The National Elf Service is the principal provider of elves and elfcare in the United Kingdom. Not to be confused with the National Health Service which is a bottomless pit of money set up by the UK government in the 1940s. It incorporates many different facets of elf provision, including public elf, mental elf,and longterm elfcare. Since it was formed, it has become an integral part of British society, as important as alcoholism (which it supports, this was a key feature of the Beverage Report which came up with the idea in the first place) and Jamie Oliver. Funded primarily by taxation, the NES is 'free at the point of the ears' for all citizens of the United Kingdom. Private elfcare does exist, but is only used by a small percentage of the population. With its centralised structure, the
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| - The National Elf Service is the principal provider of elves and elfcare in the United Kingdom. Not to be confused with the National Health Service which is a bottomless pit of money set up by the UK government in the 1940s. It incorporates many different facets of elf provision, including public elf, mental elf,and longterm elfcare. Since it was formed, it has become an integral part of British society, as important as alcoholism (which it supports, this was a key feature of the Beverage Report which came up with the idea in the first place) and Jamie Oliver. Funded primarily by taxation, the NES is 'free at the point of the ears' for all citizens of the United Kingdom. Private elfcare does exist, but is only used by a small percentage of the population. With its centralised structure, the
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| - The National Elf Service is the principal provider of elves and elfcare in the United Kingdom. Not to be confused with the National Health Service which is a bottomless pit of money set up by the UK government in the 1940s. It incorporates many different facets of elf provision, including public elf, mental elf,and longterm elfcare. Since it was formed, it has become an integral part of British society, as important as alcoholism (which it supports, this was a key feature of the Beverage Report which came up with the idea in the first place) and Jamie Oliver. Funded primarily by taxation, the NES is 'free at the point of the ears' for all citizens of the United Kingdom. Private elfcare does exist, but is only used by a small percentage of the population. With its centralised structure, the Elf Service is one of the world's largest employers of supernatural creatures, beaten only by the Shaolin Temple and the Zombie Republican Party.
* Elf Secretary (current): Gylrandia Greatoak of the Green-march
* Elf Service Reform: Eldar Elrion Elsomething
* Pointy Ears and Shoes: Quickfoot Sharpeye, PhD
* Flaxen-haired Maidens: Galeldria, Queen of the Undergrowth
* Toadstools with doors and windows: Kevin the Gnome
* Public Relations: Bob Smith
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