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| - Almighty Tallest Purple: Plasma-Armed Battle Tanks, Maimbots, Death Wave Cannons, ...a sack of taquitos? Zim: Just a few supplies I'll need to complete my mission. GIR: (pops in from the side of the screen) Did you get my taquitos yet? Almighty Tallest Red: Your exile- er, mission... is to observe the planet, Zim, not annihilate it. Zim: Yes, but, I'm quite GOOD at annihilating! GIR: TAQUITOOOS!!! An' a CLOWN wit' NO HEAD! Almighty Tallest Purple: Look, we'd love to grant your request, but we think you're insane- (winces, corrects himself) ... untrained. Zim: (Outraged) UNTRAINED?! INVADER ZIM?!
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| abstract
| - Almighty Tallest Purple: Plasma-Armed Battle Tanks, Maimbots, Death Wave Cannons, ...a sack of taquitos? Zim: Just a few supplies I'll need to complete my mission. GIR: (pops in from the side of the screen) Did you get my taquitos yet? Almighty Tallest Red: Your exile- er, mission... is to observe the planet, Zim, not annihilate it. Zim: Yes, but, I'm quite GOOD at annihilating! GIR: TAQUITOOOS!!! An' a CLOWN wit' NO HEAD! Almighty Tallest Purple: Look, we'd love to grant your request, but we think you're insane- (winces, corrects himself) ... untrained. Zim: (Outraged) UNTRAINED?! INVADER ZIM?! Almighty Tallest Red: You're trained as an Invader, Zim. Battle tanks are for hardened soldiers. (Zim growls petulantly and crosses his arms with a pouty face) Almighty Tallest Purple: Hey, how 'bout we send Zim to Hobo 13? It's the, uhh.. (consults datapad) ... finest military training planet ever! (Turns to Zim) Zim, on Hobo 13 you'll be torn limb from limb! (Zim looks confused) Almighty Tallest Red (correcting Purple): Evaluated! Evaluated as a soldier! If you pass, we'll send a big BAG of battle-tanks!! Almighty Tallest Purple: ...But, not that... clown thing. GIR (screaming his head off): HEADLESS CLOWN! HEADLESS CLOOWWWNN!!! Zim: Very well, My Tallest; to attain my tanks, I will allow the evaluation of my incredible brain meats. Zim out! GIR: How 'bout clown taquitos? (The screen fades to static, and the Tallest look at each other and grin evilly. Scene fades out.) Zim: Hey! Hey GIR! GIR! Check it out! Zim: (Singing the first part of the Invader Zim Theme Song) Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doodily-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-DOOOO! Zim: With my mighty fists of horror and unstoppable cruelty, I am the tool of destruction, vengeance, and fury! Hobo 678: I only asked for your name! (Points to someone else) Next! Throbulator: I am Throbulator! I am a creature of pure headache! Throbulator: YOWWWW! MY HEAD! Hobo 678: Your name! That's all I want! Gah! Skoodge: Invader Skoodge! Skoodge: Sir! Zim: Skoodge? (Turns and points at Skoodge) I thought the Almighty Tallest killed you! Skoodge: Yeah... but I'm okay now. Skoodge: They say they'll promote me if I pass the evaluation. Zim: Ha! Foolish, gullible Skoodge! Hobo 678: Your first task, you scum-puddling squag doogies... is to choose a leader! Anyone who disobeys the LEADER...WILL BE ELIMINATED! Think carefully! This is the most important-- Zim: I CHOOSE ME! Zim: ZIM SHALL LEAD! Object and taste my revolting vengeance of power! Hobo 678: Just remember, with leadership comes great responsibility! You take care of your team, and you survive! WITH HONOR! Zim: Yes, yes! Get on with it! (Puts his hands on his hips) My battle tanks await! Hobo 678: Prepare yourselves, slime-licking smort crabs, to face a series of trials. The finish line is the dreaded Fortress of... (stands up straight and clenches his fingers) PAIN!!! Any mistakes, and you will be beamed away to a losers' holding pen. Hobo 678: The holding pen, OF PAIN! (points at the sandwich) Throbulator: The holding pen is painful? Hobo 678: Yes! Throbulator: Does it have to be? Hobo 678: (Scratching his chin) Not really. (Points forward) Now, MOVE IT OUT! Hobo 678: Hey! No Singing! Get in step! Shape up! Almighty Tallest Red: (From the front of the room) As you can see, brave Invader Zim has begun his journey to the Fortress of Pain! Almighty Tallest Purple: Anyone wanna bet he gets blown up? Sneakyonfoota: A thousand monies something eats him-mah! Almighty Tallest Purple: (Writes down bet on a notepad) Ok, anyone for chopped in half? Tim: Ooh, me! I bet two thousand monies! Almighty Tallest Red: (Whispering to Purple who is still writing) You realize that if no one bets for Zim we could be out a lotta' monies. Almighty Tallest Purple: Any bets for Zim succeeding? Almighty Tallest Purple: Come on! (Red notices Bob and points to him) Almighty Tallest Red: You! Table-Headed Service Drone Bob! You will bet five-hundred thousand monies on Zim! Table-Headed Service Drone Bob: But...I only make five monies every two years. (Has a sad expression) Almighty Tallest Purple: Five-hundred thousand for Zim! Hobo 678: (Yelling) First you must use your wits to cross the molten pit of hideous screaming pain! Hobo 678: Your power suit will provide some protection, but NOTHING will defend you from a stupid mistake! Zim: Child's play! We shall stand on each other's shoulders! (points across the pit) And fall forward forming a bridge...to safety! Alien Teammate 1: Why don't we just cut down that tree and walk across? It's safer and...y'know. Zim: