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| - Two major branches of Aqua Buddhism are recognized: Bongavada ("The School of the Marijuana Huffers") and Aynrandayana ("The Great Libertarian Adventure"). Bongavada—the oldest surviving branch—has a widespread following in San Francisco and Amsterdam, and Aynrandayana is found throughout the boondocks and includes the traditions of Pure Land, Zen, Dihydrogen Monoxide Buddhism, Hydrogen Hydroxide Buddhism, Shit, Texas hold 'em Buddhism and, um, we forgot the last tradition. Oh yeah, the "Atlas Shrugged" school. In some classifications Atlasshruggedayana — a subcategory of Aynrandayana practiced in the Tea Party, on talk radio, and certain exclusive country clubs—is recognized as a third branch. According to Rasmussen and other notable survey companies, there are enough Aqua Buddhists in s
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| abstract
| - Two major branches of Aqua Buddhism are recognized: Bongavada ("The School of the Marijuana Huffers") and Aynrandayana ("The Great Libertarian Adventure"). Bongavada—the oldest surviving branch—has a widespread following in San Francisco and Amsterdam, and Aynrandayana is found throughout the boondocks and includes the traditions of Pure Land, Zen, Dihydrogen Monoxide Buddhism, Hydrogen Hydroxide Buddhism, Shit, Texas hold 'em Buddhism and, um, we forgot the last tradition. Oh yeah, the "Atlas Shrugged" school. In some classifications Atlasshruggedayana — a subcategory of Aynrandayana practiced in the Tea Party, on talk radio, and certain exclusive country clubs—is recognized as a third branch. According to Rasmussen and other notable survey companies, there are enough Aqua Buddhists in some parts of America to send a Mexican running back across the border to Mama at the sheer sight of them. Whatever that means. While the schools of thought disagree on how to attain Nirvana (Kurt Cobain having died a while ago), the schools do agree that one should start by having a bong hit and praying to Aqua Buddha. However, from that point onwards, Bongavada encourages more and more toking on marijuana, while Aynrandayana is more philosophical: you should do everything yourself and keep everything that you do, or else someone called the "government" will take it away at the point of a gun, or something like that. It is unclear how this hoarding leads to Nirvana, but at least the hoarders get materially richer. Also, according to Aynrandayana, you have the freedom to be an idiot. It won't affect you very much during suffering and rebirth, but you get to be called an idiot.
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