About: The Massacre of the Chickens   Sponge Permalink

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The Massacre of the Chickens occurred during the Battle of Salmonella near Mount Parma. A battle royale between factions of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the separatist Meatballists led by St. Alfred of Parma fought against the Sauceist fundamentalists of Chef Boyardee. The true story of the Massacre of the Chickens has been veiled by rumor and innuendo, but the recent discovery of the Live Sea Scrolls has revealed detailed information about this influential battle.

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  • The Massacre of the Chickens
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  • The Massacre of the Chickens occurred during the Battle of Salmonella near Mount Parma. A battle royale between factions of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the separatist Meatballists led by St. Alfred of Parma fought against the Sauceist fundamentalists of Chef Boyardee. The true story of the Massacre of the Chickens has been veiled by rumor and innuendo, but the recent discovery of the Live Sea Scrolls has revealed detailed information about this influential battle.
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abstract
  • The Massacre of the Chickens occurred during the Battle of Salmonella near Mount Parma. A battle royale between factions of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the separatist Meatballists led by St. Alfred of Parma fought against the Sauceist fundamentalists of Chef Boyardee. The true story of the Massacre of the Chickens has been veiled by rumor and innuendo, but the recent discovery of the Live Sea Scrolls has revealed detailed information about this influential battle. By 1520, St. Alfred had sent shockwaves through the established Church controlled by Chef Boyardee, and the Chef had responded by sending out bands of pirates to take control of the situation. The pirates then started a world-wide search across the seven seas, which went on for nearly five years. The flagship of the armada was the amphibious assault ship F.S.M. Marinara, armed with blackhawk helicopters and an array of tactical nuclear-tipped carrier pigeons. Following rumors that Alfred was located somewhere in the Middle East, the pirates engaged in a shock and awe attack on Iraq. Radioactive glassware from that time period is still in high demand.
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