Are we going to have trouble, soldier? Alien Teammate 1: Can't...hold...on! Throbulator: (His eyes pop out a little as he is stepped on) RRRR MY HEAD! (When Zim reaches land, he turns around to watch the living bridge. The land under Alien Teammate 1's feet gives way, and everyone begins to swing down. As the bridge crashes against the wall of the other side, the three aliens on the end, including Teammate 1, fall away from the bridge, dropping into the pit.) Alien Teammate 1: YOU'RE A HORRIBLE LEADER! (fades away) Zim: VICTORY! (Voice echoes in the distance) Almighty Tallest Purple: Um... Almighty Tallest Red: That shouldn't of happened. Hobo 678: (Yelling) This is the stinking canyon of the ferocious meat-thirsty Hogulus- Zim: (Cutting him off) -of pain? Hobo 678: Arrrrgh! ARRRRGH! Hobo 678: It's simple! Navigate from this end to the far end...alive! (Points to the far end.) Good luck. (Pilots away to the end using the rockets on the feet of his power suit.) Zim: I...have a plan! But I will need a volunteer to distract the hog beast. Skoodge: Yes sir! I am your loyal- Zim: Let's go! (Climbs down into the canyon) (The scene fades to Zim leading his teammates straight through the canyon. Skoodge is still screaming and running away from the Hogulus. As Zim climbs up the other side, Hobo 678 finally touches down from his rocket-powered ride. Zim walks up to him.) Zim: Another job well done! (He salutes) Hobo 678: (Gets into Zim's face) What about your soldier, Skoodge? Zim: It's what Skoodge would have wanted- Eh? Uh...I mean OH NO! SKOODGE IS IN TROUBLE! Zim: Hmm... Skoodge: Nobody's helping me! Hobo 678: (Looking at Zim) What do you think you're doing? Zim: I'm programming my suit to steal energy from the rest of the team. Here I go! Alien Teammate 2: ARMS...AND...LEGS...USELESS! Zim: With enough power I can lift the boulder and throw it at the monster. NO ONE WILL SAY ZIM NEVER TRIED! Zim: (Disappointed) Ehhh...takes a little while doesn't it? (Closes the power meter on his power suit.) Ok I tried. THE FORTRESS OF PAIN AWAITS! (Zim hums loudly and marches off.) Table-Headed Service Drone Bob: (Excitedly) If Zim finishes, I get six million monies! Oooh... (Tears appear on his face) Almighty Tallest Purple: Oh Bobby, it appears I need a refill. (Giving the glass to Bob) Thanks. Table-Headed Service Drone Bob: (Lashing out) AARGH! GET IT YOURSELF! Crystal Girl: Curse you Zim! (Is sucked away) WAAAUGH! Zim: I AM INVINCIBLE! Zim: All I had to do was reprogram the lazer turrets to lock in on uh...what's-her-name...that one person, um...but, she was a fine soldier and better luck to her in the future! Zim: BEHOLD THE FORTRESS OF PAIN! (Points at Throbulator) What was your name again? Throbulator: THROBULATOR! (His right eye pops out a bit.) Zim: Yes! Soldier, I have a very special mission for you. (The scene cuts to the inside view of the door to the Fortress of Pain. Slams can be heard from the outside, as well as Throbulator grunting. On the third slam, a sticky mucus shoots through the door, and it opens, revealing Zim holding Throbulator, who had used his head to open the door. A section of Throbulator's head droops down.) Throbulator: (Holding the drooping portion of his head) Throbulator...feel nothing anymore. Zim: GOOD WORK TEAM! Team? (He looks around, seeing no one of course.) Zim: Oh well. Zim: Well, I made it to the fortress. VICTORY IS MINE!- Hobo 678: Oh no, Zim. No victory for you. Hobo 678: Because of your incompetence your entire squad was eliminated! You are a disgrace to Hobo 13! Zim: But...I survived every trial! I am the ultimate soldier! I must get my equipment or I won't get it! Hobo 678: Then defeat ME, Zim! Let this be your final challenge. (He lands on the ground.) I'm really looking forward to twisting you into a twisted, horrible knot...made from you! (He cracks his knuckles.) Zim: Hey, that's neat! Hobo 678: This circle is surrounded by a transportation field. First person to be pushed through that field gets transported to- Zim: The Holding Pen of Pain? Hobo 678: No. It's FULL! Now the loser gets sent to...THE OUTHOUSE OF MADNESS! Zim: EHH? Zim: I have you now! (Green sparks come out of the power meter, but launch back at Zim. Zim attempts to run from Hobo 678 while trying to get it to work.) Zim: UH, NO! UH, NO! Hobo 678: You are the worst student I've ever had! Zim: (Cutting him off) Perhaps you have trained me too well! Hobo 678: (Disappointed) No really, you're the worst. Hobo 678: Your cheating arm trick won't help you now, Zim! No teammate left to steal power from. HA! WEAK! Skoodge: (Panting) Zim! I escaped from the canyon! I made it! I'm alive! Skoodge: (Unseen from underneath Hobo 678) Where am I? What am I seeing? Skoodge: OH MY...OH NO... Hobo 678: AAH! PUT ME DOWN! Zim: Um...this completes my evaluation. The Tallest can deny my requests no longer! I AM ZIM! BRING ME THE TANKS! (Voice echoes) Table-Headed Service Drone Bob: You can serve yourselves from now on! (He tosses the table off of his head.) HAHAHAHAHA! Zim: It sure was nice of the Tallest to give me my own ship! And they tell me if I prove myself as a fleet commander they'll give me my own tanks AND my own battle cruiser! Zim: Hey, why are these controls locked anyway?
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![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)