About: Interviewing Your Shelf   Sponge Permalink

An Entity of Type : owl:Thing, within Data Space : 134.155.108.49:8890 associated with source dataset(s)

So here I am again, interviewing my shelf. Yes, my shelf. I lost my other job. ME: So Mr. Shelf, how have you been? SHELF: ME: Um...by the way i asked you a QUESTION. SHELF: ME: Playing tough, are you? OH, i see you're not talking cause you're made of IKEA, eh? SHELF: ME: OK, seriously TALK!!!!! SHELF: ME: TALK! TALK! WHY WON'T YOU TALK! IT'S OKAY TO BE MADE FROM IKEA SO TALK!!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL LOSE MY JOB IF YOU DON'T!!! SHELF: ME: GAAAAH IM GOING TO HIT YOU. I'M SERIOUS!!!! SHELF: ME: I was being serious. SHELF: ME: TALK!!! Pleaseeee or i'll looooose my job!!! SHELF: ME: GAAAAH! (hits shelf) DIRECTOR: He is so unprofessional. (rolls eyes)

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  • Interviewing Your Shelf
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  • So here I am again, interviewing my shelf. Yes, my shelf. I lost my other job. ME: So Mr. Shelf, how have you been? SHELF: ME: Um...by the way i asked you a QUESTION. SHELF: ME: Playing tough, are you? OH, i see you're not talking cause you're made of IKEA, eh? SHELF: ME: OK, seriously TALK!!!!! SHELF: ME: TALK! TALK! WHY WON'T YOU TALK! IT'S OKAY TO BE MADE FROM IKEA SO TALK!!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL LOSE MY JOB IF YOU DON'T!!! SHELF: ME: GAAAAH IM GOING TO HIT YOU. I'M SERIOUS!!!! SHELF: ME: I was being serious. SHELF: ME: TALK!!! Pleaseeee or i'll looooose my job!!! SHELF: ME: GAAAAH! (hits shelf) DIRECTOR: He is so unprofessional. (rolls eyes)
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abstract
  • So here I am again, interviewing my shelf. Yes, my shelf. I lost my other job. ME: So Mr. Shelf, how have you been? SHELF: ME: Um...by the way i asked you a QUESTION. SHELF: ME: Playing tough, are you? OH, i see you're not talking cause you're made of IKEA, eh? SHELF: ME: OK, seriously TALK!!!!! SHELF: ME: TALK! TALK! WHY WON'T YOU TALK! IT'S OKAY TO BE MADE FROM IKEA SO TALK!!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL LOSE MY JOB IF YOU DON'T!!! SHELF: ME: GAAAAH IM GOING TO HIT YOU. I'M SERIOUS!!!! SHELF: ME: I was being serious. SHELF: ME: TALK!!! Pleaseeee or i'll looooose my job!!! SHELF: ME: GAAAAH! (hits shelf) DIRECTOR: He is so unprofessional. (rolls eyes) So we got this cheaper shelf...and more professional guy to do the interview. PRO GUY: Sooo Shelf my man, How ya been? SHELF: PRO GUY: It's OK. I don't bite...only my dog does. And that's usually my backside that he bites. Do you want to see the marks?...Anyway! SHELF: PRO GUY: Um....So....The interview's started....O.K I'll greet you to start off. Soooo Shelf my man, How ya been? SHELF: PRO GUY: ....Seriously, talk. Look, we're losing time. Only 1 hour 28 and 34 seconds left, idiot. Hurry up!!!! I have tons of questions to ask you! SHELF: PRO GUY: Okay....I'll start with a question then. Where were you made? SHELF: PRO GUY: Made in China. I see. That's O.K, i know how it feels.....my dog's Chinese....i think. Anyway, question 2. When were you born? SHELF: PRO GUY: I can answer that myself....You are stamped with a date...says...19/08/06. SHELF: PRO GUY: ANYWAY!!!! When did you decide to become a shelf? SHELF: PRO GUY: Born a shelf, eh? Well, i can say that for my daughter as well, but hey! That's life! SHELF: PRO GUY: ....hmm....Do you have a sense of humor? SHELF: PRO GUY: Well??? (stares closely at shelf) SHELF: (nail falls of shelf and pokes him in the eye) PRO GUY: GAAAAAAAH!!!! (dies) And the shelf fell on him, crushing the not-so-poor guy. (who was rather rich in actuality).
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