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  • GALACTIC CITY, CORUSCANT - Today will go down in history as one of the most tragic days for the Empire, as the destruction of the Death Star was carried out at the hands of a terrorist group referring to themselves as the "Rebel Alliance". But as sorrowful as this day has been, things have taken a turn for the better. In an odd twist just hours after the Death Star, a symbol of hope and change for the galaxy, went up in a fiery blaze, Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin, presumed to be dead in the destruction, was found alive and well cowering in an attic. While investigators were attempting to determine who was response for the attack, Sheila Tarkin-Pavan, mother of Wilhuff received the call that would normally change a mother's life forever: Tarkin, aged 64, is only one of three in the Imperial Navy to hide in such a manner, the first of which was Conan Antonio Motti who came out of a closet earlier this year. Tarkin, upon being found, reportedly emerged from the attic, sobbing and begging for reporters not to tell the Emperor of his appearance: Current speculation says that Grand Moff Tarkin had ignored numerous warnings that a terrorist threat was underway and had he deployed more fighters, there was a high probability that the Death Star could have been saved, causing the Emperor to grow furious. However, in an interview this afternoon with a visibly shaken Palpatine, this has been proven quite the contrary: However, not all response to the news has been welcomed with open arms. A follow-up interview with Wilhuff Tarkin revealed a possible hoax. When asked why exactly he did hide in the attic, Tarkin replied: This response has left many puzzled, while conspiracy theorists are quickly jumping to assume that the Death Star's destruction, shockingly, was an inside job, perpetrated by none other than Palpatine himself. "This was Yipee! international." ―James Earl Jones
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