About: Conservative method   Sponge Permalink

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The Conservative method is the process where conservatives try to solve problems, contrasted to the scientific method. All Conservatives 1. * Define the question. 2. * Consult the Bible. 3. * Consult their pastors. 4. * Consult their mommies. 5. * Consult their daddies (men count for more than women among Conservatives). 6. * Consult their wives/husbands (especially husbands). 1. * Hire a bunch of accountants to see which method makes them the most money. 2. * Use the plan with the most profit. 3. * Look for reasons in the Bible or in what their pastor told them why the most profitable plan is also consistent with Conservative Christianity. 1. * Consult Fox News. 2. * Keep paying their tithes hoping this will make them prosperous lat

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  • Conservative method
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  • The Conservative method is the process where conservatives try to solve problems, contrasted to the scientific method. All Conservatives 1. * Define the question. 2. * Consult the Bible. 3. * Consult their pastors. 4. * Consult their mommies. 5. * Consult their daddies (men count for more than women among Conservatives). 6. * Consult their wives/husbands (especially husbands). 1. * Hire a bunch of accountants to see which method makes them the most money. 2. * Use the plan with the most profit. 3. * Look for reasons in the Bible or in what their pastor told them why the most profitable plan is also consistent with Conservative Christianity. 1. * Consult Fox News. 2. * Keep paying their tithes hoping this will make them prosperous lat
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  • The Conservative method is the process where conservatives try to solve problems, contrasted to the scientific method. All Conservatives 1. * Define the question. 2. * Consult the Bible. 3. * Consult their pastors. 4. * Consult their mommies. 5. * Consult their daddies (men count for more than women among Conservatives). 6. * Consult their wives/husbands (especially husbands). 1. * Hire a bunch of accountants to see which method makes them the most money. 2. * Use the plan with the most profit. 3. * Look for reasons in the Bible or in what their pastor told them why the most profitable plan is also consistent with Conservative Christianity. 1. * Consult Fox News. 2. * Keep paying their tithes hoping this will make them prosperous later 3. * Blame themselves for not being richer 4. * Blame whoever Fox News blames because they aren't richer
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