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| - Voice-over: Hello, and welcome to Tallstar's Hardware Planet! And here he is, TALLSTAAAAAAAAAAR! Tallstar: Thank you, voice over! Hello, unluck... AHEM, I mean, Lucky customers! You have just landed on a planet FULL of all the tools and supplies you need! It's called Tallstar's Hardware Planet! Mudclaw: You're seriousley advertizing again? What can I throw this time? Tallstar: Certainly not this! (Grunts, strains, and manages to pick up a sledgehammer) This is what the Twolegs call a Sludgehammer! It makes sludge out of everything is smashes! Snowkit: Wow! Can you demonstraight? (Cricket noises)
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| - Voice-over: Hello, and welcome to Tallstar's Hardware Planet! And here he is, TALLSTAAAAAAAAAAR! Tallstar: Thank you, voice over! Hello, unluck... AHEM, I mean, Lucky customers! You have just landed on a planet FULL of all the tools and supplies you need! It's called Tallstar's Hardware Planet! Mudclaw: You're seriousley advertizing again? What can I throw this time? Tallstar: Certainly not this! (Grunts, strains, and manages to pick up a sledgehammer) This is what the Twolegs call a Sludgehammer! It makes sludge out of everything is smashes! Snowkit: Wow! Can you demonstraight? Tallstar: I sure can! I need a vollenteer! Talking Stew: (Hops out of the jar) ME! ME! I SHALL VOLENTEER! I AM STARVING AND MUST LIVE ON CAT FLESH! KADFBLWKEGR;IUGFDJKzbCKJDBASFKUGSADFKLUGASDFHGSLKDFGEILRKSFGLISUAGDFI!!!!!!!!! Tallstar: NO. YOU WERE IN THE LAST ADVERTIZEMENT. GO BACK TO MY FLAVORISTIC FOODS STORE! Stew: NUUUUUUUUUU I SHALL NOT. NINJA BEEF STEW! (Puts on a mask, divides up into tiny ninja warriors, and launches at Tallstar) Tallstar: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (Puts on ninja mask) HIIIIIIIIIII YAAAAAAAAA! (Holds up a picture of Chuck Norris) Stew: (And his ninja warriors) AAAAAAAAAUGH! CHUCK NORRIS! HES TOO AWSOME! AAAAAA MY EYES! HE'S ROUNDHOUSE KICKING ME WITH HIS FAAAAAACE! FAFHADFJLSFKJHLIUHRLKASJBHF! (Dissapears in a cloud of smoke) Tallstar: He was already sludge anyway. Now, for a REAL volenteer, I pick Mudclaw! Mudclaw: Wait... WHAAAAAT? NONONONO I DON'T WANT TO... Tallstar: Too late! (Smashes the sledgehammer onto Mudclaw) Mudclaw: NUUUUUUUU NOW I'M MUD SLUDGE! Tallstar: THATS FOR THROWING A FRUITABLE AT ME! Mudclaw: (Flops out the door leaving a trail of gunk) YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME, TALLSTAR! (Hopes on a rope ladder thrown down from a helicopter) MUAHAHAHAHAA! (Flies away in helicopter) Tallstar: Only 10 prey peices! Snowkit: Uhhhhhhh... Firestar, can we leave? Firestar: (Is smooching Sandstorm, when he freezes.) WE'VE BEEN SPOTTED! HURRY, MY SANDY WANDY JELLY BOO! WE MUST FLEE! Sandstorm: SHNUCKUMS, WAIT! HOLD UP, MY FIREY WIREY SNUGGLE BEAR! (Grabs Snowkit and bolts after Firestar) Tallstar: I think we've seen enough caps lock, haven't we? Moving on... Here's a second tool! (Holds up a chainsaw) It's called a slice-a-dicer! It can help you cut wood, glass, steel... even fruitables! (Turns on a chainsaw and mauls a couple hundered tomatoes) DIE, FRUITABLES! (Laughs manically) Only 6 peices of prey! And when you buy two, you get them TRIPLE... yes, I said TRIPLE the price! Kalestreak: (Leaves) (Half the cats follow her) Alright! The last thing I will show you is THIS! (Holds up a wire) Only all of your herbs! Willowpelt: A STRIIIIIIIING! PURPLE POTATO TACOS IN UNICORN DUMPLINGS MADE BY BUNNY BANANAS! Tallstar: You're supposed to be on BBTC! GO HOME. Willowpelt: I AM THE QUEEN OF LEMON PIES! (Mauls the wire, all the cats get electricuted) (Willowpelt bounds back to BBTC) Tallstar: (Puffs out a cloud of smoke) Well, now, we've had an exciting introduction, haven't we? If you buy and ENTIRE SET of tools, you get a FREE SLICE-A-DICER! Remaining cats: Really?! (Eyes wide) Tallstar: A FREE SLICE-A DICER! YEP, A FREE SLICE-A DICER! FOR EIGHT PEICES OF PREY AND HALF YOUR POPPY SEEDS! (Cricket noises) Tallstar: What do you say? Buy at Tallstar's Hardware Planet today! (Bows) Thank you! Come again! Birdcall: If I go to another one of these, slap me! (Leaves) (All the cats leave) Tallstar: (Cries) Everyone went to my Twoleg competition, the Home Depot! NUUUU! Wait... huh? (Tallstar sees crickets, and they are clapping and cheering and whistling) Tallstar: Meh. What have I got to loose? THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU ALL! YOU MADE ME WHAT I AM TODAY... The End!
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