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| - Rigby: Aw, yeah. Listen to that engine purr! Thanks to the cart, we picked up this manure in record time. Mordecai: Yeah, dude. With this cart, there's no lame job Benson can give us that we can't handle. Hey, speaking of jobs, we're late for the staff meeting. Rigby: Punch it. (Mordecai steps on the gas, and they yell excitedly. They drive up to Benson, who doesn't look happy) Benson: Oh, look who decided to show up. Mordecai and Rigby: Sorry, Benson. Benson: (annoyed) As I was saying, I crunched the numbers and the park has extra money this year. Mordecai and Rigby, you can take this hunk of junk to the dump. Mordecai and Rigby: Wuh? Benson: 'Cause I bought us this. Benson (contiuned): Say guten tag to the Smarten Karten. Smarten Karten: (Voice) Guten tag. Benson: Modern, sophisticated, powerful. These are three adjectives used to describe this miracle of German engineering. Skips: Whoa! This thing has 100 horsepower! Pops: A device that holds beverages. Muscle Man: (Gasps) No way! A butt warmer! Mordecai: Who needs all that stuff? Mordecai (continued): Here are a few words to describe the cart. Reliable, uh, classic... Mordecai: Won't smell like manure later. Rigby: These seats are vintage simulated vinyl. Mordecai: And look at these classic details. Benson: Those are stickers. Mordecai: Dude, Benson, the cart's been at the park forever. It's like a member of the family. Rigby: It's the eighth worker of the park. Benson: That cart's engine is on its last legs. It's releasing noxious gas fumes into the air. Rigby: We're not taking Muscle Man to the dump and he releases noxious fumes all the time! High Five Ghost: No! He's not worth it. Benson: Guys, guys. I know you've had a lot of good times in that cart. But it's not cost effective. Who's gonna pay the bills for it? Mordecai: We'll pay 'em. Benson: So, you'll pay the gas bill. Mordecai: Done. Benson: And the repair bills. Not to mention insurance, tags, and the occasional tetanus shot. Rigby: Pfff! Benson: Okay. Mordecai: Uh... Mordecai and Rigby: $2,000?! Benson: That's right. Paid in full every month for the rest of your life. Mordecai: (Dejectedly) You've made your point. Benson: Now take the cart to the dump by the end of the day or you're fired! Mordecai: We'd better get going to the dump. Rigby: It's not fair, man. It's not fair to the cart! Mordecai: Dude, I love the cart too. But we can't afford to keep it. Now let's pour one out on the hood, for old cart's sake. Rigby: Word. Mordecai and Rigby: Huh? Cart: Woah. Cart (continued): Is this what it's like to be conscious? Mordecai: How is this possible? Rigby: Woah. Mordecai: This is awesome. Cart: I am happy also, entity Mordecai and entity Rigby. Mordecai: Dude, you know us. Call us Mordecai and Rigby. Rigby: Don't you have a name? Cart: Well, according to the writing on my insides, it's Hecho. Hech en Mexico. Rigby: We'll just call you Cart. Cart: Wow, my first nickname! A lotta good that'll do me now that you have to take me to the dump. Cart: I've only been alive for 30 seconds and I already know that life is cruel. And to think, I've still never felt a delicate touch of a lady cart. Rigby: I can't stand it! Mordecai: Cart, you deserve better than this. Rigby: Before you go to the dump, we'll take you to experience all the thing you never got to do. Cart: Wow, you'd do that? For old cart's sake? Mordecai: Yeah, dude. For old cart's sake. Mordecai and Rigby: Hmm hmm hmm hmm! Mordecai: So what do you wanna do first, Cart? Cart: Well... Mordecai: I gotta say, Cart, you're a pretty cool guy. Cart: Heh. Rigby back at ya, Brodecai. Benson: (via walkie talkie) Mordecai, Rigby, are you there? Cart: Dude, dude! Answer in a French accent. Mordecai: What? No way. (to Benson) Hey, Benson. Cart: Wa-wa-wait. Tell him we just picked up his mama! Mordecai: Dude, shut up! Benson: (via walkie talkie) You guys were due back hours ago. Mordecai: Sorry, we- Benson: (via walkie talkie) I don't care! Get back here or you're fired! Mordecai: Alright. We better head to the dump. Rigby: Where's Cart? Mordecai: Ah, what?! Did he ditch us?! Rigby: Oh no! This is just like that time Benson had us take care of his dog, then we took the dog to Cheezers and then the dog ran away! Mordecai: Wait. There he is. Mordecai (continued): Cart, what are you doing? Cart: Sorry, guys. I was just throwing away our trash. Kinda like how you're gonna throw me away. You know, at the dump? Mordecai: Come on, Cart, it's not like that. Cart: Is that all I am? Just a...used up old taco wrapper? Cart (continued): You know what'd make me feel better? Mordecai: What? Cart: If I could get a view of the sunset. Rigby: Yeah! That sunset is prime send-off material. Let's goooooooooooo. Mordecai: I don't know. Cart: Come on buddy, just one more drive. For old cart's sake? Mordecai: I can't say no to that face. Cart: Wow, it's....magnificent. Just seeing such beauty gives meaning to me short life, an even shorter life as a sentient being. I really feel at peace. Mordecai: That's great, dude. Alright, let's get going. Cart: Y-You know, I've never been to a..a, a car wash. Yeah. Mordecai: But we washed you all the time! Cart: No, I mean a real car wash. Look, I know you wouldn't understand because you aren't a golf cart, but, I don't wanna go without experiencing this. Rigby: But we'll get soaked! Cart: Yeah, well I'm getting crushed. Seems like the least you could do, with me being crushed and all. Cart (continued): Thanks so much, guys. It really means a lot to me. Cart (continued): And now that I'm clean, I'm ready for my final wish. Rigby: Aw, what? You said the "last thing" was the last thing! Cart: I promise this is it. One last wish, for old cart's sake. Mordecai: Okay, fine. But that's it. Cart: Nice! Let's gooooooooo! Rigby: Where to, exactly? Cart: You'll see. Cart (continued): Seriously, you dudes are gonna love this. Mordecai: Family Restaurant? Rigby: Why is everything in quotes?
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