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| - Muscle Man: Dude, I can't believe you can't even lift one box! Mordecai: Shut your face! I can lift it! Muscle Man: Dude, you sound like Pops crying! Mordecai: Fine! You try! Muscle Man: Fine. Mordecai: See? It's not so easy! Muscle Man: (Struggling) Shut...your...face! Mordecai: Dude, 21-12 Time Attack Incredibly Rare on Laserdisc! Muscle Man: Whoa, whoa! Hold on! If I know better, I think you just said "That's 21-12 Time Attack on Laserdisc!" Rigby: That's the director's cut. It's an incredibly rare! Muscle Man: Which means we incredibly have to watch this right now. Rigby: But how are we supposed to play it? We don't have a laserdisc player. Muscle Man: Don't worry, dudes! I know a place! Muscle Man: Alright, let me do the talking. Muscle Man (continued): Hey, Timmy! Timmy: Muscle Man! How's it been? Muscle Man: Oh, you know. Just taking it easy. Listen, we're looking for a laserdisc player. Timmy: Oh! You mean "lamer-disc player". (Snickers) You're out of luck dude! Nobody carries those things anymore. Muscle Man: Come on, man! You gotta have something! Timmy: Sorry. Those things are ancient! Why don't you go check in a library? Employee: (Slides down the nearby ladder) Heyo! (High fives Timmy) Because the Library's where all junkie stuff goes! Timmy and Employee: Heyo! (The continue to high five each other and laugh) Muscle Man: (Annoyed) It's not funny! Mordecai: Come on. Let's just go. (Leaves) Muscle Man: They keep laughing but it's not funny! Mordecai: (On a computer) Okay, we can search for one here. (Starts typing) "Laserdisc Player". Muscle Man: Why is it taking so long!? Mordecai: Give it a second! (The men appear beside them) SP: Hello friends! We overheard you looking for a laserdisc player! How about a VCR instead? LP: VHS: "The VH-Best!" Mordecai: (Confused) Uh...no thanks. Rigby: The laserdisc is what we want. SP: Hah! Good luck finding one of those! There's plenty of VHS tapes out there. LP: VHS: "Quanity!" Rigby: Laserdisc's are higher in quality though... SP: Well, true but did you know that brain can only process so much information? LP: VHS: "Can't tell the difference!" Muscle Man: Hey, losers! You're all up in our business! Leave us alone! SP: (Upset) You're making a huge mistake. (He and LP walk off and the other guys notice the computer found a laserdisc player) Mordecai: Yes! They have one! (Writes down the information a piece of paper) Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and High Five Ghost: Hm, hm, hm, hm! (They all walk up to the Librarian's desk) Muscle Man: Hey old man! Mordecai: Get us your laserdisc player! (Gives the Librarian the piece of paper) Librarian: (Takes the paper and looks at it) "Laserdisc player!?" No, no! We don't have one here. (Balls up the paper and throws it away) Mordecai: What!? They said there's one in the basement! Librarian: The computer's out of date kid. Muscle Man: Look at his face Mordo! This dude is lying! Lirbarian: (Angry) So I'm a liar am I!? I'll SHOW ya! Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and High Five Ghost: Woah... Mordecai: There must be thousands of different formats here! Lirbarian: Of course! This is a library. But as you can see, (Shows the empty space for the laserdisc player) no laserdisc players. Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and High Five Ghost: Aw... Librarian: Not that it will do you any good even if you could find one. All the laserdiscs were destroyed! Wiped out by the VHS. Rigby: Nah uh! Mordecai: (Takes out the laserdisc tape) See? Muscle Man: Yeah! See? Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and High Five Ghost: See? See? See? Librarian: (In compete shock) "20-12." The last laserdisc...(Kneels down) The prophecy! Muscle Man: What? Lirbarian: Years ago. It was foretold, four chosen one would reunite that last laserdisc with the last laserdisc player and end the Format Wars once and for all! Rigby: Look, we just want to watch the movie. Librarian: In time. (Walks over to a sign) For you are...(Removes the sign and points to an inscription that resembles Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and High Five Ghost)...the Diskmasters! Mordecai: No, no, no, no, no! Librarian: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! This new format was perfect. (A flashback occures back to scientists holding a laserdisc) Too perfect. (Five men wearing white coats, shades, and carrying guns soon enter the room and their presence cause one of the scientists to drop the laserdisc and break it. The men soon start shooting down more laserdisc players) VHS needed to stop laserdiscs superior imaging, sound developing spread throughout society. Sadly, consumers heard of it though wispers and rumors. But VHS wasted no time in snuffing it out! (The men enter a family's house and destorys their laserdisc player) Oh, we tried to preserve laserdiscs for future generations. But failed...(A man walking down an alley way is soon cornered by the men and they take out his laserdisc and shoot it. The men are then seen burning a pile of laserdiscs and a person takes an non-destory laserdisc player and runs off) When their attack was done, only one laserdisc player remained. I am the last of my order. (Another seen shows the laserdisc player getting passed until it reaches him. The flashback ends) Sworn to protect the final laserdisc player. You, you're the chosen ones who set me free! Mordecai: (Amazed) Woah...When did all of this happen? Librarian: Two years ago, May I? Mordecai: Fine...(Hands him the laserdisc) Librarain: (Takes out the laserdisc and looks at it) Good heavens...