| abstract
| - And so it was, that ages ago in the tween of the 59th and 60th day of Chaos, the Lord, as busy of a bee that He was at the time, smoked his Blessed Cigarette down to the flaxen filter. Spewing a breath of rancid smoke, he exclaimed "Holy Me!" and flicked the goodly waste into the Sea of Extinguishment, for the Lord is a cautious Lord, and certainly not a litterbug. And it passed, that in the course of this Holy Litterbugging, His most prized creation, those crafty monkey men, gave birth to an unusual brood. Clumsy yet clever, awkward yet wise, noisy yet eloquent. The Lord did not like these little freaks, for they made little sense, and made much ado about that fact. And so, the Lord asked His faithful advisor, Self, "Self, what am I to do with these crazy Fuckheads?", to which Self replied, "Be still, Self, for these Fuckheads, as fucked in the head as they are, seem to have a different grasp on your Creation than those who are unfucked in the unheads". And the Lord, and his Self, and even Self's Self, reflected upon this, and saw it to be true. The little Fuckheads were running around, belting words of absurdity and making strange noises unto one another. In turn, those who had previously been unfucked in the unhead found themselves slowly, yet surely, fucked in the head. "Why, these little Fuckheads don't even have to do the undercover rhumba to enhance their numbers!", as the Lord so lovingly described the act of coitus. "Look at them! Sure, some of the Fuckheads find themselves other Fuckheads to do the undercover rhumba with", He continued while noting he needed to formulate new phrases for the act of coitus, "But those little retards spread ideas as well as their fucked up genes! This must be stopped". However, His Self, and even Self's Self, intervened and discussed this phenomenon over a jug of cheap Sangria, and decided that the existence of the Fuckheads was not necessarily a bad thing. If anything, the Fuckheads made things more fun. The Fuckheads broke the rules without harming one another. Plus, the Lord found it entertaining to say "Fuckhead" so often. So it came to be, that the Fuckheads learned to live outside of what the rest of Creation deemed "normal" and "reasonable" and "sane" and "definitely not weird at all", and eventually thrived and begat many children. These were the first children of the Fuckheads, but they themselves were simply called Fuckheads, for the Lord loved calling anything by that name whenever He had the chance. In time, the Lord came to love and trust the Fuckheads, for they presented ideas and questions the rest of Creation had never encountered in their unfucked unheads. Yes, the Lord did use His magic powers to see into the future, and lo, it shall be overrun by Fuckheads left and right. And it shall be a peaceful world, for those whose heads are fucked together, stick together. So, the Lord then proclaimed "Blessed be the Fuckheads, for they are weird, funny little bastards, but they mean well. Let all who are wise see the innermost elegance of this zany oversight of a Creation, and let they also Trust the Fuckheads".
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