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| - :[Stewie has taken control over Chris. He has brought Chris to a tool shop]
:Stewie: [Into his microphone] Walk up to the counter. [Chris does so]
:Stewie: [into the microphone] Good day shopkeep.
:Chris: [while under Stewie's control] Good day shopkeep. I require a hand-operated buzz saw, capable of cutting through a human sternum.
:Shopkeeper: What?
:Chris: It's for a school project. I'm some sort of student sent here from... oh blast what the devil do they study, Uh... Latin Class.
:Shopkeeper: Sorry kid, I can't sell power tools to minors.
:Chris: [while under Stewie's control] Now look here you gourd-bellied cod piece. Allow me to purchase the provisions I demand or I shall transform your blue collar into a red one and... who the deuce are you? No, I don't have any spare change. Where the hell would I keep it, in my diaper? Get out of here, you hobo. Oh, bloody hell, is this thing still on?
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:Brian: If I remember correctly, this is the physics department.
:Chris: That explains all the gravity.
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:Peter: Gays don't vomit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they came to this country from France.
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:Peter: You know that whole Vietnam thing? Never happened.
:Brian: Oh yeah, but don't mention it around the Veterans Hospital. Those guys are really committed to the lie.
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:Peter: See, Meg, things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.
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:Lois: Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different.
:Stewie: Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a few bells.
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:Brian [during his college days when there was a sign in dorm room saying, "GO HOME DOG." He stands outside the school in the rain] COWARDS!!
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:Lois: My days in college were so exciting. This one time the National Guard came and shot some of my friends.
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:Meg: I wanted to go to Wellesley, but my mom said I should pack a pair of hiking boots and call myself a lesbian.
:Lois: Meg, honey. Eat your dinner.
:Meg: But we're not eating.
:Lois: Then just be quiet.
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:Mayor West: I got ya, diagonally. Pretty sneaky sis.
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:Peter: Oh, Jeez, I spilled wine on your shirt. You know what's good for getting stains out? Sex with another man.
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