(Walks over to the door and places the laserdisc tape on the spot and it starts spinning. The entire room begins to shake as the door suddenly opens. He along with Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and High Five Ghost enter as SP is seen hiding just behind) SP: SP to LP! SP to LP! Time to fast forward! Rigby: What are those statues? Librarain: They're the Guardians of Obsolete Formats! Betamax, 8-track, Floppy Disk, Reel-to-Reel. You see, one just not take the last laserdisc player, you must awaken the Guardians first. (Pushes a tray with four items on it in front of the group and they are lifted up) Muscle Man: What the? (two pegs emerge from Reel-to-Reel's chest) Aw man...sick! Mordecai: Woah... Rigby: It's amazing! Muscle Man: We did it! Libraian: Diskmasters behold! The last laserdisc player! Mordecai: Cool. (Grab the laserdisc player and the Guardians of Obsolete Formats begin moving) Betamax: My liege... 8-track: My liege... Floppy Disk: My liege... Reel-to-Reel: My liege... Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and High Five Ghost: Woah... Librarian: They are your protecters. The laserdisc format has many enemies. Who will stop at nothing to destroy those who wield its power. Knowning the dangers, would you still take the player? Mordecai: Yeah! Rigby: We just really want to watch this. Betamax: One more thing! Muscle Man: What now bro!? Betamax: Library card please. Muscle Man: (Pushes Rigby) I can't believe you don't have a library card! Rigby: (Pushes him back) You don't have one either! Librarian: Okay! All set! SP: Hold it right there! Mordecai: Huh? SP: We told you you were making a mistake! Rigby: Ah COME ON!!! Muscle Man: Didn't we tell you losers to get lost!? SP: We can't "get lost". For you see, (Pulls down his shirt) we are the Ancient Order of the VHS! Thank you for revealing the location of the last laserdisc player! (Laughs) Now, hand it over or die! LP: VHS: "Your VH-Death!" Librarian: Hah! Laserdisc will rise again! For they are the chosen ones and they would gladly die for laserdisc! Isn't that right Diskmasters? Rigby: I don't know about "die" for say... SP: Very well...(He and the rest of the Order take out guns ) Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and High Five Ghost: AH! SP: Fire! (He and the rest of the Order begin firing at the group but the Guardians shield them from the shots) Charge! (Members of the Order being moving closer) Reel-to-Reel: Boomer-Reel! (Throws two reel-to-reel tapes at some of the members of the Order knocking them out) Betamax: RGB-Beam! (Fires a colorful beam at some of the members and vaporizes them) Floppy Disk: Random Access Mayhem! (Tosses floppy disks at the members and the rest of the Guardians begin to overpower the Order) Ancient Order Member: Send in the Tape Rewinders! (Two small robots enter from the sides and fires missles at the Guardians) Librarian: RUN!!! 8-Track: I got this! (Punches the Tape Rewinder and runs down some of the Order members) Ancient Order Member: Huh? Where am I? (Gets slammed through the wall) Librarian: Yes! We're doing it! 8-Track: The day we've worked for is upon us! Librarian: Indeed! (Spots something) Gasp! Oh no... 8-Track: The VC-Arbitrator! (Looks at his wrist and notices he is at full power) I'll handle this! Librarian: 8-Track! NO!!! 8-Track: "8-Track Attack!" (Fires green tapes at the VC-Arbitrator but has no effect. The VC-Arbitrator then fires a red beam at 8-Track completely vaporizating him) Librarian: 8-TRACK!!! He was two weeks from retirement... Muscle Man: Everyone okay? (He, Mordecai, Rigby, and High Five Ghost notice the Librarian moving and rushes to his side) Librarian: Disk Masters...I'm done for...(Coughs) I didn't think it would come to this but we're running out of options. It's time I shed this weak, human form! Place the laserdisc on my chest! Rigby: Ok. (Places the laserdisc on the Librarian's chest) Librarian: Now, touch hands and chant "Six Simper Fidelity!" Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and High Five Ghost: Uh... Librarian: JUST DO IT!!! Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and High Five Ghost: (The all place their hands on the Librarian's chest and they start chanting) Six Simper Fidelity! Six Simper Fidelity! (The laserdisc begins spinning on the Librarian's chest and he begins to float in the air) Woah... SP: The Laserdisc Guardian! It's...beautiful... Mordecai and Rigby: What? Reel-to-Reel: Diskmasters, cover your ears! Mordecai and Rigby: Ok! (They cover their ears and the Laserdisc Guardian lets out an ear-piercing sound wave which blows back members of the Anicent Order) SP: (Has his ears covered) Hey, you! Cover your ears! LP: (In a trance) Forty-four point one, killer sample ray...! (His head is suddenly blown off) Timmy: Dude, Muscle Man! My boss heard me making fun of you and totally fired me! So, it's cool if I hang out with you guys-(His eyes get blasted as well) VC-Abitrator: (Blasting at the Laserdisc Guardian) Inferred Blast! Inferred Blast! Guardians of Obsolete Formats: Huzzah!!! Betamax: Diskmasters! The Format Wars are over! Floppy Disk: Agreed! Reel-to-Reel: All hail the Diskmasters! The Guardians and the Laserdisc Guardian: Hail! Muscle Man: So...can we watch "21-20 Time Attack" now? Actor 1: Sweet mother of mercy, dear. Attacking but they're from another time! Actor 2: I guess it's just like my grandfather Bob said: "In 21-12, anything is possible!" Actor 1: This truly is a 21-12 Time Attack! We're gonna need a lot more hoverbikes! Mordecai: Dude...it's getting late...how much is left? Mordecai: Two and a half hours... Muscle Man: The Directors Cut original vision blows... Muscle Man, Rigby, and High Five Ghost: Yeah! Mordecai: The picture's amazing!
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