About: Jan Peter Balkenende   Sponge Permalink

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Jan Peter Balkenende is the Dutch leader of the vegetarian Hippie movement, he is also the infamous brutal murderer of Bambi's mother. Son of Satan and a jackal. Born in the year 666, he got confused with the sixties of the nineteenth century in the twentieth century at a very early age. He used every kind of drug in sight. His mentor Harry Potter, made him become a vegetarian fundametalist. Harry and Jan Peter went to the same school for a year or so but Jan Peter got kicked out for misbehaving and not flying the broomstick well enough.

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  • Jan Peter Balkenende
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  • Jan Peter Balkenende is the Dutch leader of the vegetarian Hippie movement, he is also the infamous brutal murderer of Bambi's mother. Son of Satan and a jackal. Born in the year 666, he got confused with the sixties of the nineteenth century in the twentieth century at a very early age. He used every kind of drug in sight. His mentor Harry Potter, made him become a vegetarian fundametalist. Harry and Jan Peter went to the same school for a year or so but Jan Peter got kicked out for misbehaving and not flying the broomstick well enough.
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abstract
  • Jan Peter Balkenende is the Dutch leader of the vegetarian Hippie movement, he is also the infamous brutal murderer of Bambi's mother. Son of Satan and a jackal. Born in the year 666, he got confused with the sixties of the nineteenth century in the twentieth century at a very early age. He used every kind of drug in sight. His mentor Harry Potter, made him become a vegetarian fundametalist. Harry and Jan Peter went to the same school for a year or so but Jan Peter got kicked out for misbehaving and not flying the broomstick well enough. Jan Peter is actually the first vegetarian ever to become a prime minister anywhere in the world. In the sixties he started the vegetarians civil rights movement. Ten years and thousands of lives later this Eighty Year War ended in the forming of a law that permits vegatarians to vote. Jan Peter is actually a living legend for this achievement and it shows that his short stay at Hogwart wasn't useless in the end. The ending of the Eighty Year War is remembered every year on the 5th of May. Everybody is allowed to have an all-you-can-eat spare ribs meal only to be a vegetarian for the rest of the year. Jan Peter is a Jew, with rastafari influences. A typical citation from Jan Peter is Laten wij daadkrachtig te werk gaan, which means something like Flower power is our motto. Another is Laten wij normen en waarden meer nadruk geven in de samenleving, which roughly means something like Peace man, make love, not war. As with every personality he has a sidekick Piet Hein Donner a.k.a. the boy wonder and a loving mother, Rita Verdonk, the heroic Dutch Ghostbuster, who is said to have a love for large shaped black love gods. The legend says Jan Peter doesn't have a father but is actually the one a.k.a Neo, born as a son of god. Despite his meek and nerdy appearance, any ridicule of Jan Peter is mercilessly crushed by Ernst "Fluffy" Hirsch Ballin.
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